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Forums / BB Social Zone / Croix Parler

Topic: Croix Parler

  1. Croix
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    15 November 2018 in reply to Ggrand

    Dear Grandy~

    I'm average, a few physical problems and a big hassle that is really stretching my coping mechanisms, hopefully matters will improve soon.

    Being awake during the night sounds pretty familiar, often the mind simply will not behave. So if Librivox has helped you I'm really pleased - thank you for telling me.

    I can across it years ago when I wanted to listen to Sherlock Holmes as I drove. Then I discovered they had heaps of SF short story collections, and things went from there.

    Sometimes the accent of the reader can make things difficult, however for many stories more than one person has recorded it. For something that is legal and very comprehensive I've no idea why it is not more popular.

    What do you call the marks a pod of Cetaceans might leave in the sandy sea bed?

    The prints of whales.

    Croix (Sorry about that)

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  2. Birdy77
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    19 November 2018 in reply to Croix

    Dear Croix,

    I am really sorry to hear that the big hassle in your life is still unresolved - having that uncertainty and stress in your life, and stretching on for such a long time, is a very uncomfortable and distressing place to be.

    I wish I was able to write you a message that might bring even a smidgen of the calm and hope that you bring to me every time I read a post of yours to others on the forums. You have such a gift, and I appreciate you a lot.

    I hope that you are able to try to stay in the present moment (even just occasionally).

    Ask yourself: Where am I? Answer: Here.
    Ask yourself: What time is it? Answer: Now.
    Say it until you can hear it.
    -Ram Dass

    Be well Croix.

    From one of your biggest fans.

    🌻birdy

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  3. demonblaster
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    19 November 2018 in reply to Croix
    Dear Mr Croixy ☺ hi other good people. Again I' ve been meaning to get back here before this.
    You've as many here have been in my thoughts. I read elsewhere and here your health problem is still causing you grief. For that I'm truly very sorry to hear this and hope with time and the good loving care you've said from your good wife is seeing you through closer to recovery.
    Because I care and like to share (just quietly, this is a bit of a stretch 😉) I'm giving you with no interest (and little interest sharing it if I'm honest 😆) a 🍫, (hear you about anything from ciggies to choccy bar 😅halarious) It doesn't matter if you're not a choccy lover, GIVE IT BACK ...Sorry meant to say being virtual it can be any flavour you desire. It has incredible healing powers and warm wishes of recovery.

    Croixy you're always helping so many others here and rl. Can't find who said you have a gift (expressing and big heart I think was the gist. Echoing that)

    Best to you, waiting can be hard but with time comes change, wishing full recovery good man 🤗

    Magic thank you, you have a knack of going straight to the heart with your kind lifting comments 🤗hope you're finding some peace and light now hun 🤗

    Btw Croixy it'd take an age to find it. Please could you and no rush tell me again why I've been having white space.

    Go easy good folk ⚘

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  4. Croix
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    19 November 2018 in reply to Birdy77

    Dear Birdy~

    I not only was pleased to see you post, but actually thought about what you said! I guess for most people there are unpleasant things that unfold from time to time, and it may be a quick result does not give one time to become used to the idea, where a delayed one does. (I'm trying to look on the positive side here:)

    I must confess I've probably been a little too confident of my coping skills and this is a reminder to keep working on them. Smiling Mind is good (though I suspect I'll wear out my phone using it) and unfortunately I'm not up for walks at the moment, though doubtless will be again in time. It's a pity, seeing the possums and bandicoots is always a way of gaining a little perspective.

    Your reminder of the here and now is what Smiling Mind tends to do for me, I'm hopeless without some sort of prompt. I'm reading a bit about Ram Dass thanks to you at the moment, an interesting person.

    Thank you Birdy

    Croix

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  5. Croix
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    19 November 2018 in reply to demonblaster

    Dear DB~

    Thank you for the virtual mystery packet with the incredible healing powers and a full range of flavors. It reminds me a bit of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans (which happen to come in a flip-top box).

    The fact they were given with such generosity - and no interest charged is much appreciated. I could not possibly give it back no matter what it is, would you want me to appear ungrateful? We walruses have miles of couth and would never do such a thing.

    I do remember someone called Dottie once gave me a virtual box of tissues, so if this object is virtually messy I've the means to virtually clean up after.

