Hi all,

I don't really know what help I need right now, but I want to write this down to get it out of my head.

I'm a university student and just finished my second year. I've always been a good student, getting good grades. But I hate the uni student lifestyle, and the party lifestyle, and desperately want to start doing something where I feel useful and satisfied.

I enjoyed manual arts in school, topped one of the classes in my final year and was on good terms with all the teachers in the department. I was well ahead in the course content and was one of the students they would go to for side projects and help with errands. I want to feel useful like that again, but any opportunities in university assume knowledge or people skills, and I have zero confidence in my ability to find even a basic job.

On the other side of it, I have the skills and ability to be a good student and get myself into university to study science, and don't feel like I can ask for or make good use of any support programs for mental health/entering the workforce (Asperger's, anxiety and depression, can't remember which psychologists diagnosed what or how many years ago. Long story). In other words, I have 'potential' and people assume that I'm doing well.

I managed to ask for one job at a small bike store (friendly people, technical work and I rely on a bike to get everywhere myself), was told they're full up and to leave a resume. And that's... wonderful, but I feel crushed even though that interaction went well. I feel like a failure. I feel like I'm slipping through the cracks, and I feel really alone.

Hi Eddie,

Thank you for sharing your story. You sound like you have heaps of potential. But don’t get stressed over other people’s expectations, set your own goals and expectations in order to become happier and more productive. You just need to find the right support for yourself to get started in the workforce. Try free counselling at your university and your university may also help you find a job and improve your social skills. Don’t give up on looking for a job and just keep trying.

Hey Eddie,

I totally understand the stress you're under. I've just finished up my third year of uni and I lost my job about two months ago. I have been spending a couple of hours a day searching and researching online job boards and local job groups. I finally got a trial offer just the other day after being rejected so many times from what I thought were really simple jobs. I felt like after three years of university, getting good results in both science and humanities subjects that I would be qualified or at least capable of work.

The only advice I can really give is to just keep looking and keep applying. A lot of the online job search websites let you quickly apply for jobs. Have a basic resume ready and change it slightly for each job to make sure you're answering their selection criteria. If you use the same key words that is a good place to start.

Since you're doing really well at uni and already doing some extra tasks, you should also ask around at your university. Talk to your favourite lecturers and ask them if they are doing any projects that you could intern on or assist with. You should also look into tutor selection for when uni starts again next year. As you'll be a third year with good results you'll be able to apply to be a tutor in a first or second year course. At my uni, these jobs pay really well too which is a nice bonus.

Honestly, the fact that you were able to walk into a store and ask for a job is really impressive! I am really shy so I wasn't able to do that at all during my job search and did it all online - even though a lot of the advice I got was to hand my resume in in person. Getting rejected really sucks. I got so many rejection messages while I searched (and sometimes never even got a response back).

Good luck with it all. If you stick with it, you will get a job eventually. Even though the search will suck - a lot. And a lot of people ask for help with the job search, don't feel like you don't deserve that same support for any reason! I hope you get a job that you really enjoy at the end of it.

~I

Hi Luna,

Thanks for your reply, sorry I haven't been active for a while.

I think your advice on setting goals and expectations is what I need to deal with - On top of university, I've been learning to cook and shop for myself and try to make friends in a new place. After 2 years, I'm only just getting the hang of it. After applying for that one job and thinking allot about it, I don't think it's something I can balance right now (even over the summer, I'm still studying so I can stay productive and have a reason to stay in the city). And... as long as I'm still working on developing myself at uni and life skills, I guess that's OK. For the time being.

I've been seeing a psychologist through the uni for a while, but they're booked up allot of the time and... not an easy one to talk to. I might be seeing a GP there and see if I can get referred elsewhere for ongoing support, or see if medication is a discussion I need to bring up again.

- Eddie

Hi Innocuous,

As mentioned by Luna, I think allot of the problem is the expectations I'm putting on myself. I'm still studying over the summer semester and have to take care of myself, living away from family.

I don't think I'd be keen at tutoring, but I appreciate the suggestion. I've managed to help some friends in classes, but then others have been a nightmare when they just want answers and don't watch any of the lectures. There are also Residential Advisor positions on college, but I feel like I'd be ill-suited to that seeing as I'm one of the quieter shut-in people here. It's just a place to live, and the lifestyle is exhausting.

I do have one lecturer who's now doing research for a while - They don't have much space for students to help, but it might be worth asking again in case they need anything basic done, or if I could shadow them and learn a bit. Other than that, I'm considering applying to volunteer at the local RSPCA for one shift a week so I can get used to a 'work environment' a bit more.

I am impressed with the fact I was able to walk in and practice cold-calling, I guess. It was allot of self-talk and mindfulness before hand, and trying to accept that it's most likely going to be a 'no' but still worth asking. Hopefully that experience is handy when I'm finishing study and do need to prioritize a real job search.

- Eddie