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Forums / BB Social Zone / *You Gotta Friend in Us*

Topic: *You Gotta Friend in Us*

  1. Aaronsis
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    29 January 2020

    Hi

    I wanted to start this thread so that there was a place that people could introduce themselves and have a chat and make some friends when it seems that is a really hard thing to do in the "real world", that out there in life it is so very hard for people to make friends and maintain friendships and feel like they matter and are of value in a friendship.

    So welcome and I can't wait for you all to chat and share with each other and know that you have friends here.

    So to start the conversation if you feel it weird to write a post on here....grab a coffee or whatever your chat drink of choice is..maybe an Oat Milk Chai...yum ...and let's get started making new friends....

    "What is something that no one would know by looking at you?"

    Mine is that I speak Thai.....

    Hugs and love as always

    Sarah xxxx

    3 people found this helpful
  2. Aaronsis
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    5 February 2020

    Hello again

    Just jumping on to welcome anyone who comes along to make some friends, to have a chat, to let us know how your day is going.

    I am looking forward to you all introducing yourselves and making a friend today.

    Huge hugs

    Sarah xxx

    2 people found this helpful
  3. Matchy69
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    5 February 2020
    Great idea Sarah and your allways great to talk to and very good listener with good advice.
    2 people found this helpful
  4. calmseeker
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    333 posts
    5 February 2020 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hi there Sarah,

    What would be something that people would not know by looking at me? Hmm, good question. I don't speak a second language or play an instrument or anything like that. When I read this question a recent situation came to mind. I helped a neighbour who was in distress with eye pain. I took her to ER and grabbed her some dinner and gave her a bit of company. It was the second time I had ever met her. In the following days I could tell she was struggling with extreme anxiety and some loneliness amongst other issues. To help her in her struggles I opened up ( a little) about my own mental health issues. She was shocked and stunned. She kept saying she would have never ever believed it. She said I would be the last person she would have thought would have such issues. Apparently I come across as 'calm' and 'together' and 'able', were some of the words she used. Weeks later she was still greeting me with "I cant believe you have these issues!". It made me realise you just never know what people go through or who they are from face value. I guess I was sort of happy that my 'mask' was working so well. I have even had GPs say "Well you would never know by looking at you..." when I have an appointment regarding my anxiety issues. The saying 'Don't judge a book by its cover' comes to mind in this discussion.

    3 people found this helpful
  5. Aaronsis
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    5 February 2020 in reply to Matchy69

    Thank you Mark, I hope you too can make some friends in this space and have some cool people to share your news and day with.

    Hugs

    S

    2 people found this helpful
  6. Aaronsis
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    5 February 2020 in reply to calmseeker

    Hi calmseeker

    Wow what a human! that is a wonderful story and shows real compassion and caring to do that for your neighbor, what a great person you are. I am sure that she will remember the kindness you displayed to her for ever, it is not everyday you meet someone so willing to do that for another. Awesome!

    That is really brave of you to "expose" your MH and share your story, it is so empowering too and I am glad that you can see that removing your "cover" to show the "book" that is you is such a wonderful thing. Anxiety is not who you are and what you have done for your neighbour shows this.

    Great to chat to you calmseeker and I hope some more friends come to chat and to introduce themselves here.

    Wishing you a great day

    Sarah xxx

    2 people found this helpful
  7. calmseeker
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    333 posts
    5 February 2020 in reply to Aaronsis

    Aaaw Gawd Sarah you are so kind to say those things about me, I am going red, not used to compliments and not very good at taking them! I would hope that any decent person would do the same for another human being. I probably just should have written 'something someone would never tell from looking at me is that I have debilitating depression and anxiety" - as mentioned in my little story, my neighbour was shocked to find out.

    Wanted to ask you, how did it come about that you can speak Thai ?

    2 people found this helpful
  8. Matchy69
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    5 February 2020 in reply to calmseeker

    That was a lovely story calmseeker and you should be proud of your self.

    I have similar story when last time i was in the mental hospital i was in my 40s and most of the people were in their 20s and a few my age but their was this one elderly guy there and no one spoke to him and he use to stay in hos room and do word search puzzles so i use to go in there and talk to him and help him with his puzzles everyday and always checked on him.He was really a nice old man and when i told him i had been discharged he said i dont want you to go i will miss you and gave me a big hug.It shows kindness goes a long way.

    Take care,

    Mark.

