Dear H-c~
When I read your posts I see how I have been. You said you did not know waht is wrong with you, I'm not a doctor but becuse you are so similar to how I have been I believe you have an anxiety condition - which is an illness, like measles, but with different effects.
One effect is extreme worry about all sorts of things, and another - and this is what I'm seeing in your last post is the fact that whatever reasonable alternative you come up with to get assistance, anxiety will quickly shovel into you mind a reason why you should not do it - and most of those reasons do not bear close examination, they are just plain wrong.
OK so you are reluctant to worry your parents. That's not going to worry them half as much as if you became, like I did, seriously ill with anxiety. Most parents act out of love for their children and want the very best for them, and that includes looking after them when they are ill. Do you think yours are different?
Now for a very common one - "you are just seeking attention", well OK, if you had a broken leg and sang out would that be reasonable,? Being ill in other ways it is still a reasonable -in fact sensible act.
Look I could go down the list of all the objections you have voiced however by now you will have an idea that not all your are thinking is accurate and just as importantly there are many here right on this forum that said exactly the same things to themselves. However when they finally did get treatment they were happy they did.
Your life is so miserable, and it should not be like that. You should enjoy things as well as have the occasional disappointment. You can get to hte stage where that prison of a bedroom is no longer seen as the only safe place, but just becomes the place to chuck your old clothes in before dressing to go out.
Sleep should be refreshing, when tired from a full day being sleepy should be welcome, and when you wake up there are things to do and enjoy.
The easiest assistance of the lot is the Kids Help Line, a phone in a quiet corner and off you go, it is no big hassle and they are not going to overreact. It' true they might suggest you tell your parents, I dunno if they will, but if they do that's good, not bad.
What do you think? I'd not tell you all this unless I'd been thorough similar too. There are happy endings.
Croix
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