My boyfriend committed suicide 3 weeks ago. The pain, loss, guilt, loneliness, isolation from this grief is unbearable. Let alone having to come to terms that I'm all alone again. 45 single no kids and broken. He has left a big hole in my life and atm I don't even want to wake up in the morning and process that he's gone all over. I'm broken over the fact that i didn't get to say the things I should have. I didn't get to tell him that i loved him recently because I was frustrated and dragged down by his depression. Yes I am getting grief counseling and I feel that every body else closely affected has a partner or family to spend their nights with. He was my companion and now I'm all alone.