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Topic: This bipolar life

  1. quirkywords
    Community Champion
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    quirkywords avatar
    14677 posts
    16 October 2021 in reply to wail

    Wail as Asdff says you are a champion in your family. If the truth is known about your niece it will hopefully help in the end. Did her behaviour deteriorate in last 30 months, or has she been like this for longer. .?

    Aries sorry about your friend, I think as we ages we miss those who knew us when we were young.

    velvet I hope you stayed on your couch for a long while. I am sitting on my couch after 7 hrs on my feet in op shop.

    Hugs and support for all those who need it.

  2. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    16 October 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    I agree. Wail is a champion. A legend. An all round good human. Good taste in tunes too!!!

    I couched then went and did some cleaning up of rhe backyard: dog debris haha.

    I saw a friend today. One of my cool ones. She hasn't seen me in a couple of months.

    "You look the healthiest I've seen you look in a very long time." Because we have finally got it right with my health. Control the underlying drama and the rest has fallen into place.

    I'm back on the couch.

    1 person found this helpful
  3. quirkywords
    Community Champion
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    quirkywords avatar
    14677 posts
    16 October 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Velvet
    It is such an achievement to reach that level of health. I have had it at times but never consistently.
    Wail ,thinking of you and hope you find peace and sleep in the night.

    Has your niece been living with you for most of her life.?

  4. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    16 October 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    I think the key is sitting on the couch with a pile of chuppa chups.

    I bought a huge tin of them.

    Haaha

    1 person found this helpful
  5. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    16 October 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Blah blah blah

    Blah blah.

    Blah

  6. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    16 October 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Asked for a new coordinator re dog people.

    Seems I'm not allowed to explain why.

    I've been pushed enough by people lately.

    I'm so over it.

  7. wail
    wail avatar
    190 posts
    17 October 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    I can hear the church bells ring and today the sound annoys me. Velvet I also had a friend visit yesterday and what she said as she left gave me bad sleep, "broken people save broken people". Last night I remembered Aries words that he 'burned him for self preservation' and I began to think about all the unusual situations that people with bipolar find themselves in. My brain is trying to find a way accept my nieces behavior- I reckon I was hit as I fit the mother role and she has mummy issues. That's my first guess?

    Quirky- niece has lived in an apartment behind our house since birth about 36 months since the episodes began, we have been in denial blaming puberty and covid, we are all silly ostriches. I hear op shops do a lot of trade on Saturday, was it 7 hours run of your feet? And good on you Velvet for requesting a new coordinator I really hope you get what you need. Aries I wish you peace for another day. Please let good come to us all.

  8. quirkywords
    Community Champion
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    quirkywords avatar
    14677 posts
    17 October 2021 in reply to wail

    Wail,

    I sometimes think that people hurt those who care the most as they know they will always love them.
    The shop was closed for lockdown so lots of donations now.
    velvet I hope the new Coordinator works out.
    Aries Asdff wail velvet Lisa and all those reading , have a relaxing Sunday with no overthinking.

  9. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    17 October 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Hopefully I get a new coordinator soon. This chick triggers me. Brings up some long ago workplace bullying trauma I went through. She is exactly like the other person I endured. No point explaining it to them. She only wants to be heard and not hear others. She wants my compassion and understanding to her life circumstances but hasn't heard a thing I've said about mine. That's not including her "professional" communications as well. She will cost them volunteers if she hasn't already.

    Broken people definitely save broken people. It's because the broken understands what it's like and so desperately want to help the other broken person because no one helped them. I hope that made sense.

    I barely slept she has triggered me so much. I'm going to the gym soon.

    I hope there has been positive progress regarding your niece Wail.

  10. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    17 October 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Question. Not sure who to ask.

    If a much younger female calls you "hun" all the time in their really condescending communication..... that's also demeaning yeh?

  11. asdff
    asdff avatar
    1051 posts
    17 October 2021 in reply to quirkywords
    I’m tired and sore. I’m on the way down. I’m too sore to go to the gym and it’s my my mood regulator. I can cook but my husband hates when I make a huge mess. Oh well, ride the wave. I know I’m on the way down into depression.
  12. asdff
    asdff avatar
    1051 posts
    17 October 2021 in reply to asdff
    When you are going down into the depression well, how do you feel? I get headachy, my stomach feels tight.
  13. quirkywords
    Community Champion
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    quirkywords avatar
    14677 posts
    17 October 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Velvet,

    I never thought about that but to be fair most people I meet are much younger than me. I get called, darl, live, etc but think it ma bye they don’t know my name but are not condescending just friend lt. The person you mentioned does not sound very respectful.

    asdff, being bone tired , sometimes feel dizzy, often achy and my very small esteem plummets to zero nad I can’t make the simplest decisions.

    I hope it does not last too long for you.

