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Forums / Young people / Autism and the Internet never mix

Topic: Autism and the Internet never mix

12 posts, 0 answered
  1. AheadMatthewawsome
    AheadMatthewawsome avatar
    19 posts
    13 June 2020
    I have no problem with having Autism, I always say If there was ever a cure for Autism, I would not even consider it! It would change me too much, I am happy who I am. I am happy having Autism. Expect, when you are on the Internet.
    It all started on September 14th, 2016 when I was only 10. That was when the cyber bullying started. It has never stopped since, It is one of my biggest regrets joining ROBLOX.
    It started with the occasional troll that would say some mean stuff, but as I was 10, I could not handle it! But I made it. But that changed when I joined a communist military group on ROBLOX called the Imperial Robloxian Federation. I joined so I could play other roles in another game I played called Papers Please.
    There was some who we will call Doctor Henry, who was abnormal of bullying, and would abuse his power on me. It made me loss lots of confidence, and I joined and left multiple times within 2017. It became more serious when I joined Discord in December 2017. Where there was more severe cyber bullying to the point that I have never seen!
    Then it ended on the first week of March 2018 when I had my own fan club. With immense pressure I was forced to create a NSFW section. No big deal, they just put in some non christian stuff there like swearing, no big deal. That is what I thought. I did know it was for over 18's, so I tried for other people to take care of it, which they did not. I also had to test it. I thought that Hentai was just for swearing, not for porn with animation! I did not know that it was porn. I was shocked for life what I saw. I had to deal with that for a week, and my parents kicked me out. This same thing happened every few months on British Zulu Army, Stepford County Railway, Australia by Tony, and more! This just kept repeating itself, and it has never stopped. Now they know my last name, my old school, and almost everything except my address.
    Now for people who say Why did you not do anything about it?. At the beginning, I did not know how to report on Discord, nor take photo's of the bullying. Why did you not report it to the Police?, I did. I ran away from home to go to my local police station, but they told me to leave. It was good for only a little while. WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING ANYTHING? I did report it to Discord and ROBLOX multiple times. ROBLOX ignored me and told me to report it again. Discord told me to do it the proper way, but that would make me too upset. I am also banned from talking about it. HELP ME
    1 person found this helpful
  2. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6151 posts
    13 June 2020 in reply to AheadMatthewawsome
    Hey AheadMathewawsome, thanks for sharing your journey with us here on the forums. We're so sorry to hear of your experiences with bullying on the internet. It sounds like it was a really overwhelming and frustrating experience for you. Please know that you don't have to go through this alone, there is help available to you.

    We would strongly recommend that you get in touch with Kids Helpline - https://kidshelpline.com.au/ 

    It sounds like you've been in a really tough situation and it might help to talk it out. Kids Helpline counsellors can be contacted 24/7 via telephone and also via webchat if you go through the website provided.

    Thanks again for reaching out as we know that it can be really difficult to do so. We hope that you find some comfort here in the words of wisdom and kindness that our community can offer. 
     
    1 person found this helpful
  3. eight
    eight avatar
    374 posts
    13 June 2020 in reply to AheadMatthewawsome

    tbh id be Very Suspicious of adults trying to push a 12 year old (you were ten in 2016) to make a place in his own server for them to post porn. you say you expected it was for swearing and "non-christian stuff"? that just screams to me taking advantage of a kid not knowing what hentai is. i wouldn't blame you the internet thrives on minors who don't know the signs of predators or don't know about sex. its not even an autism thing id be seething if it happened to any other neurotypical tween

    even if i feel incredibly vindicated by the police just telling you to leave when you're reporting cyberbullying and abuse you could try calling your local police department - search up police department [your postcode] number or something to that effect and see how that works out. i do know lots of corps have that legal bureaucratic tape and filing the report and proving it was real is extremely painstaking when you have to relive the bullying. esafety.gov.au have parts about filing complaints of abuse and need screenshots and thats again another problem if as you said you didnt have any screenshots or knew what was going on and only have anecdote

    1 person found this helpful
  4. AheadMatthewawsome
    AheadMatthewawsome avatar
    19 posts
    14 June 2020 in reply to eight
    I did not have enough characters to fully explain it. I was only 11 when this happened in 2017, now I am 13.
    Back in 2016, I did not know how to take screenshots or report them to Discord. But in 2019, similar people were doing the same thing, lets call these people The Rain Gang. I took photo's, as they were making fun of my school, pretending that my head was free real estate, and "pretend porn". Even some made his own server and invited my join it. I saw all the warning signs that it was porn, took photo's, and left. After that, I went and reported it to Discord, but then they told me that they do not accept screenshots, and told me to go back and get ALL of the messages ID's. That would of taken hours, maybe even days to do. And would of risked my mental heath having to back to all of those messages. I then made a complaint to the E Safety Commission. It took one month for them to reply, and I was in fear all Christmas of what they were going to do. Then they told me they had no relationship with Discord (which is a multi billion dollar company). So they could do nothing about it. Now I am stuck, and every bully I had, online or not since 2016 has gotten away, and some have even been rewarded for it! I am also risking myself because my doctors and parents have banned me from speaking out publicly about bullying because they think I will get targeted for speaking out about it. This is why I need help. While in the middle of being cyberbullied, I ran away from home, took the train to the police station. My parents were there, and they told me very sternly to leave the internet, leave Discord, leave ROBLOX. It only worked for a little while.
    1 person found this helpful
  5. AheadMatthewawsome
    AheadMatthewawsome avatar
    19 posts
    16 October 2020

