Hello this is my first post here, i usually don’t talk about these things or anything because im really ashamed and embarrassed

The house that i live in that i have grown up in is the worst possible scenario housing style you can think of and i can’t escape or move because its to expensive in my city and i dont trust or like anyone enough to move in with anyone else so i feel stuck i dont talk about it with anyone because its just so embarrassing i am so ashamed. The scenario is that the house i live in is disgusting. I live with my siblings and just my mum and they have an aray of mental problems, my mum bipolar, adhd also shes been a single mum, my sister who i fight with a lot shes just in general crazy and has a lot of mental problems and shes always out to get me and i also live with my brother but all he does is game and be a slob. We have 21 cats in a 1 bedroom house, ( they’re all looked after fed etc) because of my mother. She just keeps getting them she thinks that no one else can look after the strays in our area that they just come to us this has been going on for years but right now its at its peak. 21. Try living with 21 cats. The smell. The amount of money it costs. We have a really bad insect infestation that nothing can help unless we get it professionally fixed but where would all the cats go? They all live inside my mum refuses to let them out so i feel so stuck the house is an absolute mess. No one cleans anything, ive cleaned the bathroom and then my sister would come in and mess it up again along with everyone else adding to it. My house is like a trap - house but worse. We also have 5 dogs to add to all this mess. I have no money because every night i need to buy take out as i can’t cook in my house or even store anything due to the infestation I dont know what to do i cry all the time i just want a normal household i see people cry about being poor but they have a functional household !!! My family breaks everytjing every door in the house is smashed due to tantrums and windows are smashed

im so sad i feel so exhausted and lonely i never want anyone to know about my lifestyle and i cant fix it myself because they will just mess it up again. I see no end I am really depressed over this and alone I just want to die i feel like im the only one in the world who has to put up with such a disgusting lifestyle

sorry if this didnt make any sense it probably didn’t its very rushed but i am just so stuck and clueless

Hi Kiraxl

Welcome to the bb forum. I know how hard it is to write your first post and I commend you on your courage and thank you for trusting us with your story.

Your post made perfect sense, you are definitely not clueless. But you are sad and I can understand why.

Please know that you are not alone. All families are different and experience a range of lifestyles and problems.

My father was an alcoholic and I often felt ashamed growing up. I never wanted to bring my friends around because I didn't want anyone to find out.

What I have learned as an adult is that, I am not my father. He made his choices and I make mine. He wasn't perfect but I loved him because despite his failings he had a good heart. Your mother's collection of cats may be odd but I think underlying the behaviour is either illness or pain.

I recently read a really good book and it's a movie too, called The Glass Castle. It's a true story about a family's struggles with poverty and mental illness (the parents). I recommend it because it highlights the challenges of some family life and the powet of the human spirit. The children in the story survived the trauma and went on to live their best lives.

And that's what I want for you. There is always hope for better days ahead.

I'm wondering if you might want to share how old you are? I'm asking because if you have a teacher you are close to, it might pay to have a chat about what you are experiencing. Talking to your doctor is also a really good idea, given how depressed you feel.

You may not be able to change your family or household situation but you can improve how you feel and how you respond to events in your household.

It can get better. Kind thoughts to you

Hello Kiraxl, thanks for posting your comment which I'm unfortunately it's very sad to be living in such squalor.

Your mum seems to be like a hoarder, a compulsive need to believe that she is the only one to look after all these cats and dogs, and each council in each State has a restriction on how many animals you are allowed and this certainly is being ignored.

It doesn't matter whether she is looking after them, I can only imagine what sort of condition it's in, and it's not satisfactory to raise a family.

There are places you can be housed but I need to know a general idea of where you live, plus the RSPCA would not agree to these living conditions, you can also contact the police as entry to the house may be difficult, they will also do the hard yards for you, so please get back to us.

Very Concerned.

Geoff.