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Forums / Young people / I feel lonely

Topic: I feel lonely

4 posts, 0 answered
  1. Animalplant1
    Animalplant1 avatar
    1 posts
    21 September 2020


    i’m 19 and i’m not really good at opening up when it comes to mental health. My experiences when reaching out have never gone very well. i think I just need a space to share because I feel isolated and alone.

    Most of my friends struggle with a mental illness making it hard for me to work through mine and reach out to them, when i’m trying to be there for them. It makes me feel exhausted and I just feel tired, it makes me feel like a bad friend. Some days I don’t eat and and I really struggle with my image as when I was 13 I was diagnosed with severe scoliosis.

    Romantic relationships don’t last very long, so some days I just feel unwanted and over a month ago I got in to argument with two of my closest friends and we haven’t talked since. Making me feel unwanted and unloved.

    I feel like something is wrong with me since I can’t keep people around. It feels incredible lonely and i’m Terrified to reach out to my family as they see me as their happy daughter

    i just needed a place to talk and I don’t want to feel alone anymore

  2. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    6119 posts
    22 September 2020 in reply to Animalplant1
    Hi Animalplant1,

    Welcome! We understand it can be hard to open up, so thank you for having the courage to do so here tonight. We're so sorry to hear that you are struggling at the moment and not getting the support you need from friends. Feeling lonely is really tough. This is a safe, non-judgemental space for you to share.

    Please know that there is always support available to you. You are always welcome to get in touch with Kids Help Line. They are a confidential and anonymous, telephone and online counselling service specifically for young people aged 25 and under.

    If you are interested, we would also recommend getting in touch with an organisation called Headspace. Headspace is an organisation specifically for young people aged 12-25 and they offer a wide range of services including group programs which are a great opportunity to meet people. They also have a group chat on their webpage.

    Please feel free to reach out here on your thread and keep us updated on what you're feeling and experiencing whenever you feel up to it.

  3. Croix
    Community Champion
    • Outstanding members who have volunteered their time to support others here on the forums
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    Croix avatar
    10537 posts
    2 November 2020 in reply to Animalplant1
    Dear Animalplant1~

    The first thing to say is I regret it has taken so long for you to receive a reply, other that Sophie_M, who was on the ball. In this place your will be listened to and most will relate, May I ask waht MH condition you are struggling with?

    Please let me emphasize the wait it is nothing to do with you personally, or the subject of your post, simply the system acting up

    I doubt very much if it is any fault of yours that your relationships, and those of the people around you, run into difficulties. You are a caring soul and it sounds as if the needs of your freinds and their mental health problems have needed your support, a kind and giving act.

    The only trouble is nobody is a bottomless well of strength, care and support - you are a human being, and that means you have limitations and have probably reached too far intro your own reserves, leaving you with less ability to cope than you need.

    Not eating is no answer, we both know that , and will make matters worse. I know you have scoliosis and really hope that first it is not too bad, and secondly it is the type which lessens as one grows and matures. Healthy diet , good sleep and exercise would seem a good way to go, apart from anything else it tends to lessen anxiety of all sorts.

    I realize the very idea of it may look upon yourself with disfavor, however I suspect this is you, and those around you may not feel the same, if in fact they even notice.

    With your freinds can I suggest you approach them and say how you miss their friendship? Hopefully the basis of the argument can be settled quickly and then forgotten. Would you mind saying what it was all about?

    Romantic relationships are another matter, for them to be more than a few dates and then forgotten there are basically a couple of common reasons to remaining together. Sex -obviously- is one, but an unequal one that does not always leave the giver with much self esteem.

    The only way that really counts can include sex, but is based upon enjoying and having fun being with the other person, caring about them, trusting them and having those feelings returned.

    It does not happen often. In a long life I've only ever found two I wanted to share my life with, and fortunately for me they have felt the same way.

    I had girlfriends from school, but they never seemed to click, and were only partially interested, nothing lasted

    Loving parents need to see the real condition of their children -how else can they help?

    Are yours loving?


  4. therising
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    therising avatar
    2300 posts
    2 November 2020 in reply to Animalplant1

    Hi Animalplant1

    I feel for you so much, in these overwhelming challenges you're facing. I'm hoping I can make a positive difference in regard to the way you see your self.

    You sound like a uniquely sensitive person. From personal experience, I've found being sensitive can be a bit of a Yin and Yang thing; there can be both an enlightening or bright side and a dark side. Wondering if you can relate

    • While your sensitivity is what gives you the natural ability to raise people when they're down, people can exhaust you, especially when you give too much of yourself
    • While your sensitivity is what gives you the natural ability to feel love, feel excitement, feel peace and so on, it also gives you the ability to feel sadness and the impact of degradation. With physical emotion generating feelings, we can literally feel the impact of thoughts and others' behaviour in our body. What does being down feel like? What does being raised or inspired feel like? Interesting, just yesterday my 18yo daughter told me that she met up with a group of people the other day and one of those people left her with a horrible feeling she couldn't explain. She never spoke to him and doesn't know him yet this feeling was almost sickening. You can't help but wonder. I encourage my kids to trust their instincts
    • While you can be very sensitive to the need for change, making no difference can be potentially depressing. To be stuck in 'sameness' can definitely have an impact, when our deep desire is to evolve beyond what brings us down
    • You're able to naturally spot a fellow sensitive person. There's a natural resonance. The down side of being this sensitive can involve you picking up on the 'vibe' of not so nice people. People can literally make us feel uncomfortable or even sick. That saying 'I'm sick of you' could be translated to 'I'm sick because of you/you're behaviour' (stressed, nauseated, depressed etc). Managing our self and the people around us is important. Figuring out who you can't tolerate being around is very important

    Again, from personal experience, I've learned it is possible to find yourself surrounded by insensitive people. That question that can often come with depression, 'What's wrong with me?' can sometimes involve the answer 'No one around me is sensitive enough to raise me in the ways that make a significant difference'. Typically, we feel when someone's made a difference. Watch out for that feeling.

    Here is filled with sensitive folk. I'm glad you dropped in.


    1 person found this helpful

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