Hey everyone, this is my first post on beyondblue and I’m hoping this is the right category for me to post it in.
Basically, the past 2 years I’ve developed a habit of lying a lot towards my girlfriend and hiding things, mostly out of shame of what I’ve done, or I’ve been scared to face the consequences because I don’t know how she will react and what would happen to our relationship. Me and my girlfriend have been dating for two years, since early 2019, on and off multiple times, and during this time I have lied a lot, and my actions and my lies have caused a lot of strain on her mental health and well-being and also our relationship in general. When we first started dating, the first month things were mostly fine but the night before our first break up, whilst she was at work I ended up cheating on her by txxxting and sending certain pictures to a female friend of mine, after it happened I felt horrible but I was too scared to tell her which looking back, I feel like a coward for. The morning after me and her broke up, mostly due to my guilt of what I had done and I wanted to just run away from what I did rather than face it.
After we had broken up, I had gone and spent time with other new female friends (4 to be exact) and during that time me and my girlfriend (ex during this time) were also talking but as friends, and I ended up giving my ex a coldsore, I had no idea I was even carrying the herpes virus and I had even got tested after she got her coldsore and my tests came back negative. Anyways all of this led her to question me about my activities during our break up, and at first I only told her about one of the girls but hid the rest, and continued to see 1 of them during the rest of the break up.
Eventually me and my ex got back together, and during this time I still hadn’t told her i cheated or about 3 of the other girls i spent time with during the break up, and i even kept one of them as a friend, at some point during our second stint at the relationship I ended up telling her about what I had done and that absolutely crushed her, which also led to our second break up and during that time, I saw a new female friend but instead of hiding it this time, i did tell my girl/ex about what happened. i’m running out of words to use but basically i would continue to lie a bit more and txxxt other girls, one being her best friend. during our break ups, but as time went on i would eventually tell her the truth more and more. part 2 will be in replies