    It's now been one year since I left Discord and ROBLOX. The investigation that happened is now over and nothing has changed. Everyone got away with what they did. The Police have not intervened in it either. The Rain Gang still bother me to this day on YouTube. And I always fear that they will find me in public and intervene in my private life. I'm also worried that other kids like me have found these guys and that they still do the same thing as they did to me.

    I still have flashbacks whenever I see somebody nude other than me, or if I see a drawing of private parts to this day. I also get Mental Episodes to this day about them when I go out. And it has slowed down what I can do in life now. I also am worried because whenever somebody searches me online, they find this forum. So those bullies might actually be reading this.

    If that is you. I hope that you, reading this now understand what your words and actions can do to the people you target. And I hope that you are now able to be more mature and do better in life. I can only forgive you if you can do that.

    I also believe that most Moderators online don't understand how important your job is. You don't just be a judge or be the police. You are a matter of life or death with the decisions that you do. As most kids when they are lucky to report it to you already have Suicidal thoughts and if you decide to keep it going. They can easily die under your watch.

    I'm hoping that one day I will get to return to these sites in different community's, or my own. To make a difference and a change to all those who have been affected by bullying. Because reform is required to stop a pandemic of cyberbullying which has already started years ago.

    I am finding new ways to deal with bullying and other stressful situations as we speak. They are sometimes very hard, but I am trying my best to bypass those problems.

    Thank you so much for your help. But it's not over yet. And I still really need your help. As they say, "we may have lost the battle, but we will win the war"!

  6. AheadMatthewawsome
    AheadMatthewawsome avatar
    19 posts
    26 November 2020
    I'm starting to get really scared now because the same people who bullied me went onto my YouTube Channel to give me a link to a dating site which has porn! They've since deleted it. But this is getting really scary again! Please help me!
  7. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6151 posts
    26 November 2020 in reply to AheadMatthewawsome
    Hey AheadMatthewawsome,

    Thanks for reaching out here and keeping the community updated on how you've been going. We're so sorry to hear how scared and worried you're feeling right now, but please know that there's always somewhere to turn to and someone to talk to when you're feeling this low. We think it would really help to be able to talk through these feelings and concerns with our friends at Kids Helpline- who are there for you 24/7 whenever things are feeling overwhelming. The friendly counsellors are there to offer as much support and advice as you need, anytime on 1800 55 1800 or also through online chat if you'd feel more comfortable talking to them online: https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling We’d also welcome you to reach out to our kind Support Service, which is available 24/7 by phone on 1300 22 4636 or on Webchat 1pm-12am AEST on our website: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport.

    You never have to go through this alone, and please feel free to keep us updated here on your thread with what you are feeling and experiencing whenever you feel up to it. Our community are here for you, and we hope that you can find some comfort in their words of wisdom and support.
     
    1 person found this helpful
  8. Emmen
    Champion Alumni
    • Community champion volunteers who are not currently active on the forums.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    Emmen avatar
    388 posts
    26 November 2020 in reply to AheadMatthewawsome

    Hello AheadMatthewawsome,

    I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm disgusted with the people who are trying to take advantage of you and bullying you. The internet can be a terrible place and unfortunately, you've had the face the worst of it.

    I wonder if for the sake of your mental health, you'd be willing to take a break from the internet? Do you think that could help you? I would suggest trying to spend you time on pursuits that don't require your participation online, to distract yourself from that other, horrible problem.

    I'd also report those users to YouTube - even if YouTube does not do anything, you have done your part in raising the issue with them.

    Lastly, please speak to the counsellors at Kids Helpline. You've been traumatized by what has happened and you don't deserve to live in fear. Speaking about this to a person may help you better understand what you can do in this circumstances and heal from this incident.

    Kindly,
    M

    1 person found this helpful
  9. AheadMatthewawsome
    AheadMatthewawsome avatar
    19 posts
    13 March 2021 in reply to Emmen

    Well, a few weeks ago. I was at the Station, at around 4pm. And when I was going up the escalators. I heard this faint. "Hello, Matthew." I was startled, and looked at them. They then went and ran up the stairs, and trapped me at the top! They were making taunts and were becoming very aggressive! Then they went and ran to a train. It made me terrified because this is how these encounters would start in my nightmares! Then it would end... much... much... much... worse.

