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Forums / Welcome and orientation / Unhappy with who I am, feeling quite lonely

Topic: Unhappy with who I am, feeling quite lonely

5 posts, 0 answered
  1. dani_kay
    dani_kay avatar
    2 posts
    14 April 2020

    Hi everyone,

    My name is Dani. I am a single mum and it's just me and my son at home. My family live 3 hours away and especially during this self isolation stage I feel very lonely. I just miss a simple thing such as a hug. My days are so busy all the time, i work full time and raise my son on my own so it's exhausting. I have relied on alcohol to self medicate and am ashamed of it.

    I feel a bit lonely and lost at the moment.

    Thank you for reading this.

    Dani x

    2 people found this helpful
  2. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    9087 posts
    14 April 2020 in reply to dani_kay

    Hello Dani_kay..

    Welcome to the forums..

    It is hard and exhausting work raising a son on your own and working at the same time...

    Like you my family are 7 hours away, my children have all grown up with children of their own, and it is very hard through these stages of isolation..I’m sorry your feeling lonely and lost...Your not alone lovely Dani...I also feel the same as many others here are struggling with the loneliness of isolation..

    We have a thread called coping with the coronavirus which has a lot of members talking about their thoughts, fears, etc on their, your very welcome to read only or join in with the conversation where lots of caring people are their for you....

    Hugs are beautiful to receive they warm our soul, and make us feel better..if I could I would reach through the screen and give you one..stay strong beautiful...

    Please don’t feel ashamed of self meditation..it was your way of handling things..Maybe listening to a peaceful bedtime sleep story when you laying down in bed, or some soft music, both require your full concentration, and hopeful you’ll drift of to sleep through them...

    Not sure if I’ve been much help to you.. I wanted to send you a caring warm hug.🤗...to let you know that you are cared for here..

    Sending my care, love and hugs to you beautiful Dani..

    Grandy..

  3. dani_kay
    dani_kay avatar
    2 posts
    17 April 2020 in reply to Ggrand

    Hi Grandy,

    Thank you so much for your lovely message, it made my day.

    I feel so stuck where I am at the moment. Each morning I wake up thinking I can make today a better one and take a step forward, but evening comes around and i'm back to where I started.

    I just feel really worn out, exhausted, and tired.

    Thank you so much again xx

    1 person found this helpful
  4. LongingtoBelong
    blueVoices member
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    LongingtoBelong avatar
    1 posts
    17 April 2020 in reply to dani_kay

    Hi Dani, I so hear you about feeling very lost and lonely at the moment!

    I was a single Mum too for 18 years. How old is your son? My son is now 29 & of course does not live with me now but I totally understand what a huge effort it would be to work full time as well as bringing up a child as a sole parent. Good on you! I do understand the exhaustion of doing everything on your own too - for what is actually a two person job.

    Please don't feel ashamed for finding a 'coping' mechanism that works for you. The fact you have awareness that it is not your wisest choice is progress in itself. For many years I self-medicated with marijuana (my adoptive father was an alcoholic & turned me off excessive drinking all together) & tbh I have felt incredible shame about that too. Hearing you speak so openly about how you cope has inspired me to be more kind, compassionate and accepting of my own coping mechanisms - albeit not the wisest choices in the long term.

    Feel free to reach out and continue chatting if it helps.

    Sending love & warm hugs

  5. Ggrand
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Ggrand avatar
    9087 posts
    17 April 2020 in reply to dani_kay

    Hello Dani,

    I hope you don’t mind, me shortening your forum name...

    I can relate to the evening being the most challenging part of our day....I think it’s because, we tend to have time to reflect on our day and start nit picking everything we done, thinking I could have done better, or why did I do or say that, why didn’t I do it this way, why didn’t I say better....I hope you understand what I’m trying to say....I used to just sit down and start downing myself constantly...

    Sweetheart...everyday we do the very best we can...you should be so proud of yourself, raising your beautiful son on your own, plus working....I am proud of you..it’s a hard job, but very rewarding watching our children grow...

    Meditation is hard, I’ve tried it, I get bored with it..my mind still wanders...That’s why I listen to sleep stories for adults, they are peaceful stories, and if you can listen to the story with your full concentration, and when your mind does wander, just gently bring your mind back to listening to the story...If you go to YouTube, and search Dan Jones Sleep stories..they will pop up....and just have the volume to a background volume....Can I gently challenge you to try for a few nights...It’s okay if you don’t..I’m concerned about you..and not sleeping with so much to do the next day...can bring us down a lot further and quicker...

    I have a grounding thread here, that might help you..if you feel up to in the search bar, on top of this page..search. “Grounding What is it and how do we”...Sometimes before we can relax and feel calmer, we need to ground ourselves first, before our coping tools can be beneficial for us....

    Please lovely Dani..look after yourself, be gentle and kind to your beautiful soul...your important to us here, your beautiful son..and especially to you..

    Sending some warm caring hugs to you with my love and care...🤗💜🦋...

    Grandy.....

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