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Forums / Staying well / Anyone had to spend days alone without anyone to talk to?

Topic: Anyone had to spend days alone without anyone to talk to?

  1. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    720 posts
    14 February 2020 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy,

    Well far out girl, you did give me a laugh then, telling me your ex was a writer and here I am blathering on about writers being arrogant... what a hoot! Was he I wonder?!!

    Anyway no wonder you read so widely then. If only we lived closer we could swap books, why do you have to live on the other side of Australia Katy dear? Paws too, it's no use being down there in Victoria... rats.

    I'll write more later today as I have to make myself presentable to meet my friend for lunch - she hasn't got long as she's studying psychology at the Uni and has three teenagers, and I've realised it's Valentine's Day so I'm not sure how crowded the café will be, it's a very popular one.. so I'll have to get there a bit early and grab a seat..

    Excuse the brief reply I shall return - and happy Valentine's Day from us here anyway! Hugs from me and Sam xxx

  2. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    720 posts
    14 February 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hang on, Katy, I had to come back for a minute.

    You say your ex was a writer … and he left you WHEN?!!!!!

    OK I'm going to give you a very Australian reply - a writer who leaves you at a critical time in your life...

    Yeah well that's bloody typical!

    On yer, girl, you're doing great. Hugs hugs xxx!!!

  3. Sophie_M
    Community Moderator
    • Works for beyondblue moderating these forums
    Sophie_M avatar
    1528 posts
    14 February 2020 in reply to Hanna3
    Hi All,

    Just jumping in to remind everyone to please be mindful of all members who have engaged in a thread. As per our community guidelines, it is important to post in a way that is respectful of everyone, which includes acknowledging when others wish to engage and join a conversation.  We do appreciate everyone’s voice on the forums and are here to ensure this community is a positive and safe space for all members to share their journey and receive support.  We appreciate your understanding. 
     
    5 people found this helpful
  4. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    720 posts
    14 February 2020 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws,

    Just thought I'd post a hello in case you come by - hope all is well where you are.

    I met a friend for lunch, now back home - I wonder why it is I feel lonelier after meeting someone than if I hadn't..

    Anyway just sending furry hugs your way from Sam, pats to Woofa, hellos from me xxx

  5. Guest_0345
    Guest_0345 avatar
    543 posts
    14 February 2020 in reply to Sophie_M

    Thank you Sophie, I appreciate that. I've been feeling quite down about it.

    Tayla

    4 people found this helpful
  6. Paw Prints
    Paw Prints avatar
    445 posts
    14 February 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hello Hanna, wave to Katy,

    You feeling lonelier after spending time with someone makes sense to me. Given how down you have been feeling, it's not surprising that you should feel that such encounters are for now the exception to the rule & feel lonelier as a result. I know it would be hard, but could you try & think of it as a sign that despite where you are nice things can & do happen.

    While I'm trying to do the positive thinking thingy, isn't great to have somewhere like bb to meet, we would never have met in r/l given how far away we live from each other.

    Well we have thunder & lightening happening here & Woofa is not happy. Of course because he has better hearing than me he started barking at it long before it even got here. As you can probably guess Great Danes have very loud barks, so I have opened the back door so he can bark at it from the back verandah & save what's left of my hearing. Mind you he keeps running inside to check I'm still here to save him, he's such a brave boy. The radar shows the rain missing here, but there is very very light rain falling, just enough to add to the humidity. Yuk!!!

    Speaking of humidity since things got humid here a couple of weeks ago, there has been a plague of huntsman spiders in my house. I can take the odd one every now & then, but this is more like an invasion of the arachnids.

    Hugs all

    Paws

  7. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    720 posts
    14 February 2020 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws,

    I draw the line at spiders and cockroaches!!!

    My friend alas spent two hours talking about her illnesses, of which she seems to have very many. Sigh. So I came home feeling quite drained - I was looking forward to a nice chat...

    Sam has a surprisingly loud and deep bark for such a little dog, he used to frighten the postman in Coastal Town when he delivered a parcel, as Sam's bark when he knocked on the door made him think it was a big dog inside - then I'd open the door and it was little Sam... who basically runs on batteries...

    Yes I really think we should all move within an easy walk of each other so we could all walk our dogs and swap books to read! And our poor friend is in a bad way and I wish we were nearer to help her... you put a lovely comment on her thread... I do worry for her at times like this... if only we could give her a hug and sit with her and make her a cuppa so she wouldn't be alone...

