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Forums / Young people / I dont know who i am anymore

Topic: I dont know who i am anymore

  1. Unicorndogge
    Unicorndogge avatar
    129 posts
    30 January 2021
    I feel like just telling him how I feel. I am scared he won’t like it but I need to tell the truth. Because I won’t usually write a poem and do drawing for someone unless I really liked them. He won’t like this but it’s something I should do since I need to express myself and it’s like I am holding it in. He has a girlfriend already😓 but i still have these stuipd feelings
    1 person found this helpful
  2. mb20lover
    mb20lover avatar
    3350 posts
    30 January 2021 in reply to Unicorndogge

    Hey Unicorndogge.

    I'm sure he does like you, if you're good friends then that says something! Your drawing is beautiful, trust me. Doesn't matter how long it took you to draw it, and it is impressive.

    I'd never hate you, and no one's lying to you, I'm not and I'm sure he isn't either.

    You can tell him how you feel if you feel comfortable, he may have feelings for you too, that would be cute.

    Oh that's a shame he has a girlfriend, I guess you could still say you have feelings for him to get it off your chest.

  3. Tay100
    Champion Alumni
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    Tay100 avatar
    648 posts
    30 January 2021 in reply to Unicorndogge

    Hi Unicorndogge

    I'm sorry to hear that you are having a rough time over this guy- he sounds like he means a lot to you and it's sad when we can't be with them, whatever way that may be! Have you had anyone in your life who's gone through a similar thing? Maybe you could talk with them? Or even with him, if that would give you some kind of release? It may help provide a catalyst for you moving foward.

    Tay100

  4. Unicorndogge
    Unicorndogge avatar
    129 posts
    30 January 2021 in reply to mb20lover

    Hi mblover

    I told him😭 and he said it was okay and he still wants to be friends. It went better then i fought but i am still so upset after all he lives so far away and has girlfriend.😭 maybe its because i am not used to someone being so nice to me like no one has kept talking to me for almost 10 months whether in person or online. He is the only person. I guess now he knows i love him😓 but still i feel like a failure

    1 person found this helpful
  5. Unicorndogge
    Unicorndogge avatar
    129 posts
    30 January 2021 in reply to Tay100

    Hey tay

    I dont think i can talk to him for a while these feelings wont go away unless i give space. 😭 he knows now so at least thats a reason

    1 person found this helpful
  6. mb20lover
    mb20lover avatar
    3350 posts
    30 January 2021 in reply to Unicorndogge

    Hey Unicorndogge, you can call me Tayla also since that's my name, if you wish.

    I'm sorry he has a girlfriend, but I'm proud of you for telling him how you feel, that would've taken a lot of courage and I commend you for it, well done. Don't feel bad, you got it off your chest and that's what you needed to do.

    You have me and everybody here, but I know it's different with this guy. You're not a failure at all, I promise you.

  7. Tay100
    Champion Alumni
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    648 posts
    1 February 2021 in reply to Unicorndogge

    Hi Unicorndogge

    It's good that you have made a decision, hopefully some healthy space will help you heal and improve your mood. How do you feel knowing that he knows how you feel about him? Do you think some distance will hopefully help you cope with that?

    Tay100

  8. Unicorndogge
    Unicorndogge avatar
    129 posts
    1 February 2021 in reply to mb20lover
    😭 i feel so alone, i sort of wish that he could love me back but that would be selfish. At least he wanted to be friends with me still. I am starting work on wed but i am nervous hopefully it will help😭
  9. Unicorndogge
    Unicorndogge avatar
    129 posts
    1 February 2021 in reply to Tay100

    Well i have decided to keep talking to him because after all he is my only friend😭

    I just wish he lived closer or something😓😭

  10. mb20lover
    mb20lover avatar
    3350 posts
    1 February 2021 in reply to Unicorndogge

    It's not selfish at all Unicorndogge. Good luck with your work on Wednesday.

    We're your friends here

  11. Tay100
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    2 February 2021 in reply to Unicorndogge

    Hi Unicorndogge

    That's fair enough- a good, logical solution that will hopefully benefit you both. If you enjoy each other's company, that's great. He lives far away, you say, so what sort of things do you like to when you do catch up?