    If you have a lot of blank lines (white space) then you are probably leaning on the RETURN or ENTER key, or even the SPACE BAR, and having a little snooze. Snoozing is fine of course, but lift the finger off first.

    It was really nice to see you here, fell better for your (and Birdy and Grandy and eveyone's) attention and hope you are traveling OK at the moment.

    🐱‍👓, there a picture of Sumo Cat. I too can use emoji!

    Croix

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  6. demonblaster
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    20 November 2018 in reply to Croix
    😅 so glad to see Grandy and I are stocking up your emoji "collection" Croixy.

    Yes I know Dotti, often think of her and wonder how she's travelling. What a thoughtful gift from her and I see you've worked out how to put them to good use 😄(emojis)

    Something I'm in early stages with is if I can't physically do a pleasure like your bandicoots and possums I've been picturing the image in my mind, theory being I had pleasure at the time so hopefully sparks some happies like your fantastic happy memory thread.

    I wonder depending of course on your affected area if leg excercises in the chair with 😹 putty tats watching you could be of any aid.

    Good man trying to keep positive it can be quite an effort in hard times and glad for the reminder about Smiling mind I'll be downloading it before I go back to bed.

    Thanks 😆 re White space, absolutely nothing would surprise me with this gremlin infested tablet you wanna see the enourmous list I have for them under warranty thankfully, its tested my patients beyond but I haven't let it make me reach for the tissues. Funny some has come good but I have more delights happening. I'll keep in mind to enter in my 😴dreams to get off the buttons 😄

    Hold in there Croixy man you're very appreciated and cared for here and rl 🤗

    Good or better days wished for everyone 🌹

    🐧 this little cutey kind of co habitates with Walruses so thought it could keep you company when you're in need of light. It's called ... nah.. that's your homework ☺
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  7. Croix
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    20 November 2018 in reply to demonblaster

    Ta for the pic of the little cutey aardvark, actually I did not know they hung around with walruses, you learn something new everyday!

    -C (who does his homework OK:)

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  8. demonblaster
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    21 November 2018 in reply to Croix

    Hi Croixy ☺ hope todays an easier one

    Oop thinking more its from docos Mum and Dad enjoyed which are amazing we saw a few actually maybe not Walruses might be thinking of seals the large ones on the rocks there was gorgeous little penguins, they seemed to live in relative harmony.

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  9. Birdy77
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    22 November 2018 in reply to Croix

    Dear Croix (The Walrus of Abundant Couth),

    When there is a big problem hanging over you, it's extra hard to remain in the present, to not cast yourself forward to that uncertain future time that lurks unresolved, dark and menacing and overshadowing the present.

    It is stealing from you the precious moment of now.

    And now.

    And now.

    I do hope you are able to come back to yourself, again and again. Gently bring yourself back each time. Remind yourself where you are, what time it is.

    It's such a pity you can't get out walking at the moment. If you can get out and sit in the garden, sometimes I find the goings-on there can help bring me back to now: the bees visiting each flower, their sacks of pollen visible, the ladybirds, the ants working hard, the skinks loopily chasing each other ... if nothing else, it could bring some micro-seconds of calm.

    Looking on the positive side, you are getting lots of practice for your coping skills. I'm with you in it at the moment, without the maybe specific menace you are facing, my fear of some unnamed dread is building just now and I'm being constantly challenged to remain "here and now". Sounds so simple. I wish it was.

    Thinking of you Sir Croix.

    🌻birdy

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  10. Croix
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    22 November 2018 in reply to Birdy77

    Dear Birdy~

    That post of your was almost poetry, and had a calming effect, so thank you.

    It noes not hurt at all to be reminded of what anxiety steals away, and of things that help.

    An ongoing premonition of unnamed dread is a hard thing to deal with, there is of course no logic to consult, it comes down to trying to be the rudder the steers the mind, as you say no easy task when navigating whirlpools.

    Can you loose yourself in printed books or audio?

    Croix

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  11. Birdy77
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    29 November 2018 in reply to Croix

    Dear Croix,

    Thank you, yes I can often lose myself in the printed word, but when I'm in the firm grip of anxiety I find it so difficult to concentrate.

    I have found a site called world of books, full of second hand books. I have treated myself to a few which should arrive shortly, a sort of bribery for my mind, which is struggling with "navigating whirlpools" just now (love that imagery, thank you).

