Hi everyone, this is my first time posting on here, so I’m not really sure where to start… I’ve been diagnosed with depression, anxiety and OCD, and have been told by a shrink that I’m pretty well on the borderline of having bipolar. I’ve also recently been told by my new boss, who used to be a nurse, that she’d be surprised if I wasn’t on the autism spectrum, at the high-functioning end. I guess you could say I drew the short straw on a lot of things in life. Lately I’ve just really been struggling, wondering what the point is of continuing. I have a great family who love me and I’ve started a new job a couple of months ago, but I’m really struggling to see any purpose, any light at the end of the tunnel. I’m not sure where else to turn.

Hi FightingForSanity,

Wellcome to our forums.

Im sorry you are feeling this way.

I understand it’s hard and confronting being diagnosed with certain mental health conditions but I’d like to congratulate you on getting a diagnosis because now you can work on your recovery.

We have a little in common Fighting ForSanity I was also diagnosed with severe anxiety OCD.

When I was diagnosed with this I remember saying to my psychiatrist well I don’t want it! My psychiatrist looked back at me and said you have it!

It took me a little while to accept what I had been diagnosed with but once I accepted it I was able to begin to work on my recovery.

I did a specialised therapy for my OCD it was at a OCD clinic at this clinic I was given all of the tools and strategies I needed to master my OCD and after practice and perseverance I’ve mastered my OCD and I’ve recovered and so can you with the correct professional help.

Has any therapy been recommended to you for your OCD?

I understand that your new boss used to be a nurse but please don’t take what she said to you as fact because only a qualified doctor can diagnose.

There is light at the end of tunnel Im living proof of it you can recover.

Im glad that you have a loving family.

You say you can’t see any purpose but believe me you have one and you will find it in unexpected ways.

hang in there Im here to chat

Hi, welcome

Yes, it all can be quite daunting when diagnosed. The usual journey that begins from that point is- diagnosis, despair, sadness, guilt and then acceptance, realisation and in some cases- appreciation.

Appreciation, how could that be? What could you appreciate in having a mental health issue?

Well, firstly you've realised why you have been feeling the way you have. You've found out more about yourself. Secondly, many famous people have had depression "google- famous people with depression. Third, most people with a mental illness have a creative side like arts, entertainment, writing and adventure. Mine is poetry and without my bipolar moods or dysthymia, I couldn't write it.

I'm pointing this out because with a different approach to your illness can change your life forever. I recommend, based on my experience-

• Attend motivation lectures
• Read. Put anything into search
• Take note of the flip side of life, trees, birds, sunsets, beaches, friends. All free and wonderful
• Watch YouTube videos. My favourite is Maharaji prem rawat sunset . Google it and many more of his incredible talks.
• Meditate.

I hope that helps.

TonyWK

Thank you, I really appreciate you replying. I was diagnosed with depression before any other condition, that was in my late teens, which was about 20 years ago. Since being diagnosed with anxiety/OCD, I’ve tried cognitive behavioural therapy and other things with a psychologist, as well as different medications. I’ve found that some things work to an extent, and can relieve things for a short while, but honestly, I’m so tired. It’s been 20 years of dealing with my Cadbury Favourites selection of mental illnesses, and I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining as I genuinely appreciate the work that therapists have done with me, but I’m just straight out exhausted. I know that there’s not going to be a magic bullet that “cures” me of everything and that I need to work at it, but my god it’s hard. After 20 years of constantly focusing and working on my thought process, my behaviours and my environment, it takes a toll. It’s mentally exhausting to have to work so hard just to keep my sanity, every waking moment. At this point I’m honestly done. I’m exhausted to the point where I’m not sure how much longer I can keep fighting, keep up the mental gymnastics it takes every day just to get through.

I look around at the world and I see so many people just going through life without having to go through all this, and I know it’s not their fault but I can’t help but resent it and I’m starting to resent other people for it. I’m rapidly running out of reasons to be able to tell myself to keep getting up each morning and keep fighting through this. I feel like if people are all jars of things like hopes, aspirations, goals, dreams, etc then at this point, my jar is empty.

That’s ok FightingForSanity happy to support you. 😊

I totally understand it’s a very exhausting condition to have, it can be unrelenting.

I did metacognitive therapy my therapy was at a clinic that specialised in OCD…. I did my therapy in a group there were 6 others who had the exact same condition as me and we were all aiming for the same goal.

In this therapy we were taught all of the things that kept us in our OCD cycle and then we learned how to disengage from it.

Maybe you could see if there is a OCD clinic somewhere near yourself.

I believe OCD is a specialised area not all phycologists understand the full cycle of it…

I believe I was very lucky to be put on a path to great health professional that understood OCD completely so I could recover…. I really hope you can find a path like mine.

