Good morning to you all; isn't it a beautiful sunny day? It is where I am..
Some more on Nicks' (Wantalife) post; separating myself from the opinions and attachment issues with others has been a battle. I went to a Buddhist Retreat a couple of yrs ago and while there I 'received' an insight during meditation; I wrote it quickly on a little piece of paper. It read;
'Allow others to suffer for their lessons are not yours. Use empathy and discernment, not sympathy.'
It took me a long time to understand what this meant 'to me'. As time went on though, this tid-bit of info taught me to step back and discern what involved me, and what didn't. The word 'discernment' was my saving grace. It told me I had the power to walk away when in my best interest, and when to give without taking from myself.
Sympathy: Taking on the problems of others as if they're your own.
Empathy: Imagine walking in their shoes, and supporting them to help themselves.
Training myself to change strategies when dealing with people was really difficult. There were many times I broke down with a war going on inside me re right and wrong, and trying desperately to go from selflessness to selfishness.
Posting on BB has been a God-send; teaching me the difference between sympathy and empathy.
One of my greatest lessons though, was not exposing myself too much. This has been a huge effort because I did this all the time and 'advertised' myself as, well, desperate and easy. The little girl inside crying for help, attracted those who wanted to feel big. When my adult rose, those people abused to bring me down again. A horrible cycle.
So now I protect my inner child by listening, watching and learning who others are, then discerning if and when that person is in my best interest to be around.
Standing out in a crowd isn't always a good thing, nor is being in the middle spinning around trying to keep tabs on everything. Being on the outer edge gives a better view of situations, and doesn't attract attention.
I have many times over exposed myself on this thread, but anonymity gives boundaries and a sense of safety.
Ok, I just lit 2 ciggies one after the other. Doh! :-P Blood sugar depleted...must eat.
Love you all...Sara xoxo