    Have you ever watched a bee working in an open globe artichoke flower head? I hadn't until the other day, and wish I could have videoed it for you. There were 4 bees working on the one head; there are many, many purple spikes (bracts? florets?), and to get to the pollen beneath, the bees land on top of the spikes and have to painstakingly drag themselves down each individual spike, collect the pollen and drag themselves up again, then onto the next spike. It was mesmerising to watch. I thought of you and being in the here and now.

    I hope you are finding calming ways to experience the present.

    🌻birdy

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  12. demonblaster
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    29 November 2018 in reply to Croix

    Croixy and hi all.

    Mr Croixy was thinking about you this morning and wondering, hoping you're on the improve ☺

    Take care and go easy on yourself 🌴

    Tweety that was neat hearing how those dear bees get the pollen. Really hope you come through your hard times soon tweety 💗⚘

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  13. Croix
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    29 November 2018

    Dear All~

    Birdy: betterworldbooks is one I've used a lot, it has tons of used US library books (some of my shelves look like a travel agent's dream) though I've well and truly run out of walls to build book cases against. Mind you this simply means I buy audio books instead.

    These do have the advantage of being more distracting and holding my attention when the mind wishes to spiral down in repetitive scenes of woe.

    DB: I'm glad you natural history education is broadening. As far as I know NZ has very little of anything, a kakapo or two and maybe the odd possum. Mind you I did see an English hedgehog there once. As a lad I used to leave out a saucer of milk for them at night, and at Christmas mince and egg too.

    In answer to your query I am improving a bit, ta for asking. I hope you and Birdy are too.

    Croix

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  14. Moonstruck
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    2 December 2018 in reply to Croix

    Just a quick hello Croix....I ordered Smiling Minds CD...(well it said it was a CD) online and eagerly awaiting it. when it came it was a CD yes....but....an MP3 CD...an "audio book" of the authors explaining all about the Smiling Mind App etc. It is useless to me because my CD player is just basic, won't play MP3 and I play it at bedtime to help me sleep with relaxation, meditation tapes etc.

    What I bought is not the Smiling Mind App in CD form anyway..so I have wasted my money. I don't want or need any audio books!

    I don't want to play an App on my computer or phone. I don't even have a Smart Phone. I want to play it beside my bed to help me sleep. I posted a question on Smiling Mind website whether the app is available in CD form...but no reply......

    apart from that how are you my friend? Driving to my usual "club" with appropriate music on the car CD a glimmer of the old Moonstruck is still there...just between tournaments...this ghastly Christmas season has to be "got through" first before we can all exhale and do what gives us pleasure again.

    I find no pleasure whatsoever listening to the carols in shopping malls...about sleigh bells and snow and the pressure to buy buy buy....and rubbing it in how Christmas is a time for "friends and family"...hang on there buddy....a lot of folk don't have friends or family...how do you think they feel with all this media and commercial crap emphasising what they don't have!!! It's mad....I hate it!

    "the time has come" the walrus said "to speak of many things".....anything but Christmas!!! luv from me xx

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  15. Croix
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    2 December 2018 in reply to Moonstruck

    Dear Moon~

    I'm afraid Smiling Mind only works on a smartphone, even a computer only has a limited version. So I guess your treasured Bakelite rotary-dial candlestick type with the earpiece you grasp in one hand whilst holding the speaking tube up to your mouth with the other is just not up to snuff:(

    I remember Janet saying "Arden Hoose" on one in the original Dr Findlay's Casebook (1962?).

    Maybe now might be a good time to by a cheap smartphone, I've no idea of the Moon finances of course, however a basic model is not all that much, and you can distract yourself over the xxxxxx season fiddling with it. Would one of your family have an old surplus one?

    I agree about all the hype. I've always believed xxxxx is one of the loneliest times of the year, for precisely the reasons you gave.

    Is there any chance of a seasonal bowls production to showcase your talents? As a kid I remember many such events.

    So how are you and the new (no doubt thoroughly spoiled) pet coming along?