    I have a couple of nice things ahead - the chamber orchestra from Cologne in Germany is playing on Sunday night, and Monday afternoon I am going to a free screening of a movie as it's for people over 50 for Seniors' Week - and the book club meets on Thursday afternoon. Positively a busy week for me...!!!

    Our dam is at about 27% so we're nearly onto even worse water restrictions and in a few weeks more emergency water restrictions - there's been so little rain here it's quite desperate. Scary to think such big towns are running low on drinking water....

    I would love to hear Woofa bark! Maybe you should wear earplugs. Give Woofa a bit pat from me and furry little tiny hugs from Sam xxx

  8. Paw Prints
    Paw Prints avatar
    445 posts
    14 February 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hello Hanna, wave to all,

    Oh!! Not the most uplifting chat then. Lets try & look on the bright side, she trusted you to be there for her & listen as she unburdened. So you have added to your good Karma.

    I'm fascinated by little dogs that have big dog barks, they're not that common. I wonder how they manage it given how small their larynx is.

    Woofa wants me to lodge a protest in Sam's defence as Woofa thinks Sam's mum comparing Sam to the energiser bunny is a bit cheeky.

    A week of being a social butterfly, you wont know yourself flitting from outing to outing. The concert sounds lovely. I'm guessing you do know which film it is being screened, is it a recent release or a classic oldie?

    Thank Sam for his hug

    Hugs to you both

    Paws

  9. blondguy
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
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    blondguy avatar
    9626 posts
    14 February 2020 in reply to Guest_0345

    Hey Hanna...excuse I for hijacking your thread for a moment if thats okay :-)

    Hey Tayla....I hope you have been doing okay..... I hope you can continue to engage in Hanna's thread topic as her thread topic does apply to many of us on the forums...myself included

    Can I ask if you have been spending days alone without anyone to talk to?

    my kind thoughts

    Paul

    4 people found this helpful
  10. Guest_0345
    Guest_0345 avatar
    543 posts
    14 February 2020 in reply to blondguy

    Hi Paul.

    I haven't really been OK, but I guess I'll get there. Thank you anyway and thanks for asking.

    Yes I have been spending days alone without anyone to talk to. Well I have my parents yeah. Seeing my Psychiatrist on the 18th, other than that, no one. I haven't seen my GP since the last visit because of how bad she treats me, sigh.

    Kind thoughts and hugs back, thank you.

    Tayla

    2 people found this helpful
  11. Sleepy21
    Sleepy21 avatar
    59 posts
    14 February 2020 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi all.... lovely to read the book reccomendations. Hanna you reminded me about Tim Winton, he is such a special writer. I love him, and Helen Garner, and an English writer called Rachel Cusk. Her novel Outline, is one of my faves. Re odd google search history, I find it funny when I began typing something in and one of my more depressing searches comes up. "I don't want to go outside" etc etc.
    Lol so another hand up as one who googles every and any fear and anxiety and life issue.

    Katy lol today certianly was Valentines day, so much ewwwwwww for me too. Very single here. Hope you all had a peaceful day x

  12. blondguy
    Life Member
    • Life membership is awarded by beyondblue for providing outstanding peer support to the online community over a period of 3+ years.
    • A member of beyondblue's blueVoices community
    blondguy avatar
    9626 posts
    14 February 2020 in reply to Guest_0345

    Hey Tayla....and wave to Hanna for the helpful thread topic too!

    Having a support network....(even 1 friend that you can confide in) is always a bonus to our well being :-)

    Great to have you on the forums...Paul

    4 people found this helpful
  13. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    720 posts
    15 February 2020 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws (waves to all as I have to go out soon)

    Well I suppose my karma is one way to look at it - but I had to have a lie down afterwards, the strain of listening to all her pains and symptoms for two hours oh dear...

    Pandemonium last night as it looked like the Rottweilers were asleep on their back porch so I let Sam out to do his business in the back yard before bed - and a possum was on the ground at the back and scrabbled to get up the fence and fell down - and the two Rottweilers went after it and Sam - who doesn't have a hope of catching anything - the poor possum just made it up the fence with the Rottweilers snapping at it's tail but then Sam huffed and puffed at them behind the fence and all hell broke out, with me screaming at Sam to get back and the Rottweiler's owner yelling at them... the first time I've let Sam off the lead in the yard... and I was frightened for the possum because it came awfully close to getting taken by the Rottweilers...

