I don't want to, but I feel like dropping out is my only option.

I'm more than halfway through year 11 and really struggling with depression/anxiety. It has really impacted my school life and motivation. I have sought help from school resources (counsellors/tutors), as well as doctors. The school has become more frustrated with me, as I have been failing to turn in assignments and attend school all together. I discussed options with the deputy and they kept bringing up pathways (as explained, would take 5 years to complete), repeating yr 11, TAFE as well as other alternatives to getting to Uni.

The thing is, I don't have a problem directly tied to school. I've always loved it. There's just been a lot going on in my personal life that makes coping in general very difficult. Which is why my doctors recommended against these options, as I would be deprived of social interaction and mile stones that mean a lot to me (such as graduating with my friends)-missing out would possibly making my mental health status worse. There was no in between. So I kept going to school, attending even when I was sick, not sleeping, and over all not mentally okay. Because I needed my attendance up. I was told to "just show up and turn things in, even if they aren't 'good' year 11 isn't important."

I've really been trying.

My trying is getting out of bed and stepping into that school, that takes all my effort.

I try not to have panic attacks in class.

I feel like my try is not good enough to them though.

I called in sick again today because I've been constantly breaking down over this. My parents said they copped a lot of heat for calling in since I've taken too many days off, the school said I should consider dropping out. Maybe I'm close minded and should embrace other options, it just seems like I'm always back to square one. I want to give up. But at the same time I don't. I really want to go to formal and graduate with my friends and have a send off to Uni. I don't know if my dreams are more important than my mental health though.

I need some advice. Thanks for reading this long essay.

Hi t.mad,

Wellcome to our forums!

So sorry you have been feeling this way…..

It isn’t your fault that anxiety and depression are impacting you, your not alone…….

Welldone for seeing your school councillor and doctors..

Have you been able to see a psychologist? A psychologist can give you many coping strategies for anxiety…….

here to chat

It's sad that your school places its own interests above yours by suggesting you drop out - keeping up their own 'outstanding' image must come at a price, huh? Don't do it - even if just to spite them!

In fairness though, they can't do much for you if you're not there (and I think there might something in the fine print that can forfeit your entitlements with too many truancies).

I agree that maintaining connection with peers has more value (there is some competitive edge that can drive you also) than quitting the year or permanently dropping out. Have you considered calling in tutors to get you back up to speed as it must be difficult always playing catch up? Personally, I feel that years 11 and 12 are poorly placed for the age group - there is just too much else going on.

There’s a book that changed my view on school and the education system.

It’s called ‘Beautiful Failures’. Recommend you check it out :D

Lots of love