Good Morning Everyone,
Right now it is trying to rain here. It hasn't happened for so long, it is like the sky is trying to make up its mind if it really wants to rain or not!
Busy day for me today. I will be off tot he pain clinic, I think we are having a chat with Dr. this morning, not sure really. I can tell you more later. Catching up with a friend who lives in that area than home to start the next lot of homework.
My study is on caring for the elderly, a course my employment lady has put me on. My Dr. wants to know what care I will be able to give with my back condition. I did mention to the Employment lady I had to give up aged care due to increased degeneration and pain levels escalating. She told me aged care facilities now have lifting machines. I asked her how she thought the people got in those machines in the first place!
Hopefully the study will be diverse enough for me to find a role where lifting is not required, as the course does seem to cover a lot of support roles besides just physical caring for people.
DB my usual Dr is back again next week, I have an appointment booked to see him. Will see what he says about the ticker business. The chest pain seems to have settled again so that is a good sign. Problem is the issue doesn't always present itself while I am at the Drs!
Yes, it is good for me to stop doing physical work when I know it is hurting my back. In a way It is a kind of self harming for me. Why I do it I don't know!
Chloe it is a bit like you pulling out your hair. Why do we do these things? Why do we feel the need for pain or to harm ourselves? For me I know it is the mental health issues I have and also my low self esteem and feeling like for some silly reason maybe I don't deserve to be happy or in a good place so I harm myself.
Chloe, I hope you will find ways to believe you do not have to do those things. I now try to be more aware and change what I am doing. If I am abusing my back in the garden, I sometimes stop, ask myself what I am doing, than find something more pleasurable to do.
I might pickup the hose and water the garden, nurturing the plants, doing something good. Are there things you can put in place at home to help you when you feel like that? Could you give yourself a head massage instead or brush your hair, or do something totally different to distract yourself?
Are you getting help with your anxiety from a professional? Sorry, I haven't caught up with your thread to know the answers to this.