Dealing with fatherhood
Two years later, Craig moved to Newcastle. By this stage, the notion of the impossible man had faded. Not long after the move, Craig met Brooke, who would later become his wife. They hit it off straight away and it wasn’t long before they were engaged.
Then came the news that excited and terrified Craig at the same time. They were going to be parents.
“The thought of being a dad never scared me. It excited me. But when my wife told me she was pregnant, I imagined the impossible man waking after years of slumber,” says Craig.
“I suddenly needed to take my career more seriously. I needed to act and sound more professional, and less like the goofball I usually was.”
Craig started putting in longer hours at work. He was promoted to a high-level manager position with his own office and budgets to manage. Craig’s wife noticed the changes. They worried her.
“It took a lot of energy out of me trying to be someone I wasn’t, and this hurt my wife. I was not the man she fell in love with.”
When Craig’s son was born, he was overjoyed. But he was so busy at work, he was barely home to spend any time with his family.
And when he did get home, he was so drained all we wanted to do was be left alone, or to sleep.
Losing control
By this stage, Craig was drinking five coffees a day, sleeping poorly and had lost a lot of weight. His performance at work was declining. And he was still struggling to be present at home.
One day, Craig was sitting in his car, having just pulled up at the office. Suddenly, it was like he didn’t have control of his own body.
“I could feel everything, yet I felt numb at the same time. Like someone had stripped my skin down to the bare nerves. I started to sweat, I couldn’t move. I genuinely thought I was having a heart attack,” says Craig.
“I just didn't know what was happening to me.”
As it turned out, this was Craig’s first panic attack. It was the catalyst to book an appointment with his GP.