    2 people found this helpful
  9. Aaronsis
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    5 February 2020 in reply to calmseeker

    Hey calmseeker

    Sorry to make you feel awkward with the compliments, I think you might find though that we are sort of short on humans like you, that not everyone would be so kind and caring. Today I think we are pretty consumed with our own lives and our own selves that we dont really even know who our neighbours are.

    So my ex and I lived in Thailand for his work, we went there for one year as expats and ended up staying for 6! I had my daughter there and my son went to school there too. So to get through the day effectively we really needed to learn Thai, so we did. It doesn't really help me in my life today but it is very handy when we go to Thailand for holidays!!

    I am so sorry you live with debilitating anxiety and depression. I hope here you can meet some amazing people to provide some friendships and some conversation when it probably is really hard to find that "in real life".

    Your friend

    Sarah

    2 people found this helpful
  10. Guest_7878
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    13 posts
    5 February 2020

    hey guys!

    just looking to make some friends here 😌

    i think on the outside i seem a little mean or up myself... I mean maybe I am up myself but I hope I’m not and I’m definitely not mean haha

    i do care a lot about other people... i recently got surgery and i was at the rehab clinic and there was a guy who lost his ring finger and another guy who was in a motercycle accident... a day or so later i was with my mum and I just started crying over how awful their experiences were and how bad I felt for them... the guy who lost his finger must have cried so much... and the motercycle guy got a much worse injury than he would have because he crashed himself so he wouldn’t hit a student that he was teaching. I thought that was really nice and I cried about it for a while.

    i am very wrapped up in myself because I have something along the lines of obsessive rumination OCD which means that I obsessively think about where I am in life and how the world affects me but I promise I do really really care about other people. at the moment it’s not showing because I’m emotionally burnt out which makes me feel really bad but it’s okay because I know I still care since I cried about strangers (just not people I care about because I’m numb due to how much more it would hurt given how much I care about them).

    anyway that’s something that other people wouldn’t guess is that I do really care about people it’s just stuffed down deep so I don’t get too hurt.

    love you all and I hope I can get to know some of you better

    💛💛

    2 people found this helpful
  11. Aaronsis
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    5 February 2020 in reply to Guest_7878

    Welcome plants_and _lyrics

    I guess that is something that humans we do and that is exactly what calmseeker was talking about in the below post. That what our outside looks like, be it a mask of happiness we hide behind or a rough and tough exterior, and what our insides look like can be two totally different people almost.

    I want to say to you though plants_and_lyrics that I have read some of the support you have provided to others on the forum and these acts of kindness and caring are not the acts of someone who is not able to care for others. So welcome and I am looking forward to getting some of the things that make up the person who is you..and who is all of us who are here, to make a friend and to have a chat.

    Something else that I will share that no one would know by looking at me is that I am a Fitter and Turner by trade...not many women take on a "male" dominated trade so yeah....there is something else about me.

    Welcome to the party plants_and_lyrics..grab a cuppa!

    Hugs

    Sarah x

    3 people found this helpful
  12. calmseeker
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    333 posts
    6 February 2020 in reply to Aaronsis

    Don't apologise sweet Sarah, taking compliments is my issue that I need to work on.

    That's an cool story of how you came to speak Thai and yes, it would be super handy when you go on holiday. xo

    2 people found this helpful
  13. Unicorndogge
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    140 posts
    6 February 2020 in reply to Aaronsis

    hi sarah

    when people first look at me they think i am either 15 or 16, when really i am almost 20 haha

    funny story right, one time i went into the movies and the lady that owned the store had MA+15 signs all over, i honestly thought she had a knock to the head. anyway i got there to order the movie i was going to see which was ma+15 and i was with my brother. the lady was like you know you have to be 15 to watch this movie and because my brother was only 14 at the time i had to show that i was at least 18 to get in with him. i showed them my ID and nope she didn't believe me, i honestly thought she was of her head for not letting me in and the whole way out she was death staring me. this happened last year.

    Also it happened at the pub at Christmas time, i was trying to make friends with the bartender (which was my age) but he literally thought i was 14. how annoying, now i am actually considering wearing makeup when i go out.

    i cant think of anything else but i think there is a lot more that people don't guess by looking at me. but as i say seeing is not believing sometimes i think life would be better if people didn't have eyes, they wouldn't judge so fast.

    hayley

    2 people found this helpful
  14. calmseeker
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    333 posts
    6 February 2020 in reply to Unicorndogge

    Hi Unicorndogge,

    My daughter has the same issue. She is 25, nearly 26 and most people think she is 16. It annoys her so much so I tell her that one day she will take this as a compliment. I would seriously love somebody to think I am 9 years younger than I am.

