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Forums / Long term support over the journey / Anyone had to spend days alone without anyone to talk to?

Topic: Anyone had to spend days alone without anyone to talk to?

  1. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3212 posts
    26 January 2020 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws,

    I'm on late tonight my computer battery hasn't been charging properly.

    U3A = University of the Third Age. It's classes run for $30/year membership to mature age people in all sorts of things from history to languages to philosophy to knitting/craft, exercise classes, computer courses, you name it. They're hugely popular. So I was thinking of doing one of those - a literature or philosophy course. I wanted a history one but they aren't running one this term.

    I have the aircon on - it's enough to take the worst of the sting out of the heat, will see how it goes on a really hot day coming up later this week. Yes it's horribly humid with rolling storms here. I didn't see or attend a single Australia Day thing - I don't even know what was on here!

    The Kraken Wakes was a book I read and liked years ago, so I was wrong about disliking all Sci Fi wasn't I!

    Tail thumps from Woofa are fine. Take care!

  2. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    27 January 2020

    hey everyone, just wanted to say hi x

    Tayla xo

  3. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3212 posts
    28 January 2020 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy, Waves to Paws!

    How nice that you're having company with your brother - yes it's very lonely here today. I got increasing anxiety over whether to go to choir or join a U3A course (cost is thirty dollars each so that's a factor), the lawn needs mowing (that's at least sixty dollars, ouch) and what to do about the dogs at the fence. I think it all got too much so I decided not to go to choir tonight or join a class (I'm not coping well with the heat and we have a massive heatwave all week) and I didn't do anything about the lawn or the dogs... just gave up today. Anxiety through the roof. Homesick like anything.

    Made myself go to the shops for a coffee and then to the library - the library has a new Head Librarian and they've just introduced fees for overdue books or requests for loans -$6.50 for anything overdue, $3.50 for a reserve or interlibrary loan, ouch ouch. I used to know a couple of librarians and they were opposed to loans saying it made people feel the library was not a welcoming place. They're right, now I'm going to be very careful what I borrow, and if it means a reserve or interlibrary loan I'll probably just buy an old copy from somewhere like World of Books or eBay. So I came out feeling even more anxious! Oh dear.

    Will try to take poor Sam out for a stroll in the park later but we keep getting these rolling storms which make it difficult...

    I haven't heard of that book by Corey White and I'm waiting on the library getting the other book - I just got in before it cost me money to reserve it!!!! Yes will be good to talk about it once I get hold of it.

    You must be enjoying the tennis! Anyway my best wishes.

    What do you do when you have days like mine when you just feel super depressed and scared of I don't know what - just scared?

  4. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    28 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hey Hanna.

    Wow, I'm sorry to hear about all of that, that's awful. I hope things improve for you.

    I'm feeling that way today, so I don't have any suggestions myself, I'm so sorry. I hope you're alright and I'm sorry I can't think of anything right now. I do care and want to help though.

    Big hugs and love as usual to you and everyone,

    Tayla xxx

  5. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    28 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hiya - and big hugs straight up cos you sound like you're not in a good space today x

    Sometimes when I'm down and anxious and nothing seems to go quite right, I feel scared too. Mostly, I just wait for it to pass, which it will, and I don't do anything that doesn't NEED doing. Just give yourself permission to go "nah, not today". But of course, if you're in an unsafe headspace, please make sure you call one of the helplines. Just a voice on the end of the line is often enough to take the edge off the yukky feelings. I'm here too if you want to chat about anything. I'm in a blah mood today. Not a real low. Just low enough to stay indoors and only half watch the tennis.

    I also like to trawl the 2 threads filled with uplifting quotes, or browse the internet for them. Sometimes you strike one that's just right to give you a boost.

