Thank you Quirky and Mrs D... Reading your posts helped yesterday. I was feeling a bit crap.
Quirky I've missed reading your posts. How are you coping since the fire?
You mentioning 'Same old' helped a lot. I get that feeling sometimes and get in moods where I just want to change everything in my life radically. And it backfires on me because I need routine to feel well. Last time it happened I shaved my hair off which I regret. Keep wondering if the psychiatrist is onto something putting me on bipolar meds. They seem to help somehow.
Mrs D when you wrote about choosing a pathway different to what we create in our minds it made me think about something unrelated but something I realise now is a problem. I hadn't seen it till now. So thank you.
My problem is creating daydreams to distract myself. I'm not present a lot of the time and hours can pass without me realising.
Yesterday was a bad day. I had one of those nightmares where you want to wake up but can't. Thank goodness my hubby shook me awake. I was soaked in sweat. It took me an hour to fully wake up.
At work I made myself focus. Realised how absent I usually am. I suspect most days I work on autopilot. It made sense why hubby gets so annoyed. If he was absent with our kids and I it would upset me too.
Trying to be present I made myself visit a friend today rather than retreat home and go blank like I wanted to. It was nice and I have missed her. I'm absolutely drained (three kids and a friend wanting attention I find hard) but it was worth it.
Hopefully I can give my kids and hubby my attention and set aside time before bed to have time alone.
Have a lovely weekend everyone.