    That's annoying that the movie store owner wouldn't accept your ID. I think it actually might even be illegal for her to do that?

    Have an awesome day Unicorndogge xo

    2 people found this helpful
  15. willdo
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    78 posts
    7 February 2020 in reply to calmseeker

    Hi,

    I to would take it as a compliment. i was asked for ID till the age of 25. now they ask if i'm on the pension and i'm no were near it lol. time catches up before you know it.

    have a great day everyone.

    William

    2 people found this helpful
  16. Aaronsis
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    8 February 2020

    Good Morning Everyone

    Back after a few days of seeing Canberra..wow..We went to the Ru Paul Werq the World show and it was a fantastic night. So many different people there, so many people in drag and embracing their sexuality and gender, so many young people having the best time ever really being who they want to be.

    I also visited the War Memorial which was really cool too, so many awesome things to see in Canberra.

    That is really probably very frustrating Hayley with regards to the ID, but yes, as you become and old person, at 45 I can tell you I would love to be asked for ID now...lol..but yes, I do understand that when you are trying to move forward and to grow these things are very annoying.

    I am so happy that you are learning to take compliments Calmseeker, it is something you do have to learn how to do I think. I had to also..just start by saying "thank you" even if it rocks you to your core with discomfort, it soon does start to become easier and you can actually learn to be comfortable with people appreciating you.

    Welcome William and great to come and meet some new friends here, I see this was a really big step for you so well done and welcome to our crew here....

    So I feel like my weekend was full of new experiences and great friends..so my question is..

    "What was one of the best days of your life so far?"

    Chat some more soon and Happy Saturday, hope something wonderful happens to put a smile on your faces.

    Hugs and more hugs

    Sarah

    2 people found this helpful
  17. Matchy69
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    8 February 2020 in reply to Aaronsis

    Its great to have you back Sarah,missed you.

    The best day of my life was watching my daughter being born i never forget that day,I had never been so happy.I wish i had cigars to hand out to everyone.I actually understand that now why fathers hand out cigars when a their baby is born.

    Big hugs,

    Your friend,

    Mark.

    1 person found this helpful
  18. Aaronsis
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    8 February 2020 in reply to Matchy69

    Hey Mark and thank you for the welcome back xx

    I totally agree in that the birth of your kids is indescribable..so emotional and you really fill a love like nothing else...

    One of the best days of my life was when my aunt emailed to say she was sending me a ticket to go see her in San Francisco....and then those two weeks were amazing.....I felt so very lucky and so very spoiled and really loved.

    Another time that reminds me of how grateful I am to be here is when I was able to stand on my own two feet after a separation and divorce and know I was going to be ok and I could support myself.

    S xxxx

    1 person found this helpful
  19. Matchy69
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    8 February 2020 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hi Sarah i understand about how good it must have felt when you could stand on your own two feet after a divorce.That is such a difficult time in your life and stressful,i remember it well and all the sleepless nights,the anxiety.

    That was so great of your aunty to give you a ticket to visit her in San Francisco.What an amazing experience for you.

    Take care,

    Mark.

  20. Stressed Guy
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    60 posts
    11 February 2020
    One thing that people don't know about me is I love to write and have been writing short stories since I was a kid. I also write poems about various topics and one day I want to be a screenwriter as well as a published author.
  21. Aaronsis
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    11 February 2020 in reply to Stressed Guy

    Hey Stressed Guy and welcome it is great to have you here

    Being able to write stories is so wonderful and the ability to engage with someone's mind and have them create and enjoy the story is such a gift, that is so awesome that you can do that.

    Thank you so much for sharing that with us and if ever you want to share a snippet of what you have written or a poem that would be so great, I would enjoy reading that.

    I wish you every bit of success in being able to get some of your work published, that would be such a credit to you.

    Hope you have a great day and thank you for joining us here.

    Hugs

    Sarah

  22. Matchy69
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    16 February 2020

    Hi Sarah i hope you are ok i have been thinking of you.

    Your friend,

    Mark.

  23. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    9 March 2020

    Hi everyone, I only just saw this thread looking on the BB Social Zone so apologies for replying randomly and so late, I hope no one minds.

    To answer the questions:

    What is something that no one would know by looking at you?:

    That I listen to rock and metal music I guess?

    What was one of the best days of your life so far?

    Seeing my idol, Rob Thomas (solo singer and singer of Matchbox Twenty and Tabitha's Secret, band before Matchbox Twenty) in concert for the first time. Tried many times to go but finally had the chance. I wanted to meet him but it was so pricey.

