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Forums / Anxiety / Anxiety about starting new job

Topic: Anxiety about starting new job

  1. PCL
    PCL avatar
    14 posts
    28 February 2019
    Hi, I’ve been suffering from depression & anxiety for past 4 years after I was bullied at work from management after a workplace injury. I’ve been seeing a psychiatrist regarding this & they just seem to put me on pills. My biggest issues are I apply for positions & go to interviews & 90% of the time get the job. I’m always really excited to start but then it all changes on the morning of starting. I can’t move & my anxiety just wont allow me to go in, so I email my new employer & make up excuse after excuse so never end up going. I recently got another position after 3 interviews & really sounds like a great place to work & full time with a reasonably good pay rate. My problem was I was meant to start this morning & again same anxiety set in so I made usual excuse & said I will need to start Monday which new employer has agreed to. I’ve tried taking paxam anxiety tablet befor bed & that still didn’t work. Any advice on how I might be able to get my anxiety in order so I can really get my life back on track & get back working again. I’m 48yo male. Thank you
  2. Might
    Might avatar
    1 posts
    28 February 2019 in reply to PCL

    its normal to feel anxious about starting a new Job.Must be even harder if you suffer from Anxiety. Acknowledge your feelings first and foremost. tell yourself its okay . Then tell yourself ; i will go for a week ,just one week. thats my goal and if i feel slightly less anxious by weekend i would have succeeded. Think about how you have never actually made it as far as day 1 in the recent past so this will be a great achievement.

    It also sounds like you are a very intelligent person who has the potential to achieve a lot, give your self a chance to do that. Dont let what happened in the past take away this opportunity you have. You know those pple who bullied you highly likely have their own big chunk of insecurities .You can do this, but even if you can't its okay...

    2 people found this helpful
  3. lilly2016
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    1 March 2019 in reply to PCL

    Hello Guest 9043

    I felt like I could of been reading my own Post reading yours. I too have suffered in this way so many times in the past, the exact same situation. I quit my last job and I had close to three months off work due to anxiety /depression issues but I too start my new job next week too! So I know what your going through, I also only went to two interviews so it was sudden and yes I was excited, but now I'm starting to feel the nerves kick in, but we owe it to ourselves to finally succeed, we have the opportunity so why not give it our best shot, get up super early next week before you go to work, focus on positive thoughts if you can and just get out that door, I'm just focusing getting through the day for now and in all seriousness I don't think they would expect too much from you on your first day. It's hard I know, because I am the same, but I really want this to work I'm not going to put too much pressure on myself and either should you. This will be good for you, try eat healthy and try get enough sleep the day before and prepare everything the day before. You can do this!

    2 people found this helpful
  4. PCL
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    14 posts
    3 March 2019 in reply to lilly2016

    Thank you Lilly. My nerves tonite are terrible as I start tomorrow morning, but I’m really going to try to not think too much about it. Just having your support & knowing you are feeling the same way makes me want to do this & get through it for both of us.

    I will let you know how it goes tomorrow night.

    Thank you once again

    Paul

    1 person found this helpful
  5. PCL
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    14 posts
    3 March 2019 in reply to Might

    Thank you Might, will keep you posted & thank you for your wise words & support.

    Paul

    1 person found this helpful
  6. Guest_093
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    3 March 2019 in reply to Might
    I am in agreement with what you say here totally. I have a avatar that I say to myself all the time'whatever they say or do, I am ok" does this make sense and is it believable it is too me, make it believable, you can!
    1 person found this helpful
  7. Guest_093
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    3 March 2019 in reply to PCL
    We are all barracking for you PCL, you have this hook line and sinker.
    1 person found this helpful
  8. lilly2016
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    4 March 2019 in reply to PCL
    Good luck today, thinking of you, I'm also struggling, starting today. Deep breaths. Let me know how you went. Lily
    2 people found this helpful
  9. PCL
    PCL avatar
    14 posts
    4 March 2019 in reply to Guest_093
    Thank you Spitfire. I’ve tried talking myself out of it all morning & nearly succeeding but I’m just about to walk out door on my way to work. Fingers crossed I can get there😬
    1 person found this helpful
  10. PCL
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    14 posts
    4 March 2019 in reply to lilly2016
    Thank you just about to leave for work after trying everything to talk myself out of it. Also good luck to you Lilly hope you have an awesome day
    1 person found this helpful
  11. lilly2016
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    4 March 2019 in reply to PCL
    Yep, I'm waiting for the train, you have a great day too!
    2 people found this helpful
  12. PCL
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    14 posts
    4 March 2019 in reply to lilly2016
    Yeah I made it through the first day & I think I actually enjoyed it as there is so much to learn. Hopefully tomorrow will be easier. Lily how was your day?
    1 person found this helpful
  13. lilly2016
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    4 March 2019 in reply to PCL
    Hi, yes I made it through my day too! Very tired though as I couldn't sleep to well during the night, it was good but I'm glad today is over and I'm looking forward to learning more, I'm glad you enjoyed your day that's awesome!! Well done to both of us.
    2 people found this helpful
  14. PCL
    PCL avatar
    14 posts
    4 March 2019 in reply to lilly2016

