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Forums / Young people / i dont know whats my purpose

Topic: i dont know whats my purpose

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. Lachlan.h
    Lachlan.h avatar
    1 posts
    1 November 2020
    hello, this is my first post. Recently i have been feeling very depressed. I have this mindset in my head telling me 'im a fat, no life, pathetic loser'. I dont have any friends in school and no girls like me. I have no one to talk to but myself and on the weekends i always find myself sitting alone in my room, i look at my phone and see that everyone is having so much fun with their friends. I have no purpose and a waste of space
  2. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    4647 posts
    1 November 2020 in reply to Lachlan.h
    Hey Lachlan.h,

    Welcome to our wonderful forums. We are so glad you have taken the first step in connecting here and sharing what you have been experiencing. It takes a lot of courage to reach out and we are proud of you. We are so sorry you have been feeling depressed and alone recently. It can be very painful to feel like the one on the outside. Please know that you are in a safe, non-judgmental space where our wonderful community members can provide their support and advice. We are also getting in touch with you privately to see how you are doing.

    You are definitely not alone and we are here for you. There is always support and assistance available. If you'd like to talk these feelings through, please contact us anytime on 1300 22 4636 or get in touch with us on Webchat  3pm-12am AEST here: www.beyondblue.org.au/getsupport  

    You're also always welcome to reach out to our friends at Kids Helpline who are available to you 24/7 on 1800 55 1800 or through online chat at https://kidshelpline.com.au/ One of the friendly counsellors will be able to talk through these feelings and experiences with you and can offer some great support as well as advice and referrals to help you through this.

    You may also want to check out resources available on our website. Here is a resource on Anxiety and Depression in Young People as an example: https://resources.beyondblue.org.au/prism/file?token=BL/1060

    Please remember that you are a worthy, valuable person who deserves support and kindness.
  3. therising
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    therising avatar
    1722 posts
    1 November 2020 in reply to Lachlan.h

    Hi Lachlan

    I really feel for you so much as you wonder about your purpose in life and the way forward.

    I know it might feel hard to relate when I say I believe you're wonderful. For a start, you're wondering about your purpose, which not a lot of people do, when you think about it. Many just go through life, schooling or working, without asking the deeper questions. While some are focused on 'What phone will I buy?' or 'How can I look more beautiful/handsome?', you are wondering about so much more. 'Why am I here?' is often a question that goes with such wonder.

    I've found that the people who ask that question are the people who I personally vibe best with. At times, we can be looking to the 'wrong' people or environment to give us a sense of purpose. We may never find our purpose under such conditions. Looking to the people or environment that raises us to higher levels of consciousness and energy is the way to go. Looking for the 'right' people becomes the true challenge.

    Making sense of the words that come to mind is testing. To say 'I'm fat' is not true. If you were fat, you'd be a big pile of mush with no bones or muscle etc. To say 'I am carrying a lot of unhealthy fat', can lead us to identify our self as 'I am someone who will endeavor to carry only healthy fat in my body'. How we manage to get to that point does require management and a goal.

    'No life' can be felt through a lack of excitement. What naturally excites you? If you can't think of anything, don't worry. Sometimes it takes a lot of trial and error to find what truly excites us. What naturally excites us is typically where we'll find the people we vibe best with. For example, if drawing or illustrating excites us, we can vibe high with a group of inspirational fellow illustrators. A lot of creativity and imagination in such a circle.

    'I'm a loser' is an interesting phrase, one we rarely truly consider the meaning of. For example, in order to 'fit in', do I feel like I am losing my natural sense of self? In not seeking excitement, am I losing my natural excitable self? By people not leading me to wonder more, am I losing my natural wonderful self? Or, am I losing hope because I surrounded by people who don't know how to raise me effectively? Basically, if I'm a loser, I must be losing something.

    If we're feeling like 'a waste of space', it's often because no one has led us to the understanding of how to fill it. This lack of guidance is a fault in others, not us.

    Hope you return :)

  4. tranzcrybe
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    tranzcrybe avatar
    479 posts
    1 November 2020 in reply to Lachlan.h

    Hi Lachlan,

    Thanks for posting on the forums and I wish you a warm welcome to Beyond Blue.

    Yes, I think those voices in your head are talking you out of many opportunities to engage and participate. It's nice when people are open and inviting as it can be easier to join in, but even if they don't seem that way at first, it's still up to you to make yourself known by being the friendly person who approaches them. Try not to seek their approval, but offer the value of your personality and abilities - what interests can you share, are you good with a joke or two, can you help someone who is struggling? Or just enjoy the company and what others are doing/saying - you don't have to perform to fit in.

    "i look at my phone and see that everyone is having so much fun with their friends" -
    looking? How about you join in the conversations, games, or whatever else is going on? You have as much to offer as anyone else only if you can speak up.

    Alternatively, delve into the things you like doing and let people know about it - others may have a shared interest and you can build your friendship base on that.

    Take the lead and be prepared to be amazed, Lachlan. Report back whenever you want to update your progress.

    Regards,

    t.

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