    How annoying about the new librarian hey? I didn't use my local library for ages, as I had a massive fine for late returns and couldn't afford to pay it. It's only recently I went in and they said they had changed their policy and wiped all debts - yay!!! It's silly to discourage people unless they're serial offenders wrecking or not returning things at all, and as for paying for loans - ridiculous! I get a lot of books from the Salvos. Have you tried there at all? If you have one. Ours has a high turnover and I often manage to get fairly recent releases too. Most books are $2, and I just return them once I'm done and they can sell them again. Feels nice to be able to give to charity too, in both regards.

    I hope you're able to get out for a walk with Sam, and it lifts your mood. Please check back in and just let me know you're going ok. Thinking of you and would happily keep you company in real life. Katy x

    ps. Hey Tayla, hugs to you too x

  6. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3212 posts
    28 January 2020 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy, (Waves to Paws - hope you're OK Paws!)

    Thanks for replying and maybe checking back later. Nothing so bad I needed to phone somebody, just a generalised floating anxiety... I think with the dogs at the fence/worrying about how to pay to get the lawn mowed/trying to work out whether to do choir or a U3A course - plus the heatwave again here - I got overwhelmed. I emailed an apology to choir - said I had a tummy bug! I don't know whether it would have helped me to be with a group of people tonight but I couldn't face it... trouble is, I actually hate performing. Love singing but absolutely hate going on stage. So I feel like if I attend the rehearsals and learn the music I can't really just not turn up at the concerts they put on. Eeek. I more and more realise the very slow pace of life I had in Small Coastal Town was sometimes a bit lonely and dull, but probably all I can manage. I now find joining something that I MUST attend makes me too anxious. Hence the trouble with choir tonight...

    The library notice really freaked me out. I absolutely agree with you, you only punish serious offences like deliberately and repeatedly keeping or destroying books. I had two retired librarian friends in Small Coastal Town and they were both opposed to fines, saying libraries should be a welcoming community space where people can feel safe - fines have been shown to discourage people from using the library. So yes I'll be more inclined to get a shabby cheap used copy from World of Books or Fishpond rather than risk a fine! There was a great op shop in the Coastal Town where I used to find books for one dollar - here they're not very good and hard to find parking, so I don't go much.

    My impression is there are rather a lot of fairly nasty people in this town - like the woman from Housing telling me off! Small Coastal Town was friendly... I'm suffering bad homesickness and feeling a bit sick about being stuck here..

    Sorry you're a bit blah today too. It sounds like you've been doing some nice things lately at the beach etc! Maybe you are a bit tired as well?

    I took poor Sam to the park, he's stuck indoors so much poor guy, he never wants to come home again...

    Yes I wish I could have you and Paws and a couple of others from BB living close by, I reckon we'd get on OK!

    Thanks so much Katy. I hope you feel a bit better soon too. What about a cuppa together in the café... take care xx hugs

  7. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3212 posts
    28 January 2020 in reply to Missing user
    Hi Tayla, I'm sorry you're still so anxious. I am not very well today. If I can I will find your post but I'm very tired today. It's a bit hard to follow what's happening as you post in lots of places - could you maybe try to post under the one heading so it would be easier to track what's happening with you? Under treatments or something like that? Then it would be easier to help you. Best wishes, you will be OK.
    1 person found this helpful
  8. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    28 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi Hanna

    Glad you checked in, I was a bit worried. Sorry you're having a down day.

    I don't want to go on about myself on your thread, but we have some things in common I guess. We're both a bit lonely and get anxious about things. I'm still getting used to not having my partner around, so I have up days and down days. I'm not good with people due to anxiety, so it was nice having my partner around. I had some company (and some help with the bills! lol), plus his dog was great company for my dog, who's wondering where her friends are gone. So I feel a bit lost. I liked my "small life", but now it's too small you could say. Whereas you seem to be ok with people, but not finding your niche and the people there aren't so nice. So we're both in this in-betweeny space, hoping things will get better. And I'm sure they will - let's think positive hey :)

    As for choir, I too, don't like to be committed to attending things which is why I don't even volunteer. Every position seems to want certain days/times and that makes me anxious. The U3A thing sounds pretty interesting though. Is there any reason you're not certain about it? Or perhaps everything is just too much today. Perfectly understandable.