    That’s great to hear, congratulations. If we can get through next 4 days then we have a public holiday on Monday, but that’s a long way away at the moment.

  15. PCL
    PCL avatar
    14 posts
    5 March 2019

    Day 2 didn’t make it so disappointed in myself. Sent email to boss at 4am & told him I wouldn’t be continuing & that was after quite a good first day.

    Back to the drawing board 😞

  16. lilly2016
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    5 March 2019 in reply to PCL
    I'm so sorry to hear that, you did have a good day yesterday! well at least you made it in for the first day, don't beat yourself up about it, I hope your okay. Tomorrow is a new day.
    2 people found this helpful
  17. PCL
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    14 posts
    5 March 2019 in reply to lilly2016
    How was your second day Lily?
  18. lilly2016
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    6 March 2019 in reply to PCL
    Hi, so my second day was a bit better then my first day, thanks for asking, but my anxiety levels were pretty bad, I got through the day though, I hope today is better again but there is a lot of pressure to perform well already and I can feel myself cracking. I will push through and hope for a positive change and for some of this work to actually sink in properly, because at the moment it's a bit scattered and I really need to master this by the end of the week because then I'm on my own. I do hope your okay, I would take this time off to maybe try strategies to try and help you when you return to work when your ready, I know how hard it is though, easier said then done sometimes. It's unusual how it happens, we strive so hard to get an interview then we are so excited we got the job, then when it actually sinks in we are like, No!!!!!!! Too much. I'm just going to focus on being myself, because I find sometimes with a new job I pretend to be someone else for some reason. Anyway have a good day! I'm on my way to anxiety city!
    2 people found this helpful
  19. PCL
    PCL avatar
    14 posts
    6 March 2019 in reply to lilly2016

    Lily that’s fantastic news.Stay tough mate & you will conquer this 😊

    & thank you for you’re support.

    I will check in nxt week if you don’t mind & see how you’re doing.

    1 person found this helpful
  20. Rodda
    Rodda avatar
    1 posts
    7 March 2019

    Hey guys

    Your comments have been awesome, I need some pointers for dealing with anxiety before starting a new job. I feel like people are expecting so much from me and then I start way over thinking then I cant sleep.

    Any advise will be greatly appreciated!

  21. Guest_093
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    7 March 2019 in reply to Rodda
    hi rodda i found with my working life that you just each day as it comes, yes you are nervous and anxious and everything else that is acceptable try not to look at it too much and worry- lots and lots of subtle relaxing breaths otherwise I found the bloody negatives take over and convince you that you are not worth it and believe you me you are totally worth it that is 1 way I found to help the worrisome anxiety. hope this helps a little? Cheers Spitfire1, keep us posted please.
  22. PCL
    PCL avatar
    14 posts
    8 March 2019 in reply to Rodda

    Hey Rodda I’m probably not the right person to answer that as I failed for that exact reason. But Lilly2016 has been doing fantastically so she will be the one who may be able to help.

    I wish you all the luck Rodda

  23. lilly2016
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    8 March 2019 in reply to PCL
    Hey, so omg! One week of hell really, but I got through, pretending your calm helps to a certain extent until some bully wants to take you down a few notches, then everything turns pear shaped. Breathing slowly, walking slowly, thinking slowly, if you can helps, but seriously you cannot do that until your exhausted little.
    1 person found this helpful
  24. lilly2016
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    10 March 2019 in reply to Guest_093
    Well work was really hectic and quite stressful, there wasn't enough training to begin with and the person that was training me didn't know that much, there were a couple of mistakes I made which made me feel awful and a couple of people that got a bit narky with me on my first week, so I can't say it was the best week for me,. I'm m On my own as from tomorrow and I really hope I can pull this off, I'm very concerned. We will see what happens I can only do my best and I'm not going to take the odd comment towards me too personally. If it doesn't work out well at least I can say I did my best It's early days, but my anxiety is through the roof and I'm just so stressed, I will let you know how I go next week and hopefully I've got better news and results. I hope you are doing well, we all just got to keep pushing through and hope for the best.
    3 people found this helpful
  25. lilly2016
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    10 March 2019 in reply to PCL
    Sorry I meant to reply to PCL, I hope all is well with you, there are plenty of ways to relieve anxiety according to the Web, but it's what works for you, unfortunately I struggle to make it work for me, but I do try.
    1 person found this helpful
  26. jollydolly
    jollydolly avatar
    44 posts
    10 March 2019 in reply to lilly2016

    PCL and Lilly, I'm so sorry to hear how tough it is for you at the moment. I really want to share my experience in case it helps, so here goes. (I'm not sure what your field is; I work in an office environment).

