I'm really sorry to hear all of that. You don't deserve any of what you've been through, nobody here does.
It's a shame that your family is dysfunctional, I wish I could help you more. I'm sorry you and your sister talk about SH and suicide, I wish I could offer more support, and that your brother has Dyslexia and Autism.
Please know that I do care for you, and I'm here, I'll try my best to support you even if I can't find the words and I can't help much.
You're loved, and you're cared for. You deserve to be here, not SH and end your life. We care about you, you're safe here. We want you to be safe and seek support.
Trust me, I know how hard it is having suicidal and SH thoughts, I really do, because I have them pretty much daily.
And your rants aren't stupid, that's what BB Forums are for, you're just seeking support and that's perfectly ok, it's actually very brave, so good on you for joining and sharing your story.
I'm proud of you, your sister and brother for still being here.