    Well at least the Rottweiler's owners can see the problem now, and I thought what a risk they are to our only wildlife here which is the local possums.... Sam was in trouble and he knew it, bad dog!

    Everyone is surprised when they hear Sam bark, it's unusual for a small dog to have such a deep loud bark! Sometimes it still surprises me... like last night...

    The free movie is I think about Jane Austen I just can't think of the title... something fairly light but it's free and why not go along I thought... bit of entertainment, might have someone there to chat to in the break...

    How are things where you are? Still smoky or stormy/rainy or hot? Take care Paws and another hug from Sam (although he's still in disgrace) xxx

  14. Guest_0345
    Guest_0345 avatar
    543 posts
    15 February 2020 in reply to blondguy

    Thans Paul.

    I don't have anybody though, no one. On Christmas Day, my Auntie (one of my Dad's sisters, she lives in QLD, I've only met her once) blocked me on Facebook just because I said I was suicidal (which she knows anyway) because she was bragging about how much of a good time she was having and trust me, I mean bragging. This was in SA with her Husband's family, she has no time for us, no one does.

    I told my Psychiatrist last time I saw him and he said that's wrong and he wrote it down (not sure what he wrote down but when I told him he was writing, so).

    I wish I had people to talk to, especially in person.

    Thanks anyway,

    Tayla

    1 person found this helpful
  15. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    720 posts
    15 February 2020 in reply to Sleepy21

    Hi Sleepy,

    Sorry I'm late replying I haven't been around BB since this morning briefly. I haven't heard of the book by Rachel Cusk I'll have to look it up!

    I went to hear Tim Winton talk once, to an audience of over 400 people - he got such a bad attack of stage fright that for a while I thought he wasn't going to be able to speak, but eventually he settled down. I like that he's modest - someone asked him did he like his own writing, and he replied "I like some bits - and I won't tell you which bits". Which was kind of nice. I think he has an entire wardrobe full of two pairs of jeans and seven of the same black tee shirt!

    Do let me know any other books you might recommend, I'm a book worm! And I'm glad another person Googles strange things like I do...!!! Great to hear from you!

  16. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    720 posts
    15 February 2020 in reply to blondguy
    You are very welcome Paul - and hi to everyone else!!!
  17. Guest_0345
    Guest_0345 avatar
    543 posts
    15 February 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi Hanna. And to anyone else if there's anybody around.

    Tayla

    2 people found this helpful
  18. Sleepy21
    Sleepy21 avatar
    59 posts
    15 February 2020 in reply to Guest_0345
    Hey Tayla, Nice to see you here. Sorry I ddin't see your previous post when I posted yesterday. It's nice that you can confide in your parents. I think it can help to have someone in your family who supports you. Re your aunty blocking you, that sounds like my family. I'm sorry that some in your family didn't react kindly to you in your time of need. I find it very hard on the weekends without socialising, so I go to support groups over the weekend designed specifically to fill in that gap. I feel deeply that I can't rely on any one family member or friend to even bother to reply to a text to me over the weekend, so if i go somewhere with social workers etc i feel like less of a burden, and meet people in the same boat.
    3 people found this helpful
  19. Sleepy21
    Sleepy21 avatar
    59 posts
    15 February 2020 in reply to Guest_0345
    Hi Hanna,! I'm excited to get ahold of book you recommended and discuss. It's lovely to talk about books here, honestly I enjoy it a lot. Tim Winton sounds like a real artist... when I was a kid I read his book for teens and then kept up with him. I know people like Peter Carey, did you ever get into him? I don't mind his short stories, but have never been able to finish his novels. How is your pup going? It sounds like you have to keep him cool over the hot weather. I can't believe what you and Tayla have been writing about the soaring temperatures... it sounds absolutely unbearable. Here in Melbourne today it was cold!
    1 person found this helpful
  20. Guest_0345
    Guest_0345 avatar
    543 posts
    15 February 2020 in reply to Sleepy21

    Hey Sleepy21, thanks for replying to me again, I appreciate it, means a lot to me also.

    No worries about not seeing the post, thank you for responding though. I agree, it is nice to confide in my parents, I think of those who unfortunately don't have parents so I'm lucky there.

    I'm sorry to hear that your family and friends are like that also, it's terrible. You have me to talk to anytime if you need though.