    1 person found this helpful
  14. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    17 October 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Context I guess. Thanks Quirky.

  15. wail
    wail avatar
    190 posts
    17 October 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Aloha and Hello Quirky, always pleasing to see you and read your thoughts.

    Asdff- my low is physical also, my body seems to force my brain to get off the accelerator. I love the 'ride the wave' analogy. Bipolar is similar to surfing lingo, shame it's not as much fun. Says she who can't surf!

    Velevt your instincts are correct hun is punitive lingo but sadly those who do it get away with it because it can be taken both ways. I would use it back to her and gauge her reaction, that usually ends the game.

    Aries the kettle is on if you are about

    My niece has been moved back to the observation area because she is unkind to others, Dr. see's her tomorrow. She didn't want me to visit, her delusion is now, that I had an affair with her dad and that's why her mum left. My husband has finally caught up and he is cross that she has blamed every member of the family. But that's what immature people do I tell him. It is awful but I hope she is held until her brain stops spinning.

    Back to the lovely Hawaiian music and maybe a dip in the bath, Asdff take the day off, I am.

    1 person found this helpful
  16. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    17 October 2021 in reply to wail

    Thanks for your input Wail. People who treat me like that get no more chances once I'm done. I don't want to hear from her again and I hope I don't. I would just block and walk away if it wasn't for the responsibility regarding Mr doggo. You can't talk to people like that. They're not open to anything other than their own selfish needs.

    Oh wow. She's mean to others in the hospital? How awful. At least husband sees things a little more clearly now.

    I hope the progress to recovery for her ad your family is relatively smooth.

  17. wail
    wail avatar
    190 posts
    17 October 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie
    My husbands bipolar makes him the king of duel meaning barbs, He thinks he's a superior thinker. I am over it but when it is done in public, I cringe. Last week he asked a Dr with limited english ' How long have you been here?' Now that could mean, here at the clinic or here in Australia, neither of which is important or our business. But stumping the Dr made him feel superior and I don't even try to explain this to him because his head is made of wood.
  18. wail
    wail avatar
    190 posts
    17 October 2021 in reply to wail
    What a fright I just saw myself in the mirror and I look shockingly unwell. Then I had a though.. what if people do the double talk thing because they feel insecure in regards to who they are dealing with. The chimps have it so much easier and it would be fun to have those cool toes.
  19. quirkywords
    Community Champion
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    quirkywords avatar
    14677 posts
    17 October 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Velvet

    I wish I was like you and don’t give people more chances after they have treated me meanly.

    I tend to give so many chances as I am too soft with the excuses.

    I agree with context being important but I will be tougher when people are rude and then make excuses .

    Wail, people trying to score points with others by trying to be clever with words can be annoying and I cringe too. I had an ex who would ask people within minutes of meeting them, what school they went to. If they didn’t go to a private school,he would ignore them and try and tease them by proving they were not as smart as he was. I would try to hide when he did this.
    please look after yourself.

  20. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    17 October 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    I give more chances than I should. Now I'm managing the brain issues I'm feeling more able to not tolerate poor treatment.

    Oh yeh. No excuses for being rude and mean. There is a difference between rude and mean and simply stating facts and truth. Some folks don't like that either.

    Boasting games are childish. Stating things is better. Private schooling only means the parents had more money to spend on education... unless a scholarship. Money doesn't buy IQ points.

    I suspect the bridezilla aka friend of mine has probably replaced me. After bagging and slandering one lady and her best mate (not on good terms at that time)... I saw they're all chummy chummy mates again. Works for me!!!! She won't let me know if it has changed. She's self important and wants everyone to chase her.

    That's a big NOPE

  21. quirkywords
    Community Champion
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    quirkywords avatar
    14677 posts
    17 October 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Velvet

    I have never been a bridesmaid and iI suspect I never will.

    weird how someone who says you are friend can play games with you.

  22. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    17 October 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    It's overrated. I've done it heaps of times.

    Yep. People do play games. I can't be bothered. It all says a lot about her character and I simply don't want that in my life.

    Games. One couple I was bridesmaid for and my then finance was groomsman... we were all best mates..... yeh turned out the bride and my finance were having an affair for a year before he and I and they broke up. It would have been happening at the wedding time too.

    Oh that was a fun time in my life. Not.

  23. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    18 October 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    I have a new dog coordinator. It's a friend of mine I've had for about 20 years. Hahahaa.

    I told her about his progress. She said it sounds like he's a different dog! And that we seem to have the ability to calm these dogs.

    I said yes and we are considering applying to keep the beast.

  24. quirkywords
    Community Champion
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    quirkywords avatar
    14677 posts
    18 October 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Velvet

    That is a real skill to calm dogs that others have not been able to connect with.
    I am glad you have a new dog coordinator and that she is a friend.

