I'd like to welcome you here and at the same time say I regret the time it has taken for you to get another post back. Please be assured it is not you or the subject of your post, simply the system does not work as well as we would like
I'm glad you met Sophie_M, she gives good advice.
Now for those thoughts and wondering about yourself. Frankly if you were actually committing violence, drinking lots of alcohol and things like that I'd be very worried about you.
However that is not the case, and I'm not worried at all. So OK at the moment you like talking about them.
That's fine. I think there are very few young people (and not so young too) who are in the process of becoming adults who do not talk about all sorts of subjects, everything from sex to going out dining in fancy restaurants all dressed up to fast cars. You name it, it's been thought of and talked about. It can all be very exciting.
It does not mean these things are you, just you want to talk about them for now. It also does not mean you are trying to become a person like that . In fact people do not try to become a certain way, they just grow naturally into themselves over time.
When you think about it your choice of subjects is not that surprising. There are an awful lot of movies and streaming TV programs out there that use these subjects all the time exactly becuse they are exciting to watch (not experiencing them oneself of course) -so enjoying talking about them is natural.
The fact you are worried you might become like those things you have been talking about shows your basic nice nature, you are maturing into a pretty good person.
And yes it is confusing in the process, I found that too. I'm afraid I was rather boastful and said I'd done glamours things I'd not, and generally talked about a place in the world very different from mine.
It sorted out OK. I know who I am and that came about just by living.
If you find you are repeatedly troubled by this thinking and talking please do as Sophie Suggests and call or web-chat the Kid's Help Line., they are pretty sensible and understanding.
You are welcome to talk more here anythime