I remember I was sitting in my room, I couldn't figure out a little problem with some of my maths homework. Just remember losing it like through a pen, I was yelling at myself, slammed my head into my desk like just doing all this stuff to hurt myself. I just had no control over my emotions and how I was feeling I just felt helpless.
There are so many thoughts that just enter my head of these ridiculous scenarios that will never happen. But for me, that's so real. My depression made me want to like stay in bed all the time, but my anxiety would just make me so anxious about not doing anything.
I thought I was having a medical emergency. I was really dizzy. I was always really worried that I was going to faint, the heart palpitations, the sweaty palms, I was shaking just uncontrollably.
If I had known what I know now, like, all I need is really like a temperature change or something like that flew me back into consciousness.
Oh my gosh, that I have like the most amazing psychologist and psychiatrist who just really get me it's been a journey to find people that really understand and I really feel like I can express myself to.
I eventually went to a GP in London, and ultimately that led to my diagnosis, anxiety, depression, panic disorder. I felt nothing but just complete relief, knowing that there was a name and there was now something that I could do about it.