    Sounds interesting about the groups, the only group I've been to was one that went for 8 weeks at my local Headspace Centre, don't even get me started on how traumatic that was and still is, which is why I don't want to go to similar things, plus nowhere will take me in, sigh.

    I have no idea what the Headspace group was for, I got nothing out of it. I enjoyed it for about 2 sessions (it was every Thursday from 1-3pm, I didn't go towards the end). We just did art every weekend and occasionally some other things like games (for example a maze type thing and you were blindfolded). It was fun at first but then it just turned bad and got repetitive and it just ended up being kids stuff that we did like what? The manager and group members made fun of my mental illnesses although I was anxious but interacting with everyone and being positive and laughing, but I had my moments. It was so traumatic for me and still is.

    I hope the groups aren't like that for you though. And you're not a burden. I hope you're alright.

    As for the weather, it's been hot where I am! Stay safe with the weather though everyone.

    Tayla x

    2 people found this helpful
  21. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    720 posts
    16 February 2020 in reply to Sleepy21

    Hi Sleepy,

    Good to hear from you. I love talking about books but haven't read Peter Carey. The library has a book by that writer you mentioned Cusk I think it is? I'll see about borrowing it, it wasn't the same one you mentioned though.

    Sam is OK I gave him a bath yesterday to freshen him up so now he's nice and soft and clean and fluffy again. Yesterday was hot here I hope today is cooler...

    I've been busy this weekend so on and off the forums, I'm going to a concert tonight which I hope will be nice, and soon I have to take Sam for his walk.

    Do you have a favourite Tim Winton book? I think mine is Cloudstreet.

    Just a tip about using the thread here - if you reply to me you need to find one of my comments and reply to it or it won't show up on my threads- you've replied to mb2lover so it will show up on Tayla's thread but not mine, so I won't know you're here unless I happen to find you. You will get used to it, it takes a while to learn to navigate around here don't worry! Cheers! Nice to chat - do let me know some books you like!

    1 person found this helpful
  22. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    720 posts
    16 February 2020 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws,

    Would love to hear from you when you get a chance and feel up to it. How's Woofa? I'm off to the classical music concert tonight so that should be nice. Gave Sam a bath in the laundry tub yesterday so he's nice and clean and soft again now.

    Until now he's been too frightened to walk up the street, but he was so bored last night I took him out and he went up to the end of the road and back with no problem, I think he forgot to be frightened he was so bored and it was evening... so that's a positive that now we can go for a little evening stroll.

    Take care, hugs xxx

  23. Paw Prints
    Paw Prints avatar
    445 posts
    16 February 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi Hanna,

    Poor Sam. Woofa thinks he deserves a bravery medal for taking on a ferocious scary demon possum without having his hooman beside him to protect him from its terrible ferociousness.

    I'm on a limited data internet plan which when I reach my max usage slows my connection down to barely working. So since Thursday I've been struggling to get pages to load, should be back to normal Tuesday..... not that normal is that much better... I need to have a booster installed...$$$$$... so not happening any time soon.

    Just to let you know.... regardless of whose post is replied to in a thread... any comment on any thread you have previously commented on will show in "my threads". So if I reply to Tayla on this thread it will still show on your "my threads". If you have "my threads" open & someone comments on a post after you've opened "my threads".... the new post won't be highlighted unless you exit then reopen "my threads". Hope that makes sense.

    I thought all the neighbours cattle were young bullocks... but there must be at least one cow among them... looking out my lounge window a little while ago I saw... a calf...it can't be more than a few days old.... it is so cute.

    Enjoy your concert tonight.... it sounds like a lovely way to spend an evening... must admit I'm a bit jealous....

    Pats to brave Sam

    Paws

    1 person found this helpful
  24. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    720 posts
    16 February 2020 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws, sorry I got the stuff about the threads wrong... duh.

    Computer issues must be going around as mine is misbehaving badly - I know it needs to go to a computer repair shop for a tune up so to speak, but the same problem as you - $$$!!!

    The possum was definitely in more danger from the Rottweilers than my battery-run little furry pal here...

    A calf would be lovely to see! Young things are always lovely.

    Yes I'm off to the concert fairly soon, and the movie tomorrow afternoon, everything came at once...

    Hope you computer is running better after Tuesday - I'll let you know how the concert and movie go then...