    Hopefully others can reply here and we can all chat to some new people, thanks for the thread Sarah.

    Tayla

  24. Aaronsis
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    9 March 2020 in reply to Missing user

    Hey Tayla

    It is great to have you on the thread so welcome. Rock and Metal music wow, I love that type of music too although the hardest I get is probably Def Leppard...lol..what sorts of bands are your favorites?

    It is truly life changing when you get to meet an idol, whether that be a music idol or an author or a person who just has shaped and influenced your life, it really talks to your soul to be able to meet the very person who you really resonate with and who you respect so much.

    Thank you for sharing your story Tayla and feel free to put a question here for others to add to also.

    Hope everyone is doing well and enjoying the long weekend

    Hugs

    Sarah

    1 person found this helpful
  25. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    12 March 2020 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hi Sarah, and others here. My apologies for just replying now, I haven't been on the forums much so I'll have to catch up on my threads again.

    Yeah it sounds like a great feeling, would be a dream come true for me.

    Well I love lots of rock and metal bands. Here's some, I probably missed a couple, sorry if so. In no order really;

    Matchbox Twenty (hence my username).

    Rob Thomas (singer of MB20 & a solo singer).

    Tabitha's Secret (band before MB20).

    The Cure.

    Seether.

    Staind.

    Saron Gas (band before Seether).

    Birds Of Tokyo.

    Karnivool (both Aussie bands, same singer as Birds Of Tokyo but a bit heavier).

    Lifehouse.

    3 Doors Down.

    Fuel.

    Bush.

    Korn (their older stuff mostly).

    Elton John.

    Alice In Chains (with the original singer, Layne Staley.

    Mad Season (Layne Staley's other band).

    Pearl Jam.

    Metallica.

    Nirvana.

    Pantera.

    Down (Pantera's singers other band, well one of many).

    The Offspring.

    Slipknot.

    Stone Sour (singer of Slipknot's other band).

    Black Sabbath.

    Ozzy Osbourne.

    & many more I've probably forgotten, I usually do.

    Take care, sorry for just replying now.

    Tayla

  26. Aaronsis
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    13 March 2020 in reply to Missing user

    Hey Tayla

    WOW, that is sure a great mix of music and some of the bands you have listed I haven't heard of but some of them would come up in my favorites list too, you sure have a great and wide selection here. I think that is a real appreciation for music when you have so many different genres that you enjoy as you have here.

    Have a listen to Portishead, they are a band from my time but I think you will be able to find them, that is one of my faves and I think you might enjoy them too...let me know what you think.

    Have a great day Tayla and chat soon

    Sarah xxx

  27. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    13 March 2020 in reply to Aaronsis

    Hey Sarah.

    I'll look them up, thanks.

    Tayla

    1 person found this helpful
  28. Stressed Guy
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    60 posts
    28 March 2020 in reply to Aaronsis
    Thanks for the nice comment you wrote. I really appreciate it. I should've replied to your post sooner I'm sorry about that.

    In regards to publishing my stories it's going to be difficult. Not an easy career to get into lol. I guess it's trying to find an avenue to get my foot in the door.

    I'm not sure about posting a story or poem on here. I'm anxious of what others might think about my work. Maybe in the future.

    1 person found this helpful
  29. Aaronsis
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    29 March 2020 in reply to Stressed Guy

    Hey Stressed Guy

    There is no need for any apology at all, you can come to chat whenever you feel you like to.

    That is the great thing about this forum is that every one is so very supportive and if you wanted to share some of your writing I would really like to read it, only if you want to though. Writing is so very personal and it is hard to share some of those points of our lives as we do feel like we are opening up ourselves for judgement. It is tricky, but here you could try, if you wanted to.

    I actually did a painting yesterday, well three to be honest, I have never done any form of painting in my life so was kind of unsure as to where to start or what to do, but I just looked up a picture I liked and went with it. It is not great but I feel proud I tried something new.

    Great to chat to you some more.

    Sarah

  30. Stressed Guy
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    60 posts
    2 April 2020 in reply to Aaronsis
    Hey Sarah,

    Thanks for wanting to read my stories. What I said about people criticizing my stories has more to do with my brothers. They like to point out everything wrong with my stories and don't tell me anything they liked.

    I'm working on a website atm where I post some of my stories and poems. Is it okay if I post a link to that in a few weeks?

    Also, you should be proud of yourself for painting and trying something new. You should definitely keep it up in the future, especially if it made you happy.

    My name's John btw, I don't like hiding behind my weird alias stressed guy anymore.

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