    Anyway, glad you checked in, thanks. Cuppa in the cafe sounds great x

  9. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3212 posts
    28 January 2020 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy, it's not just my thread I'd like it if you felt you wanted to chat to come here. I'm wondering how long you've been without your partner (and his dogs, very important too). That must be very hard. I've always been single for reasons I won't explain here (some abuse as a child). But I've often wished I had family around me, or at least a partner. It's much easier for a couple to go out to a café, or make friends with other couples. Singles are always the odd one out...

    I'm actually socially anxious - I have very little self confidence - but I like it when it's not "small talk"- so things like a book club suit me because we have a set topic to talk about. Trying to chat at parties is the worst, I can't do it. I think I'm a typical introvert - we're good when we have a subject to talk about and lousy at small talk of any kind. But it's hard being a woman alone, you're always an easy target for bullies - in the flats where I lived in Small Coastal Town the men used to throw things at my windows at night to try to scare me, and call out obscenities when I was walking to my car, that sort of thing, it was awful. I guess that was a big part of what drove me away. I thought a house with in a normal street would be much nicer. I guess it is but it's in the wrong town!!!

    I didn't really find a U3A course that I wanted to do this term, but then I wondered if it would suit me better than the choir in terms of talking to people and having a subject to talk about - but I was too late for the normal enrolment so it was getting complicated, and I couldn't afford the cost of U3A plus the choir, and I didn't know which to choose, and in the end it got too hard yesterday and I decided not to commit myself to either at least for today. I'm still dithering over choir next week...

    I've been anxious since childhood, as long as I can remember. I think my Mum had MH problems badly. I had psych sessions from age 23 to only a few years ago to cope with panic attacks and depression/anxiety. Unfortunately I went through a terrible time before I found Small Coastal Town and ended up in a caravan park there which was such a nice, caring community I would have stayed there forever if I could have afforded it. I am still trying to work out a way back or to somewhere coastal... I can't see myself making friends here easily.

    Where you live sounds rather nice. Have you always lived there? Thanks for checking on me tonight. Hugs from us both here xx

  10. Hanna3
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    3212 posts
    28 January 2020 in reply to Missing user
    Hi Tayla, you're not doing anything wrong - it was just a suggestion if you posted about your problems with the psych and therapy etc in maybe one thread, so it's easier for people to follow, and by all means you are always welcome chat in the café and wherever else you like on BB. That's what we're all here for! I'm sorry you're so worried, I think you were getting some good advice from some of the others, just try not to be so scared, I'm sure your psychiatrist is perfectly happy to keep seeing you, but maybe give some thought to trying something he/she is suggesting that might help you? I know it seems scary, but maybe give something a try and see? You're clearly a nice person, you love animals, the town you're in doesn't seem to be a happy place for you. There's no need to stop posting on BB. Ok? Furry hugs from Sam xx
  11. Hanna3
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    3212 posts
    28 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi Katy, I meant to say it must be a difficult transition for you going from being with a partner to being alone. It sounds to be like you're doing an amazing job at it! And yes we can both relate to being anxious and especially over being committed to things. I can understand about volunteering, I get put off for that reason and also because I've often found that groups of women (as volunteer places often are) can be rather nasty...

    Pats to Storm and hugs from us both here. xx HUGS

  12. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    29 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hanna, yes there's only so many things that are good to do on your own! My partner left in October. He had a change of heart and came back for a bit, but left again three weeks ago, so I'm still getting used to things. The days feel kind of long and hard to fill up, and it's hard to get used to the silence too. But uni will start again in a few weeks and that will keep me busy.

