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Forums / Young people / My extremely long rant about how my church sucks

Topic: My extremely long rant about how my church sucks

5 posts, 0 answered
  1. The-all-seeing-Iris
    The-all-seeing-Iris avatar
    1 posts
    10 October 2020

    You guys have no idea how sick I am of attending my local church,
    Seriously it is like the most hetero normative place you can imagine.

    About late last year, one of my pastors randomly inserted some homophobic nonsense into a sermon for zero reasons besides being human trash. It was something about how pastors who love and support LGBT+ deserved to die or other verbal garbage I really didn't want to listen to. If it could not get any worse some old ladies sitting behind me start cheering him on (which never happens since everyone in the church usually stays dead quiet.
    Another instance of my pastor's major bs was when we had an entire sermon about how in a (straight) marriage, the woman needs to be loved/cared for and the man needs to be respected. Now on face value, this doesn't sound all that bad, but my pastor heavily implies that men don't need to be as loved/cared for as the women do and that woman needs less respect than the man does. I believe that both partners in a relationship (regardless of gender) deserve an equal amount of respect and love.
    Stuff like this makes me miss my old Baptist church where not only did they rarely mentioned LGBT+ people at all, let alone complain about them/people who support them in the middle of a sermon (I mean they were probably still homophobic but at least they kept their mouths shut about it) but they had a much larger budget to do more fun and elaborate things. You could tell just by how many people were there (I think the total number was about a thousand) and how much space there was that it was supported by people who were quite financially well off. For example, our youth group (which I and one of my older sisters attended every week) did things like bowling, scavenger hunts, movie nights etc.
    Also every year there were camps you could go on for the summer break and Christmas in July ball (which isn't as high class as it sounds but it was still pretty fancy) where we went to another pretty high-end church that was fully catered and had hired performers. There was also this one time where we went to a youth gathering (a gathering of all the youth group from all the nearby churches) where everyone dressed like pirates and similar to the ball had food, entertainment, and performers.

    1 person found this helpful
  2. Nurse Jenn
    Health professional
    • Health professional
    Nurse Jenn avatar
    436 posts
    14 October 2020

    Hi The-all-seeing-Iris,

    Welcome to the Beyond Blue forum.

    Great to see you ranting here. Getting frustrations out in the way can be really healthy, similarly to talking it out with someone. Some people find writing things down takes a lot of the steam out of their frustrations and helps them get through their next experience.

    We are here to listen to your rants, no matter how long. Keep writing it out if it feels good.

    Sending you strength,

    Nurse Jenn

  3. smallwolf
    Community Champion
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    smallwolf avatar
    5871 posts
    14 October 2020 in reply to The-all-seeing-Iris

    hi and welcome.

    I guess my first question is... how did it feel to put a figurative pen to paper?

    What you are describing sounds like a somewhat old fashioned (or conservative) view from the church - that the man is head of the household, homophobic etc. Some might downplay the role of women in the church. (they must have skipped over Gal 3:28 about all people being equal) But that is another discussion.

    I could also tell you about some negative experiences in church myself regarding mental health.

    I am guessing that you might be looking or some place where the people in the church (incl. the pastor) are open and accepting of everyone. There are a progressive moments on FB, web sites that list churches that are open and affirming.

    As it seems that you to disagree with the views of pastor, are you allowed to say you disagree with the words spoken? Do you want to? What would you like to see happen?


  4. therising
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    therising avatar
    2300 posts
    14 October 2020 in reply to The-all-seeing-Iris

    Hi The-all-seeing-Iris

    You do sound like a naturally open minded person, a naturally sensitive person (sensitive to degradation among other things), a naturally compassionate person and a natural adventurer (someone who loves adding ventures to life/indulging in play). In fact, you sound like an absolute natural.

    It takes a natural to spot what doesn't appear natural. Being such a person does come with the challenge of easily being triggered under certain circumstances. Wondering if you find you are sensitive to not being inspired (degraded), not being excited (bored), not being heard (oppressed), people not being sensitive (insensitivity) and the list goes on.

    It is amazing how we can find the best in our self through what we cannot tolerate. Often, what we can't tolerate tells us who we naturally are.

    In my opinion, you're naturally amazing. Stay sensitive, with your 6th sense.


  5. Not_Batman
    Valued Contributor
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    Not_Batman avatar
    449 posts
    15 October 2020 in reply to The-all-seeing-Iris

    Hi The-all-seeing-Iris

    clever username, i like it.

    it is very good that you have your own opinion on the subjects. Mine differ vastly from others, but i try to see both sides, or from another perspective, as we too can become just as narrow minded.

    what your describing sounds like the conversations i have with my mum. A very conservative, religious person. Kind of anti-gay too. But i love my mum dearly.

    im not saying at all to leave your church. For me, I still identify as xxxxxx just not actively practicing. I still teach my kids about good and bad, morality...i just figured a long time ago that church (the physical place and the narrow minded comments) were not for me. The teachings for the most part are how to be a good person, have morals, kindness, respect, and the like.

    Be strong. Be well.


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