    Best wishes from us both here xxx

  25. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    720 posts
    16 February 2020 in reply to Sleepy21

    Hi Sleepy,

    I checked at the library here and they didn't have Outline, the book by Rachel Cusk that you mentioned, but they did have Transiet and Kudos - I think they're 2nd and 3rd books in the series? So anyway I've borrowed Transit and it does look interesting! Thanks for that tip! I'm always glad to hear of a new writer worth reading!]

    I am loving The Last Days of Ava Langdon by Mark O'Flynn, especially as I know Katoomba where it's set. It only tells the story of her over one day but she was clearly a true eccentric! I've never read a book by Eva Langley, the writer it is based on, but apparently she was well known in her day.

    Hope all is well with you, cheers from us here

  26. Guest_0345
    Guest_0345 avatar
    543 posts
    16 February 2020

    Just wanted to say hi all.

    Tayla

    2 people found this helpful
  27. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    720 posts
    17 February 2020 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws,

    I don't think you'll come by today with your computer problems but just to make you jealous - the concert last night was glorious - I think I just wafted home on clouds of music... mostly Germans, one Russian and one violinist from Finland. Nice that we got to chat to some of them afterwards. Lovely, lovely music.

    Am off to the movie this afternoon, could have done with a day in between... pats to Woofa, xx

  28. Katyonthehamsterwheel
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Katyonthehamsterwheel avatar
    477 posts
    18 February 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi Hanna

    So you enjoyed the concert immensely by the sounds. How wonderful :)

    What movie did you go and see? And how did you enjoy it?

    I've just finished the Randolph Stow novel and am off to my psych appointment soon, but wanted to just pop in and say hello and see how you are.

    Really enjoyed Stow's writing, but the book was a little sad. I'm planning on getting started on Invented Lives this afternoon, as I've also been sent the novel I need to review, and uni start date is closing in! The book I'm reviewing is based on the true story of Nancy Wake - an Australian spy, so hopefully will be interesting.

    Will pop by a bit later and see if you've been in. Katy

  29. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    720 posts
    18 February 2020 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy,

    Good to see you back. I'm low today so I'll try and write a half decent reply... yes the concert was just a joy, such a lovely talented group of young musicians from Germany, Russia and one from Finland - and just wonderful music. Such a delightful group to talk to afterwards.

    The movie yesterday was Love and Friendship which got excellent reviews but I found it dreadfully dull, and I couldn't hear properly and thought it was just me but turns out nobody could hear the dialogue clearly - gosh it was a long hour and a half. Everyone came with a friend so I was on the outer so I didn't stay for refreshments or anything, just went and took Sam for a long walk as it was coolish.

    Today is hot and I'm in a bad space sorry. Too much time alone, the heat has returned with a vengeance today and I am so over it, and heaps of financial problems etc etc etc - you don't need it all at the moment, you have your own stuff!

    Stow is rather sad. I enjoyed Invented Lives - a couple of unlikely happenings but it was such a pleasant book I couldn't mind that too much. I've just finished The Last Days of Ava Langdon by Mark O'Flynn, based on the life of writer Eva Langley whom I've never read and can't get hold of any of her novels, but she was something of an eccentric - a friend of Ruth Park's - and lived and died a recluse in the Blue Mountains in NSW. It's a fictionalised account of her last day, and the entire book is just about one day - but it's a sheer delight to read. It helps to be familiar with Katoomba, where she lived and where the writer lives, but it's not necessary to know the town to enjoy the book.

    Do you ever read ANZ Litlovers or Whispering Gums? ANZ Litlovers is in Melbourne (Lisa Hill) and the other is around Canberra - they both review only Australian and New Zealand writers but I've often picked up a tip from one or the other. Another site in the UK is dovegreyreader scribbles. I had an issue with her asking for donations as she is comfortably off, and she mostly reviews British books, but it's a pleasant website in general.

    There is also a website I wanted to refer you to as you may find it helpful. If you Google Brain Pickings - An inventory of the meaning of life (it's by Maria Popova - I don't pay but do get regular emailed articles from her and many of them are delightful. I thought you might enjoy it. I receive her emails weekly for no charge.

    I hope you get on OK today, you have been missed. Take care dear one, hugs xx

  30. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    720 posts
    18 February 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi Paws,

    Thought I'd send a hello wave in case you come by today - I'm no good today unfortunately. Hit a downer. I hope you and Woofa are OK. Hope the computer is working again soon for you. Hot here again, I think that 's part of the problem I am so over the heat... anyway just to say hi whenever you come by... xxx

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