    What a shame you couldn't stay living in your old town, and the new one has been such a disappointment. I've been here over 20 years now and there's lots to love about it. But, it's also become so familiar that I couldn't imagine living anywhere else. That being said, there's a lot of changes taking place here and I'm not a fan of progress. Even the traffic seems worse, and I moved away from the city to get away from that.

    Socially anxious - I'm the same, and like you I've always been that way. It's definitely easier when you're doing something that has a focus, I agree. Although I feel like I'm getting worse the older I get! It's like I've become so uncomfortable in my own skin that I'm buzzing and can hardly get a word out. That's why I like yoga. A whole hour of being around people and I don't have to say anything! haha

    Anyway, almost midnight here. I've been reading my book. I hope you wake up and the day seems a little better than today. Talk later, Katy x

  13. Hanna3
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    3212 posts
    29 January 2020 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy, a quick reply before I take Sam out for a morning walk in the park - it's going to hit close to 40 today oh help...

    All this has happened only recently for you, no wonder you're finding it a tough time. It must be very hard. May I ask how long you were together? The things I don't like are not having anyone with me when I'm anxious about something, or need to make a decision about something, or whatever, and would just like some backup and support - and I always come home to an empty house. That part is hard. I've always kept a pet of some kind for that reason, even if it was only a budgie, but something alive to be there and be a companion. I don't know what I would do without Sam. And all my friends have family over for Christmas, and talk about their grandchildren, and gradually we've just grown apart because I can't do any of those things or talk about my kids or their children.

    You'll be glad when Uni goes back and your final year yay! I wish I had something to study or focus on...

    I think I didn't appreciate Coastal Town enough but that's a long story. I desperately regret moving here. Someone else here said that "nothing is forever" and I kind of cling to that - there's a way out somehow, just not at the moment.

    I looked up that book you mentioned with the unusual title "The prettiest horse in the glue factory" and the library has two copies, both out on loan at the moment. I thought it sounded interesting if it's not too depressing. How are you finding it? I'm almost scared of loaning a book from the library now but I put a reserve on a copy...

    They say we get less resilient as we age and I think that's very true - my anxiety is getting worse, it's an age thing in part. I loved what you said about yoga - a whole hour with people and you don't have to talk!

    People here are getting cabin fever from being shut indoors away from the heat for months now and this week is going to be dreadful - will take Sam for a brief stroll in the shady part of the park now as it will be horribly hot by later. Take care xx

  14. monkey_magic
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    29 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3
    Morning Hanna3,

    I like that quote- " nothing is forever" and that there's a way out somewhere. That really helps me in the situation that I'm in and I have to remember that.

    Enjoy your doggie walk before it gets too hot.

    I would love to live in a coastal town.

    :-)
  15. Katyonthehamsterwheel
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    29 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi Hanna (hi monkey!)

    Oh gosh, another hot day for you! It would be getting a bit much for people by now. No wonder there are cranky people in your town!

    I've been up and walked Stormy early, so she'll be more settled while I do a bit of housework this morning. I haven't started the Corey White book yet - still reading the Bakkeid one. I did read the first page in the shop before I bought it. I always like to check out the writing style first, which looked pretty good. I also hope it's not depressing, as it's not the sort of book I'd normally pick up - but I was intrigued by the title.

    I really wanted to watch a movie last night to chill out but I've got a blocked ear after I went swimming the other day so I'm finding it hard to hear, and couldn't find anything good with subtitles lol. I'm not in the mood for a gp visit either so was hoping it would sort itself out. Bugger. Anyone got any good home remedies?

    My partner was a good source of support in regard to my anxiety. He would encourage me, tell me it was ok when I couldn't manage, and sometimes do the things for me that I couldn't do. But he also cited my poor mental health as the reason for leaving, so that was hard. I think about all the things I'll have to try and manage now on my own, without knowing that anyone is there for me. He drove me to yoga the first time, and sat in the car and waited. I probably wouldn't have gone otherwise. Anyway, I'll just have to be super brave I guess. I've often thought it would be nice if Stormy could come with me places. I think in America people have support dogs, but I don't think that's a thing here.

