I had no idea what was going on I was crying about things I just couldn't cope.
But I just really had no idea it was depression.
I didn't have the same passion for things I really used to enjoy I didn't want to go out with friends I don't want to go anywhere.
Somebody actually noticing that I wasn't coping. I'd have panic attacks and thought I was having a heart attack.
I was feeling really sort of low and... Sometimes it's just hard to get out of bed. Now looking back on those really early days was recognising the difference between being a functional person and not being a functional person.
The logical approach that my doctor took, was really reassuring. You're not unique. Yeah, you know, 'settle petal'. It's alright we've got some plans here and we're gonna keep doing it until we find something that works.
That constant reminder that you're not alone. Reading that other people had it didn't make me feel so alone as well. What I was experiencing was was a shared struggle with other people. From letting go and letting somebody know that I wasn't right like a whole weight was lifted off my shoulders that I wasn't the only one like this and other people understood and felt the same things I do.
The journey isn't necessarily an easy one but it's an important one. You can't just stay in that darkness all on your own it's it's a horrible place to be.
Go to a doctor just tell them or tell somebody. It doesn't make you weak. You're no less of a person for doing it talk to somebody say to them that you do need help and you're not feeling quite right.
Realise that there are people that want to see you functioning well enough so that you can heal and so that you can find the joy in your life.
I think she's worth it. I didn't, I didn't think probably that I was worth it.
Just be really honest with yourself and kind to yourself because what you're going through is nothing to be ashamed of. You can get through it we can all get through it if we're just courageous enough to stand up and ask for help.
Good sleep, taking care of my body, mindfulness, exercise they yeah. I have an assistance dog, Salvador. It's mainly connecting with people, talking to people.
You know I go and see my doctor if I need to. Making sure I've got my medication. I use exercise a lot. I see psychologists and psychiatrists.
Talking to my friends, talking to my family, spending time with my boyfriend. I do a lot of yoga and a lot of high intensity fitness and I love being outside.
I have my tribe of craft girls that keep a good eye on me and that's something I wouldn't have had a either if I had to said anything I'd still be by myself.