    Wail thinking of you. Do you like frangipanis as I think of them when I think tropical and their smell makes me smile.

    Asdff how are you going? I have forgotten when school goes back for your children.

    Aries , Lisa david n Goliath how are you going.?
    everyone reading fir first time a big hello and welcome.

  25. wail
    wail avatar
    190 posts
    18 October 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    The dream weaver song plays in my head and the frangipanis' are in flower, to me they smell like baby powder. when I was a kid I used to rub flowers on my skin trying to smell better. My nerves are so jumpy today, so sorry if my post is prickly, it would be totally me if it is. I have been running foul with everyone I am edgy. It is the under current of stress because I can not see a quick way out.

    Last night I experience guilt on a gutting scale because I am aware that my duty of care to my niece does not involve me loving her. I have always kept an emotional distance between us that's how I am. I always expected her mum to return or her dad to up and move away so I didn't let my guard down. I never intentionally harmed her, I even thought a matter of fact upbringing would prepare her for life. But I feel like I got it wrong because everything is wrong right now. My mind is full of regrets I treated her like a subject, I am a crappy aunty.

    So Velvet what is it about this dog that has charmed you? I don't know when we will go see greyhounds but how do you pick a good dog from the pack?

    Dr wont see my niece until she is stable knowing she is mentally struggling is hurting all of us in different ways.

  26. Airies
    Airies avatar
    1204 posts
    18 October 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Wail, would love to have a cupcake, coffees my thing but camomile at night. Only recently I purchased a paper online for a subscription. Today I looked through the tributes re my friend the one I’d burned, .There’s nothing there so I clicked on a funeral director, found out the service was in progress and available for viewing, so I did . What were the chances? It was so tragic as they were asking for donations to BB in lieu of flowers..I remembered the last time I saw him , me an outpatient and he an inpatient at a private psych clinic and an awkward hello ensued and that was that. I’ve tried to reach out to his family, even now. My wife says I need to let it go. And I do . I’m ok . I had thought about contacting him again a while back but think mentally it wouldn’t be wise for both of us.

  27. wail
    wail avatar
    190 posts
    18 October 2021 in reply to Airies
    Aries, coffee cooking old style; what were the chances and why are things put before us- these are divine questions. Letting go takes so many forms, I take Papa to 7day Death mass / 40day D. mass and 1 yr D. mass. To let go you may want to talk skyward and tell your mate, what you need him to hear. Put a plant in to honor him and make peace with his departure. I wish you luck letting him go, then he can soar the heavens.
  28. asdff
    asdff avatar
    1051 posts
    18 October 2021 in reply to Airies

    My children are back at school Quirky.

    Airies, sorry for your loss. Maybe a letter to him for closure. You can burn it or bury it in your garden.

    Velvet, hooray for new coordinator. I hope the doggo becomes yours. As for the ex having an affair. That is nasty.

    I have mad a doctors appointment to get a referral for psychiatrist. Gosh, I need it. These meds aren’t doing what they are supposed to.

  29. Airies
    Airies avatar
    1204 posts
    18 October 2021 in reply to asdff

    Wail, pretty special taking your papa to church. Thanks for the kind messages.On that note we are in the process of redoing our wills.. Not a cheap exercise and in another I’d come back as a lawyer not lol. That would fry my brain completely.

    Asdff hope your psych gets you on the right meds. Sounds like you have a plan.

    Velvet, will you get a dog out of this? Quirky and Lisa I hope you are both ok ?

  30. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    18 October 2021 in reply to Airies

    Wail, you did everything you knew how to regarding neice. I don't think younguns come with an instruction book. I suspect everything that's happened has nothing to do with you per se, but your copped it as you're the easiest person to sacrifice in the teenagers eyes.

    I like the dogs intelligence. Cheekiness. Alertness. Confidence. Idiocy haha. He and man thing get on very well too. They both fart, snore and aren't terribly athletic.

    Airies. You were taken there for a reason. What are the chances indeed!? Happened for a reason. Probably a nod and a goodbye. For you in order to help you find the peace your heart needs. He's at peace. He probably would never want you to feel bad.

    The dog is probably mine if I want him. He's taken to us very well.

    Asdff. I've been cheated on by many partners. It's nothing new. My bad choices in men. My own relationship failures. Complex but I understand why it all happened.

    We need to do the will thing. Too many assets and I have no beneficiaries. Man thing needs to do it and do it how he wants and do it right. If his ex outlives him she will contest every last cent. Urgh. I said do what you want. He refused to give his kids anything. I said you must. There are means and ways!!!

    I would do law. I've pondered it if I lose my job. I'm pedantic enough and I do like sticking it to the man. I've had to handle a few legal things over the years and I did very well with them. Born fighter.

    V

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