    Well, a few cool days here and maybe a few drops of rain, so glad I have books, tennis and maybe some gardening to keep me entertained. Hope today is a good one for you. Hugs, Katy

  16. Hanna3
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    3212 posts
    29 January 2020 in reply to monkey_magic

    Hi Monkey, yes someone said that to me here on BB and I think it's pretty true that you can find some way out of a situation somehow (not talking about terrible illnesses etc) but in terms of getting out of a situation or place... it helped me anyway...

    Just back from walking Sam and getting in some groceries. This morning wasn't too bad, the heat is setting in now. Sam's better for the morning walk, he'll have a sleep through some of the worst of the heat now.

    Hope whatever your situation is gets better Monkey! Cheers mate!

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  17. Hanna3
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    3212 posts
    29 January 2020 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy, I realised I didn't word my post to you very well, you're only in your forties I think and I spoke about anxiety worsening with age... but I do think I couldn't cope now with the sort of full time responsible work I was doing in my thirties and forties. We do lose resilience. I think more likely what you've just recently gone through has made yours flare up and no wonder.

    I used to get a blocked ear from swimming, I used to tip my head over that side and try to wiggle the ear a bit - eventually it will unblock itself, or it should.

    I do the same thing with a book - read the opening to see how I like the style and sound of it. Shows how important the opening paragraph of anything is!!!

    I was going to ask if you had any friends/good neighbours there, but you say you have tennis which sounds social. Is there much of a support network there for you? I'm certainly missing one here.

    And yes maybe it's the too hot then too cold weather here that makes people sour or cranky!! I hadn't thought of that. I think maybe the beach relaxes people...

    You know how I've wished Sam could go with my places here - in Coastal Town he went everywhere with me, I just got known as "the lady with the little dog" and that was fine. I did know an elderly lady who got a letter from her doctor to say she needed her dog with her and that was enough for her to go into a shopping centre with her, but I think the shopping malls here would scare Sam - everything in Coastal Town was in the main street and the cafes were mostly outdoor - no indoor shopping malls.

    I hope you have a pleasant day despite the ear. You are lucky with cool days we are in for apparently the worst heatwave yet from tomorrow on, with the nights not cooling down at all, it's going to be a shocker. I've put off ringing up someone to mow the lawn both out of anxiety (I find it so intrusive when they come) and because next week is then meant to get cooler - I think it's too hot to expect people to be out mowing in this heat.

    I hope Paws is OK, she usually posts around here but hasn't been lately...

    Sam and I had a nice stroll in the park this morning, ran into a couple of friendly people to say hello to. Now I'm going to have some lunch and a bit of a rest... cheers for now xx

  18. monkey_magic
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    29 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3
    Hi Hanna,

    Hopefully my situation does get better. It's all the waiting that's the problem. April will be a time when my treatment either stops or continues. I really hope it stops because I suffer terrible side effects and have been misdiagnosed.

    Lucky Sam having you as a mum.

    It's gotten hotter up my way, just put the air- cond back on.

    Almost time to get ready for work too and drive the long distance to and from in traffic.

    I just really miss the way I used to feel. This medication really messes with me it's so unfair. It makes it challenging to live everyday life.

    Anyway I hope u enjoy the rest of your day today.

    MM
  19. Paw Prints
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    29 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hello Hannah, wave to everyone,

    Grrrrr I definitely agree that public libraries shouldn't charge fees unless someone is a serial offender, as for charging to reserve a book or inter library loan, that's part of their job for pity sake. OK I'm off my soap box.

    How are you coping with the heat lass.... Is the new air con making any difference....

