Parenting and mental health

Families are where children first learn about love, support and belonging. Children and young people who are part of a strong and supportive family are more likely to achieve their best possible mental health.

It’s important to understand that there is no ‘perfect’ family. Families are diverse, and each has its own circumstances, joys and challenges.

Here’s some advice, information and resources for anyone taking care of, supporting, and sharing life with families and children.

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Looking after your mental health and wellbeing as a parent

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You’re likely aware of the emotional and social support children need to thrive. You’re probably also determined to do everything you can to provide it. This is natural. But children who see adults caring for their wellbeing are likely to see it as important for themselves, too.
If you’re struggling with your mental health and wellbeing, seek support to help you look after yourself.

As a parent, having information and resources to understand and care for your child can help. So can looking after your own mental health as much as possible. Seek support from others when you need to. This can be good for your wellbeing, and your family’s.

Resources to help you look after your own wellbeing

Understanding child mental health

Children and young people with positive mental health feel good about themselves. They’re able to build relationships and express themselves. They can also deal with challenges and adapt to change.

Children’s mental health moves along a continuum. Like an adult. ‘Continuum’ means that a child’s mental health is not fixed. It can move along a range from healthy to struggling, and back again.

While most children experience positive mental health, a child can also struggle. They can develop a mental health condition. It’s important to seek support early.

Visit the Be You website to understand the Mental Health Continuum.

Consider the whole child

It’s important to consider the ‘whole child’ when thinking about your child’s mental health.

You can better understand your child by attempting to understand what’s going on in their world.

A range of factors shapes a child’s life and their mental health and wellbeing:

their nature (including their biological make-up)
significant events and experiences that happen to them
their family, relationships, learning environment and community
broader systems, such as government public policies and health services.

Child developmental stages: birth to 18

Understanding your child’s mental health based on their developmental stage and age can help you to better support your child.

By knowing what to expect at each stage, you can feel better equipped to navigate the challenges ahead - in turn, supporting the wellbeing of yourself as a parent.

You can also learn more about mental health during pregnancy.

Families and adversity

All families experience adversity, such as separation, job loss or the death of a loved one. Families may also experience discrimination, mental health challenges, poverty, substance abuse or family violence. This can affect the mental health and wellbeing of families.

Acknowledging the impact of adversity early and providing support can help children recover.

Adverse childhood experiences

Adverse childhood experiences (ACES) are very stressful events that occur during childhood.

Childhood adversity might come from experiences of:

loss and grief
separation or divorce
physical or emotional neglect
natural disasters
a family member falling ill
family violence or abuse.

These experiences can have an impact on a child’s health, both physical and mental.

Parents and family members have an important role to play in supporting a child’s recovery.

Depression and anxiety in children and young people

We all experience difficulties from time to time, and children and young people are no different. Like adults, they can experience mental health conditions such as anxiety or depression.

Noticing the signs of depression or anxiety

If you’re worried about your child’s moods or behaviours, the first step is taking time to observe what’s going on.

Signs include:

persistent worries or unusual fears
sadness and feelings of hopelessness that don’t go away
being overly critical of themselves or others
avoiding particular situations
avoiding friends or family and wanting to be alone most of the time
refusing to go to preschool or school on a regular basis
inability to get along with other children or peer group
noticeable disinterest or decline in school performance
frequent aggressive reactions
frequent, unexplained temper tantrums
hyperactive behaviour or constant movement
restrictive or inflexible eating
difﬁculty going to sleep or staying asleep
physical complaints (unexplained aches and pains)
difﬁculties with concentration, attention and organisation
showing a desire to hurt themself or hurting themself.

Learn more about noticing the signs in infants and young children on The Royal Children’s Hospital Melbourne website.

Perinatal depression

Depression can start before or during pregnancy and continue after childbirth. We use perinatal depression to cover the period from conception until your baby is 12 months old.

Antenatal depression is when you experience depression during pregnancy. It affects up to one in 10 women in Australia.

Postnatal depression can develop up to one year after the birth of a child. Up to one in 6 women experience it.

Depression may also return during the pregnancy and birth of another child.

Perinatal anxiety

Anxiety is a normal reaction to stressful situations. We all feel anxious sometimes. The symptoms of anxiety are not that obvious when you’re pregnant or caring for a newborn. You might already be feeling a bit more anxious than usual, so it can be hard to know how much is ‘too much’. If left untreated, anxiety can make parenting a child more challenging.

Helplines for families

It can be hard to know where to start when supporting a child or young person experiencing a mental health challenge. Sometimes, families just need a little help.

These helplines offer information and advice:

13YARN – crisis support helpline for First Nations Peoples.
Butterfly National Helpline – for anyone concerned about eating disorders or body image issues.
Headspace – for children aged 12 to 25 to chat, email or speak on the phone with a qualified youth mental health professional.
Kids Helpline – telephone and online counselling service for children and young people aged between 5 and 25.
Lifeline – crisis support, suicide prevention and mental health support services.
Perinatal Anxiety and Depression Australia (PANDA) – supports people affected by changes to their mental health and wellbeing from pregnancy and until their baby is 12 months old.
QLife – webchat and phone peer support and referral service for LGBTIQ+ people and those wanting to support LGBTIQ+ people.

Find more state-based parent helplines and hotlines on the Raising Children Network website.

Parenting and mental health

On this page

Subscribe to receive info about mental health, keeping well and stories from our community.

Looking after your mental health and wellbeing as a parent

Resources to help you look after your own wellbeing

Understanding child mental health

Consider the whole child

Child developmental stages: birth to 18

Families and adversity

Adverse childhood experiences

Depression and anxiety in children and young people

Noticing the signs of depression or anxiety

Perinatal depression

Perinatal anxiety

Helplines for families

Journey to recovery - personal stories

Parenting, depression and coping with life – Georgie’s story

Aiming for the impossible - Craig's experience of depression and parenting

Further resources

Get mental health support

Take the k10 test

Try Beyond Blue PACE

Connect with others like you

Your child’s emotions

Your child's temperament

Strategies for supporting child mental health

Pregnancy

Babies (birth to 12 months)

Toddlers (ages 1 to 3)

Preschool children (ages 3 to 5)

School-age children (ages 6 to 8)

Preteens (ages 9 to 11)

Teens (ages 12 to 18)

Family violence

Developmental delay or disability

Parenting with a mental health condition

Parenting, depression and coping with life – Georgie’s story

Work and financial stress

Having the conversation

Seeking support for your child