Dad got diagnosed with stomach cancer and he was obviously really quite ill. I only had really a couple of years with dad. Looking back now and we're always wise with hindsight that I didn't do much about the grief of my father.
I lost my best friend Nicola. There's no words that anybody can use to describe the pain and the guilt and everything, every time that I think that just flows over me.
When I was 20, I lost my brother to suicide. And I can't describe a more gut wrenching grief. It was all the grief of someone so young dying. But then there was that extra layer of, of anguish.
Grief is something that we all experience in life, but we just need to be taught the skills to to get through that, to get on the other side of it, to remember things differently. And if we need to go back and visit places that help that process, that's what we should do, you know.
I've now let go that it's no one's fault and it's, you know, but it was a huge turning point. And that's that's why I'm here today because I feel like it's my job to do the things we would have done together. And it's my job to, partly, live my life the best way I can. Because she didn't get that chance.
That honestly took me years and years to come to terms with in some way or another. To just live with, like, get on with living, but still remember my brother. In the work I do now when I'm talking about mental health. It feels like full circle for me.