Richard:
From a young age
I was pretty ambitious.
All that mattered was
financial success.
The job that I was in,
in the bank
didn't sit well with me.
With every promotion you think
“I don't deserve this”
and you're walking around
with a big load on your shoulders.
And the only method that I found
to really ease that stress
was to drink.
I would drink in the morning,
I’d drink at lunchtime,
and then I’d drink on the way home.
If I was lucky on a good night,
I got off at the station
I was supposed to get off.
On a bad night, I'd end up
at the end of the stop.
Over time, I became depressed.
It took me hours to get to sleep.
I started to avoid social activities.
My family life was not working out well
and bit by bit,
my life was falling apart.
I simply thought at that stage
that I was
of no value to anybody.
When you reach that stage of
thinking that the world is
better off without you,
I decided to take that step
of taking my own life.
And if it wasn't for my wife,
I wouldn't be here now.
I went to rehab for six weeks
and I think it was
one of the best things
I could have done.
I’d visit AA regularly.
I saw a fantastic psychiatrist.
With the support from my wife,
my family, my friends...
I pulled it all back.
When you believe that
there is hope, when you believe
that you have passions
and things are starting to work,
I get a sense that the universe
conspires to help you.
[Background chatter]
Now as you can see,
I'm much more open to
breaking down and
people can see a different person.