    Croix

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  16. Moonstruck
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    5 December 2018 in reply to Croix

    Dear Croix...the bowling is in a sort of recess, but not for long, the sooner I get back the better..

    it must be noticeable that I haven't mentioned my new pet much...that is because (and I have to drop the mask here, sorry) I am secretly worried I did the wrong thing. I love him terribly of course and yes of course he is getting, has become attached and completely dependent upon me...a fascinating lovable little companion....but I have been asking myself if I got him for the wrong reasons.

    I have always been of the opinion that a pet can greatly help and heal and soothe a depressed person. That's obvious...it's wonderful, they're so giving and their love unconditional. But depression and anxiety are two very different things I've discovered, although they can go hand in hand and veer one into another.

    with my anxiety thru the roof, I have to wonder if I have acquired, selfishly, another thing to worry about, over-think, have paranoid thoughts, strive for perfection over, wonder what he "thinks" of me, if I am doing, buying etc the right things for him...etc etc. Have I just given myself one more factor to get anxious about? I don't know.

    I have to go out of town for a short while in the near future. i am now worried and anxious out of all proportions who I will choose to look after him? I am imagining 101 things that could go wrong, he will fret, the person will find him a nuisance, he will be traumatised, he will have to start to get to know me all over again, I won't enjoy myself when away because I will be constantly worrying about him and ringing the person to check....he will be on my mind 100% of the time.

    Croix, what have I done?

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  17. Croix
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    5 December 2018 in reply to Moonstruck

    Dear Moon~

    Whatever the reasons you have been busy overthinking I'm sure you did the right thing. Many people go away for a while and leave a pet in care (unless it is a crocodile or similar) and it is simply a normal part of life.

    Actually I've found many of our pets have settled down in catteries, kennels, aviaries and so on for the duration and been quite happy. Lots of new animals to talk to and people to be with.

    As for your motives, your pet won't mind whatever they were. Landing in a cushy home is not to be sneezed at.

    I guess you are in the 'shakedown period' As you get used to things the worries will recede.

    Croix

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  18. Moonstruck
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    6 December 2018 in reply to Croix

    Thanks...really felt we "bonded" early this morning...he trusts me and I am fast becoming the most important vital person/being in his tiny world...he's so small, still a baby really, relies on me for everything...and perhaps this is what I am so terrified of.....the getting closer, the deep commitment, the affection.....in case it means another loss. the price of love etc etc....I don't know if it is worth it...still confused about that!

    I knew before I got him, I could not do it half heartedly and casually.....i wish I could, I wish I could just say Oh he'll be OK...and put him completely out of my mind when engaged in something else......It's my anxiety thing....everything else about the pet is fine, no problems (for anyone else that is, but I'm evaluating every second of my day, as you know). ......

    oh, thanks for pointing out somewhere else about "vice" being a bowling term....fancy, you learn something every day don't you???...

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  19. monkey_magic
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    15 December 2018 in reply to Croix

    Just need a walrus to know I appreciate your powerful presence on my thread. U make a difference to my life. U have so much lived experience and it shows. Keep being you because it's beautiful and I love when I see you there. No pressure at all of course. Answers are coming to me. Some good nurses here and great people too. This psych ward experience has taught me a lot cleaning someone faeces and smelling bad smells and all just to use a toilet. I've learnt a lot about myself. MMx

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  20. Ggrand
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    16 December 2018 in reply to Croix

    Hello Croix, (waves to others here👋🙋🏻‍♀️..

    I decided last night, because of your great suggestion I would get out of the moment of my hospital room and do something to keep me busy..

    OUR FRIENDLY WALRUS...CROIX..

    Swimming around the ocean blue, and riding on the waves,

    If you look real close you’ll see him each and every day.

    He swims around in search of people who are down and feeling blue,

    He finds a lot and talks to them and believe me it’s not just a few,

    It runs into hundreds it’s me, it’s you, it’s everyone that he can find..

    He has a big and caring heart his words are gentle and very kind.

    So who is this man I’m talking about who’s always on the search.

    It’s our friendly walrus Croix, who loves to help us all and find us in his search.

    You’ll find him very easily he’s a walrus with two big tusks,

    He’s always looking here and there and really loves to help us.

    A forum champ, community champ he deserve his badge so much.

    So if you’re needing help or just a talk remember to keep in touch.