  12. mb20lover
    mb20lover avatar
    3350 posts
    4 February 2021 in reply to Unicorndogge
    Hey Unicorndogge, I'm thinking of you. I hope you're ok and that work went well for you.
  13. Unicorndogge
    Unicorndogge avatar
    129 posts
    7 February 2021 in reply to mb20lover

    Hey mblover

    This job that i got is going to take some time to get used to, firstly i am out in the dining area i have to serve customers there food and clean up. The thing that freaks me out though is all the other people my age that work there and the fact that i saw two people i used to go to school with . Thats what made me even more anxious and the second day i went in crying because i was so nervous not because of what i was doing in the job but seeing someone who used to make fun at me at school. So i really didnt want to go back but i did.

    Now i am really anxious because my russian friend hasnt been talking to me for just about a week now even though he has seen my messages his not answering and its freaking me out. Did i say something wrong? Maybe the drawing i did for him wasnt good enough?

    I am so scared at everything at the moment😭

    1 person found this helpful
  14. Unicorndogge
    Unicorndogge avatar
    129 posts
    7 February 2021 in reply to Tay100

    Hey tay100

    No i have feelings for my russian penpal😓, i know its wrong but i cant help it and now his probably rejected me because i told him that i loved him😭 and he has a girlfriend but still i couldn't lie to myself anymore. I wish we lived closer so we could actually hang out.

  15. mb20lover
    mb20lover avatar
    3350 posts
    7 February 2021 in reply to Unicorndogge

    Hey Unicorndogge.

    I'm proud of you for getting a job, I hope it's going ok for you and you can take some breaks if you need to.

    I'm sorry you saw people your age and people you used to go to school with. I'm proud of you for going back.

    Hmm, maybe he's not sure what to say, or could be busy or needs space? I don't think he rejected you.

    I don't think you said something wrong, and your drawing is amazing, I'm sure he's flattered and appreciates it.

    Don't be scared, you're ok xx

  16. Tay100
    Champion Alumni
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    648 posts
    8 February 2021 in reply to Unicorndogge

    Hi Unicorndogge

    Ohh goodness, rejection after pouring your heart out to someone you like can be so painful. What are you doing to take care of yourself at the moment? Maybe you should put the penpal writing on hold for a bit while you heal?

  17. LonleyAngel
    LonleyAngel avatar
    3 posts
    11 February 2021
    I know this might be off-topic but I am really struggling to find who I am because sometimes I think I say things even if I don't mean them like I'm trying to be someone I'm not/ ANy suggestions on how to find who I am?
  18. Unicorndogge
    Unicorndogge avatar
    129 posts
    15 February 2021

    Hi everyone

    Well it looks like i just got rejected😭😭 i tried to be friends with someone from work and they said that we could only be work friends so 😭😭😭 how stuipd am i for trying to be friends with one of managers who wanted me to draw him a picture of a turtle. Honestly how many more people cant i be friends with is they any point to this.

  19. mb20lover
    mb20lover avatar
    3350 posts
    15 February 2021 in reply to Unicorndogge

    Hey Unicorndogge, nice to hear from you.

    I'm sorry to hear that. You're a great person and it's their loss, and the penpal guy's loss. You're not stupid at all, that's perfectly fine you want to be friends with someone. That's very rude of them that you can't be work friends. Is there a person above the manager you could explain that to? That's discrimination and I'm very sorry it happened.

    1 person found this helpful
  20. Unicorndogge
    Unicorndogge avatar
    129 posts
    15 February 2021 in reply to mb20lover

    Hi mblover

    I think you misheard me, i am still talking ro my penpal. The guy i was trying to be friends with works with me but he is becoming a manager so he said he cant be friends and that we can only be work friends and keep this professional. Thing is i already started drawing him a turtle that he wanted me to draw, i ask is that very professional? 😭

    1 person found this helpful
  21. mb20lover
    mb20lover avatar
    3350 posts
    15 February 2021 in reply to Unicorndogge
    Hey I know you're still talking to your penpal, sorry i didn't mean to confuse you. That's ridiculous, you can still be friends outside of work. No you're fine if you want to draw him something
  22. smallwolf
    Community Champion
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    smallwolf avatar
    4970 posts
    15 February 2021 in reply to Unicorndogge

    Hi Unicorndogge,

    working out relationships at work can be hard. In one of my jobs a person I am talking to may switch roles (friend / co worker / "other") very quickly and it hard for me to work out. So part of all this is my trying to figure out which role they are using and how to answer their questions, which can sometimes lead to me saying the wrong thing and then I feel bad. This easily happens when people changes professions or vocations.

