Welcome to BeyondBlue online forums and thanks for sharing your story with me.
After reading your several posts, I still believe that you will become the best educational psychologist! Why? From all your posts - I have noticed that you are very open and honest, this shows me you have insight into what is bothering you. So well done on that!!
Well, coincidently I was in the same boat!! During my childhood and adolescence, I suffered terribly from social anxiety, generalized anxiety, fear from the future, eating disorders, depression, and that had a profound impact when I started my university. I also went into psychology and completed my bachelors but I just drifted myself - I did not enjoy every bit of it because I was avoiding my responsibilities, like studying for 40 hours per week since, I was a full-time student!! Why? Well, I did not address my inner issues first. From there I also started becoming scared from the future.
But one day it hit me really hard when I was rejected from my Honours program because of low GPA! From there I started something completely new! I started to visualize myself - that what do I want to become! If I want to become Dr. Clinical Psychologist, someone who treats people - needs to know him or herself inside and out.
I did not know myself - so I made a lifestyle change! I completely went whole foods plant based, started exercising every day (weightlifting) - burning all the excess fat that I had gained from my eating disorder throughout my school and start of uni. As well as I started incorporating meditation/yoga lifestyle changes.
Now I have completely reversed all my mental illnesses and currently, I am completing GDPA (4th-year psychology honors) with flying colors. I am starting to enjoy every moment. Because after a lifestyle change I have started to connect myself and know myself inside and out.
This is what has worked for me. But long story short, tell me what scares you about the future? Is it the job? Is it work? Or long-term committment?