    How lovely to hear you met some friendly people in the park.... finally ....good to know they do exist in your town. 😊 Seriously though, that would go a long way towards making your walks with Sam more enjoyable knowing you can meet nice people. Just a thought, but I wonder if, when you find yourself missing the things you liked about the coastal town, instead you made yourself think of the things that made you leave "men used to throw things at my windows at night to try to scare me, and call out obscenities" it might help you feel you made the right choice in moving away, rather than wishing yourself back there.

    Thanks for explaining the U3A, I think I will give it a look & see if it might have something to interest me.

    Like you & Katy I can relate to being anxious over being committed to do things. Even trying to set myself commitments (like I will mow tomorrow) throws me off balance & usually results in me doing nothing at all. The local people invited me to join a number of things when I moved here, all of which I had to turn down. The hardest part was not being able to tell them why & worrying ever since that they would think me snobbish or uncaring. I do wish I was brave enough to talk about my mh in r/l as openly as I do here.

    Speaking of my mh, I spent the last day or so in bed as everything was "too hard" & "pointless". Thankfully today I am "much betterer" as they say. I hope your anxiety has eased off as well.

    Hugs

    Paws

  20. Hanna3
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    3212 posts
    29 January 2020 in reply to monkey_magic

    Hi Monkey, I feel for you, medications can make you feel awful.

    Yes we have a horrendous heatwave heading this way, it started this afternoon 40 degrees now and that's just the start for the next week it gets hotter.

    I dragged poor Sam here from the coast so actually I feel like an awful Mum to him poor guy - but he is loved!

    Hope things improve for you Monkey. Take it easy in the hot weather... cheers!

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  21. Hanna3
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    3212 posts
    29 January 2020 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws,

    I've been wondering how you are, it's good to hear from you. I'm sorry you've had a bit of a downer, they seem to be going around... I've put off getting the lawn mowed because it costs sixty dollars, and it's going to be soooo hot all week and maybe the grass will die off a bit in this appalling heat (might be wishful thinking but it's definitely wilting today).

    Yes just sometimes I run into someone friendly in the park, trouble is I never seem to run into them again. I truly never do, and I don't know why. I truly think the move here was a mistake, I can't imagine how to make friends here much, the traffic is dreadful (I guess when I came to look at the house because it was snowing everyone was indoors) and some of the areas in town are quite slum-like. Depressing after leaving such a beautiful place. I am waiting for autumn, but I can't imagine a future here.

    Meanwhile I'm getting used to a lot of time alone. The local Anglican cathedral is a beautiful modern building with good acoustics and they have affordable concerts quite often - there's a chamber orchestra coming out from Germany putting on some lovely classical music, so I'll go to that, the library is having a free movie screening afternoon for people over 50 so I'll go to that, so I just figure I'll enjoy the nice things that I can do, and still try to think of how to get away eventually.

    I enrolled in a couple of courses with U3A when I came here but then missed them because I had influenza. This term they didn't have much of interest on offer. One pleasant lady in the park told me her group had lunch together at the local club where her course was held at the end of the hour's talk, which sounded quite pleasant. You might have some decent courses on offer near you if you look. They hold 3 semesters a year usually. I'm hoping next semester, starting in the autumn, might be better. I wanted to do a history course of some kind.

    I so agree about the library! I went to the shopping mall this afternoon to get a couple of grocery items and sit in the aircon for a while, and I went and bought a book from Big W which I shouldn't do, but it was safer than borrowing it from the library! It's really off-putting to walk in and the first thing you see is a big sign of threats of fines - makes it so unwelcoming.

    I know what you mean about anxiety being interpreted as being unfriendly - if only we could just explain!

    So glad you're back and a bit better. Pats to Woofa. xx

  22. Hanna3
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    3212 posts
    30 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hi Katy!

    I had an attack of wanting to treat myself with something yesterday, so I wandered into Big W and found that book The Prettiest Horse in the Glue Factory and bought it. Wow so far what a story! Thanks for the tip about it.