    Also being friends when one person is a manager and other person is not can create problems - but you probably knew that already?

    Regarding that turtle... perhaps the drawing could morph into something else... the turtle swimming somewhere or something like that.

    Easy to say not to beat yourself up. Things like talking to people take practice - speaking for myself here and that takes time. I can also see some positives in some of your other posts. Like going back to work after you saw some people from your school and perhaps didnt want to. You have strengths and talents you might not notice yet.

    Until next time. Tim

  23. Unicorndogge
    Unicorndogge avatar
    129 posts
    16 February 2021 in reply to mb20lover

    Hi mblover

    No i cant be his friend only work friends as he said. I am just angry because he asked me to draw him a turtle and that isnt very professional is it? Then he goes on to say i not supposed to talk to any of the crew on social media but he is the one who added me on instagram. So i thought he wanted to be friends but instead this all mislead me.

  24. Unicorndogge
    Unicorndogge avatar
    129 posts
    16 February 2021 in reply to smallwolf

    Hi smallwolf

    What i dont get about this job is everyone talks to everyone and its not like i work in a office its McDonalds for crying out loud. I have worked there four days and so far i wouldn't say its a very professional job compared to dog grooming which is where i did work experience at. Its going to hard for as everyone talks to you like they want to be friends but with me your either friends or your not, there is no inbetween. I did tell the job agency i wouldnt be suited to a job like this but they didnt listen to me. So now i am stuck in a job where i have to be fake friends with everyone.

  25. smallwolf
    Community Champion
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    4970 posts
    16 February 2021 in reply to Unicorndogge

    Hi again,

    Fake friends... Can I ask what sort of job you were looking for? But it does suck when you say something to anyone and they appear to the not listen to anything you have said. This sometimes happens to me in a work environment. Perhaps this is a stepping stone to that job. I am looking at changing careers and to get to where I want I may have to do something else.

    I am also very good (sarcasm) when it comes to black and white thinking. For me it right or wrong, good or bad, 1 or 0, nothing in between. So when I saw your post about being a friend or not a friend or not I was wondering.... do you think this might apply to you?

    Let's say in the spectrum between not a friend and friend there can be a number of other types of relationships (in no particular order) -

    • acquaintance
    • only at work friend
    • work buddy (someone you work with more than others)

    In each case you know some things about the other person and will talk at work, or lunch etc, but there is little relationship out of work. That does not mean a friendship cannot develop. It's a bit like a walk over a bridge. To go from not being a friend to a friend (or better) you might a work buddy first or ??? Similarly there can be people at work you might not want to associate with after work.

  26. mb20lover
    mb20lover avatar
    3350 posts
    16 February 2021 in reply to Unicorndogge
    that's ridiculous, you're allowed to be friends with people outside of work Unicorndogge, I'm sorry.
  27. Unicorndogge
    Unicorndogge avatar
    129 posts
    27 February 2021
    Its my birthday and hurray i am all alone😖
  28. Ggrand
    Community Champion
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    Ggrand avatar
    8124 posts
    27 February 2021 in reply to Unicorndogge

    Dear Unicoerdogge...

    I am sorry that your alone on your birthday...

    I want to wish you a Happy Birthday and hope your doing okay....

    It is my birthday next week...like you I will be alone...It really makes our special day a sadder day then most other days we try to manage..Please Dear Unicorndogge Talk here if you feel up to it...We are here for you their in spirit....and here for you with our care....

    Sending you some birthday hugs 💚🦋🌹..with Kind wishes for you..

    Grandy..

    1 person found this helpful
  29. mb20lover
    mb20lover avatar
    3350 posts
    14 March 2021 in reply to Unicorndogge
    Hey Unicorndogge, I hope you're doing ok. Happy belated birthday, I'm sorry I missed it and I'm sorry you were alone.

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