I am sorry for your loss.
When one loses a parent there are so many regrets and emotions.
. My dad and mum died over 14 years and 20 years ago respectively.
I struggled too as Ididnt visit my dad as much as I wished I was had because I lived 7 hrs away by bus.
I was so annoyed at myself and felt guilty . I would also reflect on all the the times I has argued with him. We loved each other but we were both obstinate. I felt so wretched
until some one suggested I may try focusing on the positives rather than regretting on what I can’t change.
Aftter a while I tried to focus on all the great times we had together.
I wrote letters to him on the computer and it helped me to express how I was feeling.
There is no use by time for grief. the first year and especially the first 6 months is so hard as one adjust to not having a parent in ones life.