    With our dear resident walrus, who’s funny, smart a real great guy,

    Shy and timid I was of you for my respect for you is high,

    Im pleased you told me...don’t you dare be shy,

    For now I’ve met and got to know a truely amazing guy,,

    So thank you dear Mr Croix, our friendly forum walrus,

    For being the person that you are and helping all of us..

    Thank you for being you..Dear Mr Croix...💖🎀





















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  21. Ggrand
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    16 December 2018 in reply to Ggrand

    Oops..the first line should read..

    Swimming around beyond blue and riding on the waves..

    sorry...my bad..I didn’t proof read first..

    Grandy...

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  22. Croix
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    16 December 2018 in reply to Ggrand

    Dear MM and Grandy~

    You build me up too much, and fail to build yourselves up - which is a pity. When you consider your circumstances, some people would just shrink onto themselves and not react, not appreciate others, not make efforts, just go into a sort of maintenance mode.

    You don't do that, you see others and show appreciation, interact, and both of you from time to time have offered me your help.

    Actually you give it already, does not matter if it is cleaning s**t off a toilet, or having to get candy from someone else becuse the machine is off-limits, I look at you and hope that I would conduct myself as well.

    Can I talk about windows for a minute? This is just me, others will feel quite different. When outside the building they seemed to me to be almost prison bars, enclosing a restricted world I was about to join, and I guess in a way they were.

    Inside, standing looking out, seeing the hectic life, traffic, pedestrians, and all they were a protection, a barrier enclosing a fragment of peace, preventing overwhelming influences finding me.

    I'm not saying psych wards are all good, but sometimes they do help.

    Croix

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  23. Moonstruck
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    24 December 2018 in reply to Croix

    Merry Christmas Croix.....xx

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  24. Croix
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    25 December 2018 in reply to Moonstruck

    Dear Moon~

    Thank you, and I hope for you this year passes better than in the past.

    I remember the account of OW debating about the publication date of his The Ballad Of Reading Goal and suggesting January 1

    I think after Christmas would be better for publication: I am hardly a Christmas present.

    So a Merry Christmas to you too Ms Moonstruck.

    Croix

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  25. geoff
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    26 December 2018 in reply to Croix

    Hello Croix,

    I was just having a coffee break and noticed your caring response to Moon about one of the loneliest times of the year.

    Can I ask if you are referring to Christmas, as I am unsure what you mean by the x's.

    I have never been a fan of Christmas for my own personal reasons, yet I wish I would have posted in the Parler earlier.

    My best to you and your family for the festive season.

    Geoff.

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  26. Ggrand
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    26 December 2018 in reply to Croix

    Good morning Croix,

    i just wanted to wish you a Merry Christmas and hope next year for you will be a good year....

    Your Kindness and care is beautiful to me and a huge amount of people here...your truely a champion here and in real life...Thank you Dear Croix...

    Oh a few more for your collection...

    🕊peace.....

    💜 my gratitude and love,

    🤗giving you some hugs...

    Kind thoughts Dear Croix...💜🤗..

    Grandy

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  27. Croix
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    26 December 2018 in reply to Ggrand

    Thank you Grandy~

    To you and every one else reading I wish you the strenght and fortitude to cope wiht whatever life throws at you. Also the affection of others - and a little fun to brighten things up.

    Croix

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  28. Moonstruck
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    29 December 2018 in reply to Croix

    Hey Croix...it's over..its over, it's over!!! Hallelujah......it's taking time that's for sure...but gradually, slowly but surely...people are being more real, more relaxed, moving at a slower pace....even looking facially more at ease with life!! Yesss...you can guess whereof I speak....the dreaded "C" word!!

    Yay..oh Joy to the World...I can see a tiny glimpse of relief beginning to creep through the crap....and I have about 361 days to plan The Great Escape!! I will NOT be caught out again!!! HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!

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  29. Croix
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    29 December 2018 in reply to Moonstruck

    Dear Moon~

    You seem rather pleased. Hopefully in time the whole C thing will take a back seat and the word 'humbug' will remind you first and foremost of confectionery.

    Ta for the NY wishes, the same to you.

    Croix

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  30. Moonstruck
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    30 December 2018 in reply to Croix

    I love New Years Eve.....Auld Lang Syne has the power to bring me to tears..every time! very special....if you're awake at midnight, think of me, having a little cry...I am just so damn sentimental!...see you on the other side!

    1 person found this helpful

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