I understand it’s hard and yes it takes alot of work and perseverance to learn how to break free of OCD but you really can do it! Believe me you too can learn to fly it’s amazing……..

I really do understand your struggle because I was once in your position but please believe that you can keep persevering, you really do have so much more inside of you ……. The true you is there inside of you.

Once you are taught the correct tools to master your OCD your life will become so much easier….. “ we need to be taught these tools “ we don’t just know them.

Have you ever done any meditation?

I used to tell myself that my condition was temporary and I was going to recover even on the bad days I’d tell myself this….. I’d tell myself to keep pushing forward keep persevering keep up the fight because one day I would be free of OCD.

This all payed off, it wasn’t an easy path but it was so worth it……….. my path led me to “unexplainable things …….. I gained so much wisdom and self growth on my journey and you will too.

Im always here to chat to you…… don’t give up there is so much more inside you….. hold onto hope because hope is what will keep you moving forward. ❤️💪

Hi there, FightingForSanity!
First and foremost, thank you for choosing to join our online community! We are grateful you have. 

Your first posts here with us are powerful - brave in their honesty, and I know there are many in our community who will feel less alone and misunderstood because of your sharing.

No one can deny how exhausting 20 years of struggle must feel. Even as your professionals narrowing down the diagnosis makes the possibility of more effective and beneficial solutions that may make a world of difference, enduring that process is still arduous and daunting. The fatigue and soul-ache are understandable, and worthy of empathy!

Something that is always of interest, spoken of by some sufferers of Bi-Polar, ADHD, and Autism Spectrum (basically people who know they will always have struggles mentally) is that of the 'choice' of release from suffering. A really remarkable man by the name of Mathieu Ricard, a French Buddhist and Neural researcher has shown a lot of proof that sometimes the act of 'fighting' for health, makes us unwell - showing the brains mechanisms that separate 'being in pain' (which there is nothing we can do about) and 'suffering from pain' (which shows up as being a choice)., It takes not insignificant practice to be able to function that way - but it is fascinating food for thought!

There can be no doubt that you have put in incredible hard yards - wanting to stop for a while is utterly natural, and maybe even advisable - but that black wolf voice of depression might try to twist that intent into something worse. Please let me take this opportunity to remind you of Lifeline on 13 11 14; of Black Dog institute which you can reach on their website here; and you can absolutely reach out to us 24 hours a day on 1300 22 4636 or click here to start a webchat!  Services like e-couch and MoodGym can allow you to do some brief therapy challenges whenever you want, and whenever you need, without it feeling like a session or a fight.

Do not be afraid to try to stop and rest, FightingForSanity, but please do so in a way that is safe and peaceful, and don't hesitate to allow us to support you in that.

We are grateful to have you here, and genuinely hope to hear from you soon!

Stay Safe,

Sophie M.

 

Hi FightingForSanity

I feel so incredibly deeply for you, with you having battled for so long throughout what has become a thoroughly exhausting battle over time. Being a gal who's faced years in depression in the past and while managing to not return to it, I can relate to the strength it takes to battle through what can feel soul destroying at times. Can involve so much hard work.

Interesting when it comes to the suggestion of high functioning autism. When I read your initial post and saw depression, anxiety and OCD, the first thing that popped into my head was 'These are the top 3 mental health challenges for many on the autism spectrum'. When I read your boss had suggested high functioning autism, I began to really wonder.

What led me to do a lot of research on the AS (Autism Spectrum) involved a loose diagnosis for my almost 17yo son. Having initially taken him for a psychologist's assessment of possible ADHD, at my son's insistence (based on him not wanting to continue struggling academically), she assessed him as not facing the challenges of ADHD but more so the challenges of high functioning autism. The reason for the lack of official diagnosis is based on me not having a spare 2 grand for another assessment. While he faces some challenges with OCD, the reason the challenges of anxiety and depression aren't big at this point is because I'm hell bent on doing whatever it takes for him to manage life without having to face anxiety and depression, based on my own experience. So much for us lately is about researching what is potentially depressing, stressful and triggering and then making sense of how to manage. In other words, it's about him better understanding how he ticks through his strengths and challenges.

Came across a brilliant AS researcher and lecturer named Jac Den Houting, who manages autism themself. As Den Houting points out, the current world can be a highly triggering, stressful and depressing place for people on the spectrum. The current world is not well designed for those who possess certain abilities while being misunderstood (such as with the ability to feel sound/noise). Greater self understanding and managing strategically become key.

While I'm not big on labels (as they can have a down side), they can help point us in the right direction while partly explaining how we tick and why we struggle. A label can act as a clue. Perhaps your boss has given you a groundbreaking clue which could help explain a lot. What do you think?