I relate a bit to some of the things you’ve posted and just wanted share my thoughts.
I am/was high functioning ASD as a child. I’m 32 now and you wouldn’t know I was ASD. I was very shy and spiralled whenever I felt embarrassed or uncomfortable, also had some touch sensory issues. I would latch on to every little thing. Eg if someone said ‘hey how’s it going’ in passing and I said ’you too’, I would think about it for days and feel stupid for days. It wasn’t until someone explained that no one really said the right thing in those brief social interchanges, that I stopped caring. I didn’t understand it at all until then. I actually thought everyone else but me knew what they were doing in social interactions and was confident about it, and I was just weird for not knowing.
My parents apparently spoke to all my teachers and said that I would completely withdraw if they disciplined me. I didn’t have ADHD though and enjoyed learning new things. I do remember feeling like i was getting away with some things that other kids didn’t, but I think it definitely helped me. Though I still hated speeches at school and would have never seen myself as a leader (I lead a team of 18 adults now!)
Predicting feelings is something I always did and occasionally still do (though only when I am feeling depressed or a lack of motivation which comes and goes). For me, its to avoid being disappointed. But I always forget that I do actually end up feeling better by doing something like mindfulness or exercise. But it’s not until I realize that myself that I snap out of it.
I also used to hit my head against the wall/door out of frustration, and I still do whack my head from time to time when I feel all fogged up. I know I don’t want to feel some way but how do I stop? I guess I always thought the brain is what controls it, so giving it a jolt might help. More recently jogging helps me with the brain fog.
I think what helped me was lots of love and support from my family. I wanted to feel like I wasn’t a problem child and didn’t like it when I was aware that people knew I had ASD.
It took a while, but every little lesson I learned along the way about how to deal with people and social situations helped me get better at navigating them.
I also had to want to do it. I liked it when mum suggested I see someone to ‘help me write plans for social interactions’ rather than ‘why I struggle interacting’