Your post moved me deeply.
You loved your Dad so much that 10 years later you are still missing him so much.
Father's day is coming up. I wonder how much your new baby has made you grieve because he is not there to share in your love and delight of your child.
When I was 19 my Mum died of cancer. I grieved terribly. She would never be there to see me graduate as a nurse or be at my wedding or be a grandma to my children.
The grief you feel shows how much you loved your Dad. That love is a precious thing.
You will always miss your Dad. Don't let him disappear. Talk about him to your children. Show them photographs of him and your family. This will mean a lot to your mother too. Make your memories of him keep him as someone still important to your family.
Is your partner understanding of your grief?
Make sure your Dad's name is mentioned. On special days like his birthday or Father's day do something in memory of him.
You will become busy with your family and the grief will become more bearable. It will always be part of you.
Your Dad wouldn't want you to stay forever so sad. Enjoy your new family. Help your Mum with her grief by sharing your new family with her.
Your Dad would be so happy that you have a kind partner and brand new child. Enjoy and care for them. Cherish your Dad's memory.
How wonderful that you cared for him so much. How wonderful for him to have been so loved by you. What a gift that is for you have given him. Cherish that thought.
You will be OK.
My sincerest wishes to you. 🌷