    Am a bit off colour today so taking it quietly, just back from taking Sam to the park for a morning walk. Have decided I'm really over-tired, so will contact choir and excuse myself from it for the time being, big relief! They were a friendly group but I realize I am super tired with the long hot summer, the smoke and dust storms, it's really been a bad start and I was already tired from the influenza before Christmas. So I'm giving myself permission to have a break from anything compulsory for a while! Which actually feels really nice. I'll just take myself to the nice things like the Vivaldi concert in a couple of weeks, the book club, that sort of thing.

    I hope that young lass who was posting is OK, she seems to have gone. Poor thing to be so lonely.

    I meant to say, do you have many friends where you are? I had a friend who lost several friends when her marriage broke up as people more or less had to choose between her or her husband's friendship... As a single woman I find the best friends are other single women - single never married/divorced/widowed, but they need a woman friend as they don't have a partner to depend on. Anyway that's been my experience, to find other women who live alone.

    Hope all is well with you. I think the heatwave makes me feel a bit off colour as I don't sleep well. The aircon really helps in the late afternoon/evening in the loungeroom. Am up to series 3 of The Bridge - isn't she wonderful the main actress, the way she uses her face to show expression!

    So all the best, pats to Storm! xx

  23. Hanna3
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    3212 posts
    30 January 2020 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi again Paws,

    Hope you're OK today. You did make me think a bit. I did arrive at a bad time here - first dust storms, then being very close to one of the biggest fires this summer meant weeks and weeks of smoke, ash and dark skies so you had to drive with headlights on in the middle of the day, now rolling severe heatwaves - and of course the drought on top of it all. No wonder it's all been a bit of a shock!

    Just replied to Katy, that I'm giving myself permission to have "time out" as I'm super tired. Will opt out of choir for the time being, just do the nice stuff, the concert, the book club, walks with Sam in the park. About a week ago was the first time I had seen blue sky in the whole time I've been here because of the smoke and dust!

    Looking forward to autumn which should be crisp nights and mornings and nice days... will find some nice walks with Sam, and hope to be able to check out a few towns around the area as autumn is a nice time to do that. Maybe can do a U3A course next semester. But it feels a relief to just give myself permission to rest a bit and not commit to anything - it's been such a summer and it's still going on for another month.

    I hope Woofa is well. I'm going to have a lie down now as just the walk in the park made me tired - I don't sleep well in the hot nights. Take care xx

  24. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    30 January 2020

    Hi everyone.

    I spent a few days off these forums, well I was reading all the comments. Not sounding selfish just saying how I feel & putting myself down. Just have a lot going through my head & feeling terrible (physically too).

    Tayla

  25. Katyonthehamsterwheel
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Katyonthehamsterwheel avatar
    1565 posts
    30 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Good morning Hanna

    You sound a little more cheerful today. It sounds like you've worked through some things in your head and found a way to be a little more positive. That's awesome. It is really lovely that you've found other nice things you can do on your own and I imagine you'll organically meet people through those events anyway.

    Glad you're loving the Corey White book too. I haven't started it yet! Still finishing the other one. I've also been busy with the tennis. I don't play, just watch the Australian Open on the tv. There's been some really great games on.

    I don't have any friends, no. As I've said, I'm not good with people. My partner and I just kept each other company. He wasn't sociable either. I'm actually really quite terrible at meeting people. I've always been a shy, nervous type, but I think that as my self-esteem has gotten worse due to not working and dealing with anxiety/depression, my ability to interact with people has worsened also. When I meet people I'm a nervous ball of stuttering, blushing energy and I can't seem to get words out. Not a great first impression! Anyway, will just have to keep working with my psychologist on trying to 'put myself back together again'. For now, I have my dog, my brother who has his son part-time - they're good to hang out with, and yoga classes, so it's not too bad really.

