I've been meaning to come on here and talk about my current situation. I'm just gonna jump straight in.
So, i lost my mum to Cancer in July, when she got diagnosed, she was given about 5 months to live, so me and my family set out to do so much with her, go to the beach, have a family dinners etc etc, anyway, she passed away after 5 weeks and didn't get to do anything with her. The last week, she was asleep, as her body just shut down. The positive i take out of this is, we got to say our goodbyes, got to say sorry for anything etc.
About 2 weeks ago, my family lost a father figure to Cancer, he wasn't blood relation, but we had known him for about 30 years, the majority of my life and he became somewhat of a father figure and such an important part of our family.
During this time, me and my partner had to put one of our cats down, her body was shutting down and was in pain.
Then a couple of days ago, a family friend passed away with Cancer, i just saw him about a month ago and he looked fine, getting on in age, but was still getting around and looked healthy, he was a great man.
I also do contract work, and got my new contract about a week ago and my pay has gone down, quite a bit, we struggled the last 2 years (due to COVID) and was looking forward to getting a pay rise and the possibility of having a holiday to kind of process every thing that has happened. When my mum passed away, my work was very sympathetic and said i could take as much time away as i needed, but due to our financial situation, i got to take a week off and i had to go back.
So here i sit at my computer and all i feel is numb, i don't feel suicidal, but i don't really feel much at all, i don't care about my job, i don't really care about much TBH. Christmas is coming up and i don't care much about it. I will go with the flow, do lunch and dinner, physically i will be there, but mentally i won't be, if everyone gets what i mean.
Anyway, thanks for letting me vent and talk about my past 6 months.