    1. Choose 1-2 de-escalation techniques or grounding techniques that you can use when anxiety starts to rise, before it becomes overwhelming. Good ones for me are to repeat five things I can see over and over until I'm back in the present, or to touch five things while saying their name. (One drawback is that you may seem crazy, so I do it in the toilet at work if I have to.)

    2. Play the long game with regard to bullies or potential obstacles. They might get the better of you or make you feel small once or twice, but just remember - and it's true - that these people won't prosper; they have their own inadequacies and are terrified you're going to see them; and you don't need their approval in order to do well.

    3. If anxiety and depression are affecting you cognitively, write everything down - carry around a notebook or have a file open on your desktop. If you can keep track of all your tasks, then even when/if you don't complete them all on time, you'll know what's outstanding and don't need to feel overwhelmed or out of control.

    4. Sleep well. Eat well. Exercise well. This is the hardest one for me because I live on adrenaline, coffee, and wine, but it's absolutely essential to me not being agitated or tired, which will lead into stress and anxiety. I spent years thinking this advice was probably true but a little trite, and a couple of breakdowns later I realise it's the key.

    5. I tried schema therapy and my biggest lifetrap was fear of failure (duh); it was really insightful to see that I was a 'type' and that there were steps I could take to make changes in my life. My GP said that he sends patients to psychiatrists for medication and to psychologists for the mental work - maybe you would get something good out of trying a psychologist instead of psychiatrist?

    PCL, can I ask what your anxieties around work are about? What are you afraid is going to happen? For me, for example, feeling out of my depth and under pressure made me overwhelmed and I was afraid I'd get fired, but I then catastrophised it into losing my house, all jobs ever, my husband, daughter, and eventually my mind. That sounds facetious, but it's exactly what I feared. Obviously I then just felt even more pressure and fear and so it all snowballed.

    1 person found this helpful
  27. PCL
    PCL avatar
    14 posts
    14 March 2019 in reply to lilly2016
    Hi Lily, I hope it’s going better for you & your anxiety levels are dropping as you learn more & become more confident. I’m glad to hear you are not letting any small remarks get you down. You are doing great & I’m really really proud of you.
  28. lilly2016
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    14 March 2019 in reply to PCL
    Hey PCL, yes I'm still going and feeling the pressure, but getting much more confident in my role apart from a few teething problems that I'm still trying to get my head around here and there. I just cannot wait until I'm 100 percent at my new job. I have gone through some tough times I tell u, Sleepless nights, shaking, just massive anxiety attacks, nausea and sweats, but I'm feeling a lot more relaxed now, but I'm really unsure what they think about me, I haven't really made any friends as yet. I hope it runs more smoothly next week I really do. It's Friday tomorrow, yay! I'm even happier on a Friday when I'm not working for some reason, I guess it's just the atmosphere, people around you seem more relaxed and happier. Anyway it's been a struggle so far but I'm proud of myself too! Considering everything, considering I had thoughts of not even going to the interview and then when sitting waiting to be interviewed I was thinking of excuses to tell the receptionist why I had to go, such as an emergency or something, lol! Thanks for saying your proud of me too, makes a difference. I hope all is going well in your world, I will keep you posted of how I'm travelling.
    1 person found this helpful
  29. lilly2016
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    14 March 2019 in reply to jollydolly
    Thanks for your post jolly dolly, it really helped, its just nice to know your not alone in this world with this. I think sometimes it can all get so overwhelming and hearing from someone else that has experienced similar situations and feelings really helps, with some good pointers in there too.
    1 person found this helpful
  30. PCL
    PCL avatar
    14 posts
    14 March 2019 in reply to lilly2016
    Lily that’s great news. I enjoy hearing how you are doing. I feel it in my water (something my grandma used to say) that you have this under control. My profile picture, would you believe I was driving along a country road & actually saw a horse sitting like that, was very funny. Keep up the great work
    1 person found this helpful

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