    And this isn't the only time this has happened! A week before then, I was made fun for having an awkward posture while riding a bike in public! And on the same day, the Transport NSW thought that my Disability was silly when I rang them after 8 buses skipped me in a row! And when I was missing, it took people over a month to ask "Are you okay?"! They even made a holiday and a huge campaign of those 3 words! And way more happened on 'Everybody Hates Matthew Day'

    And on the next day, I had to go to the Hospital for Mental Heath reasons. And they put me in a ward that was causing me Panic Attacks! All that they were doing was being on their Social Media! And they refused to give me anything to eat, drink, take off my mask, or sleep! And I wouldn't get help until the next day! I will probably never go to the Hospital after that!

    Last week, I got an amazing opportunity to be the last person to call the announcements on a C Set before they get scrapped. And when I did it, I felt free! Helping others made me feel so good! But when you try to do it on a normal service. They all hate you and shut you down. Doing this makes me feel happy. I'm worried if I keep doing it on a Charter Train. That people will think that it's too old and that it will be the same as a normal service.

    I'm really scared that because of these people stopping me from doing the things that I want to do in life. That I will fail in life. I want to become Speaker Of The House, Work On The Railways, Do Architecture, and Do Business That Helps Us All. But everyday, the fog grows larger to find that goal in life. It reminds me a lot about what my Drama Teacher was talking about me on a documentary about my old School. Look up A Curious Mind Attitude if you want to find out about what she says.

    The Bullies have won, I have lost. And we all have to live through the consequences.

  10. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6151 posts
    13 March 2021 in reply to AheadMatthewawsome
    Hey AheadMatthewawsome,

    We are so glad that you decided to reach back out to your friends on the forums, and keep us updated on how you've been going. It sounds like you've been through so much since your last post here and we're so sorry to hear about these upsetting experiences that you've had at the train station and at the hospital. It sounds like you have a really big passion for helping others, and some big and exciting goals for the future. However it also sounds like there is a lot of fear and concern around achieveing this, and feeling able to do the things that you love in life. You've already shown so much courage and strength in reaching out here, and being able to express your true thoughts and feelings, and please know that our caring community are all here to offer as much advice and support as you need through this. We are also trying to get in touch with you through email to check in and offer some extra support.

    We also really hope that you keep reaching out for support from the kind counsellors at our Beyond Blue Support Service (1300 22 4636) or our friends at Lifeline (13 11 14) or the Suicide Call Back Service (1300 659 467). They're always available to you during difficult times like these, and can also help with further advice and referrals for further support if this is something that you may find beneficial. We think it might also be really helpful to reach out to the understanding counsellors at Kids Helpline, who are also available 24/7 on 1800 55 1800 and also have online chat at: https://kidshelpline.com.au/get-help/webchat-counselling 

    Please keep checking back in and let us know how you feeling, whenever you feel ready to- our community are always here for you.  
    1 person found this helpful
  11. eight
    eight avatar
    374 posts
    14 March 2021 in reply to AheadMatthewawsome

    despite how much places seem to love harping on about how much they care about mental health and disability its still so very real how clearly they think disability is a joke. ive been losing so much of my faith in official bodies or organisations everyone seems to hold in such high regard. like i wrote on this thread june 13th i didn't believe or trust in police to deal with bullying or abuse. literally wednesday i had a run-in with the cops trying to report an act of abuse like how everyone is instructed to do and i never stood by that belief harder than that night. i can still remember the "punishment swiftly follows crime sign". i remember it and i see red.

    steph tisdell (ydinji aboriginal comedienne) and the chaser (satire group) did a skit about "symbolic gesture day" last year that was about anti-racism but holy hell is september 12th the closest you can get to a mental health symbolic gesture day. i can imagine it exactly in my head. "mental health symbolic gesture day has completely changed my life... [points to yellow cupcakes] .... and my baking!"

    1 person found this helpful
  12. AheadMatthewawsome
    AheadMatthewawsome avatar
    19 posts
    14 March 2021 in reply to eight

    That actually happened to me about 2 years ago! At my local police station, I ran away from home to report cyberbullying. There was someone who went and pretended to be me. And he went and sparked out racist, pornograghic, and other horrible stuff that I would never even knew existed! They all thought it was me and tried to report it to the Police themselves!

    So I went to the Police Station, and even after Mummy came to help. They refused to do anything and just asked me to leave them. And also forced me to talk about some traumatic stuff. LEAVE?! REALLY??? FLIPPING LEAVE?! You got to do something. And technically, all the bullies got away. Not just the cyberbullies.

    And I used to go to that Police Station with my Grandmother very often when I was little to make sure that if something happened. I would be with people who were my friends, and that I trusted. Something clearly changed between that 7 year gap...

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