    Good on you for giving yourself permission to just take care of your mental wellbeing. I love that! Hope you perk up after your nap. Hugs to you and Sam x

  26. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3212 posts
    30 January 2020 in reply to Missing user
    I sent a hello on your need help between psychiatrist sessions thread Tayla. Best wishes!
    1 person found this helpful
  27. Missing user
    Missing user avatar
    30 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Thanks Hanna.

    I'll check all of the threads & reply.

    Sorry for not coming on here for a bit.

    Tayla

  28. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3212 posts
    30 January 2020 in reply to Katyonthehamsterwheel

    Hi Katy,

    I'm glad you have your brother and his son. I've been missing the tennis, I used to like watching it with a friend in Coastal Town, I don't seem to enjoy watching it alone any more! Sounds like I've missed some great tennis.

    You probably just need say one good friend to go out with that you feel really comfortable with and that support would help you enormously. I'm really only like that at parties where I'm hopeless - as you said, I need a focus then I'm fine! Hopefully you'll meet someone eventually and that will be a bit of a help. Meanwhile our dogs are wonderful companions and there's always here to chat...

    They had people out in the shops demonstrating the military veterans' assistance dogs again today, wonderful how they are trained as soon as they sense anxiety to get up on their hind legs and put their front paws on their owner's chests to reassure them. Also when facing someone else directly - which is alarming for some veterans with PTSD - the dog immediately stands in front of his owner, so there is a safe block between the owner and the other person. Dogs are clever!

    Awful heatwave here I am getting more and more tired as I can't sleep properly at night. Poor Sam not coping well either. Oh for autumn! Take care xx

  29. Paw Prints
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    Paw Prints avatar
    1647 posts
    30 January 2020 in reply to Hanna3

    Hello Hanna,

    Giving yourself permission to pace yourself is a great idea, especially given how much you have been struggling to get a good nights sleep with the heat.

    It was hot & horrible here today, more tomorrow with humidity & same again Sat. Thankfully though not hot enough to make my toothbrush handle hot like yours. Woofa kept wanting to go outside, but whenever I opened the door for him he would take a couple of steps forward then quickly turn around back inside. We've been getting the strange yellow/orange colour sunsets here too, I've been putting it down to the smoke. How is your new air con coping with the heat there.

    I hope hope Sam enjoyed his dunk in the laundry tub. Do you freeze treats for him to have? Oh while I remember I've been meaning to ask did you get the lick mats for him to try?

    Disaster here, I've run out of dog food (long story about why delivery hasn't arrived.) he got his evening meal, but there's now only about a cup left. I'm hoping the nearby general store will have some, but they don't always stock any. So I may have to do the hour long drive into town 1st thing just for dog food.

    Pats for Sam

    Paws

  30. Hanna3
    Hanna3 avatar
    3212 posts
    31 January 2020 in reply to Paw Prints

    Hi Paws, it's 40 degrees here at 11am!!! Just back from taking Sam to the park but everyone is struggling with the heat, it's quite muggy here too, each person I passed just said how hot and stifling it is...

    Sam's on a special diet from the Vet which costs a small fortune and I always worry they're not going to have it in when I need it - I have to remember to order it in and then I have to have enough money to pay for it!

    He hates being dunked in the water but feels much better afterwards. I had three cool showers last night and ended up sitting in a deck chair right in front of the aircon as it was struggling to stay cool it was so hot here. What a dreadful summer.

    Yes we had a bit of silliness in the BB Café last night, it was so hot that was all I was up for - but it's pleasant sometimes to just fool around with the others who post, it's kind of nice.

    I didn't find the lick mats, he's got a cool mat and I keep a bowel of water frozen overnight and he enjoys licking the ice and when it melts the water is very cold, so that works well.

    I can't seem to get enough to drink in this weather and it's so tiring! One of my friends in Coastal Town has had enough and is moving overseas to live... she's after a cooler climate.

    Not much news here, hope you are OK in this weather and pats to Woofa! xx

    Yes I'm going to email someone in the choir and say I have some health issues and would like to defer joining until the weather is cooler...

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