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Topic: This bipolar life

  1. asdff
    asdff avatar
    1054 posts
    9 December 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Velvet, Perth weather is bipolar. Hot as a furnace yesterday and back to 20’s next week. Yesterday was super hot and I had an appointment, then picked up both kids at different schools. I had to get out of the car while waiting for them. I felt like I was cooking.

    I am not going well. I’m okay, I think without meds I would depressed. It’s the change coming and not the menopause change. It’s nearly school hols, my youngest is going off to high school next year. That is a huge change. I have been an active member of the primary school community. I remember him being so small and the car being quiet after dropping him off.

  2. quirkywords
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    quirkywords avatar
    14704 posts
    9 December 2021 in reply to asdff

    Asdff
    I liked primary but high school was a moody mess for me.

    I was involved at primary’s hook helping in the library and eventually had work in the special needs Class. They went to high school on the bus and I was told by each child not to volunteer at high school or it would be too embarrassing and humiliating for them.
    Luckily I had part time work at primary school.
    i tried not to put my sad memories of high school onto my children who seemed to like high school.

  3. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    11 December 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Enjoying the cooler weather. Enjoying being a bit lazy. Ok. I did 2hr & 15min of gym classes this am. I think lazy is all I can accomplish this afternoon. I was woken at 4.30am by the roosting corella pile in the trees next to my house. LOUD!!!

    I am learning to accept myself more even if society doesn't. Don't care. Cliques at work or at gym. Don't care. I'm not there for acceptance into cliques with fake & shallow people.

    School holidays. Thoughts and prayers. *wink* *joke* .... truly I hope all the parents out there don't have too much bad kid behaviour on their hands this season.

  4. quirkywords
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    quirkywords avatar
    14704 posts
    11 December 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Velvet

    I like that you are accepting yourself mire even if others do t,

    I am trying to accept myself too except I still worry what others think about me.

    I know I shouldn’t but I do ?

  5. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    11 December 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    I don't think anyone should be made to feel ashamed if they deviate from the expected norms society throws upon people, unless you are a person who does bad things to others of course.

    There is an instructor at my gym who is super pro exercise to manage mental health. It's her angle. It's her pitch. It's why she has a charity and fitness business. She seems to have a massive issue with me since she made me feel uncomfortable in a class. I observed for the last 6 months since that day. She definitely avoids me and there is the odd micro aggression too. I even went and spoke to her supervisor as this is making me super uncomfortable. I almost cancelled my membership because of it. I told the supervisor to leave it be as It's probably both of us misreading each other and I'll try to break ice tomorrow.

    Yesterday I tried twice. I tried small talk and she walked away. The token high fives during class, my turn and she pulled away.

    Good on ya love. Pro mental health / exercise and you are sending me signals like that? No idea what I ever did to her. No idea what her issue is.

    And it's that. Her issue. Lucky I go there for me. I won't put my health aside for her BS. Also it's Drs orders I exercise! It is one of the things I NEED to do to manage my adhd.

    Sorry about that waffle. Ahah. I just cannot handle blatant hypocrites like that. Blah blah MH. Oh but you're different so I'll make you feel uncomfortable.

    Pfft.

  6. Airies
    Airies avatar
    1206 posts
    12 December 2021 in reply to asdff

    Very very ordinary on her part V, you’re paying a gym membership, she’s supposed to be a professional. It’s amassing the difference exercise makes as you well know.
    I rode yesterday, a few hills and had to Ice my ankle post ride, bummer I’ve overdone it or the steroid shots didn’t work. Rest day bike wise , managed a walk and iced again.
    In the new year will try again re diet, pointless now leading up to Xmas.

    Finally some warmer weather, hope everyone in tracking ok

  7. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    12 December 2021 in reply to Airies

    Exercise rocks.

    Ignorance can rock too only if they're open to learning and trying to understand. Most people aren't.

    Bike rides are great and I need to get back onto those again.

    Christmas. Eeeeewk.

  8. quirkywords
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    quirkywords avatar
    14704 posts
    12 December 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Velvet I have concluded in my advancing age that there are some people I don’t understand,

    Aries, warmer weather here too.

    Is anyone feeling so tired, I have been like this for a week or so.

  9. asdff
    asdff avatar
    1054 posts
    12 December 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Velvet, the gym instructor probably has issues. Try not to take it personally. I know wha met you mean though. There is an instructor at my gym that knows around 20 names in our classes. Never mine and I’m there more than most. My shortened version of my name is not hard to remember.

    Here is something I am pondering today. I’m always pondering. I am not meaning to offend anyone. I just need to know why and if I can do something similar. We were at a party. I’m chatting to a Dad and son. This son is roughly the same age as my son. My son is next to me. Knows no one. I barely know the Dad. I ask what age child is? His name? Child responds. Then Dad said he is autistic. My reaction was okay. We continued conversation a bit more and I introduced my on. Spoke about video games. Later at party. Another parent said so and so is autistic. Okay. Now my question is, when did we need to know in social settings that a child is autistic? I know some autistic people struggle in social situations. They can’t read social cues, look people in the eyes etc. Why do I need to know that about the child? I can read people well. I don’t judge and I think both of these children were fine and capable of a conversation. So in the last few years have we changed as a society ? To tell people our label.

  10. quirkywords
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    quirkywords avatar
    14704 posts
    12 December 2021 in reply to asdff

    Asdff

    years ago when I worked with special needs children, a student from the high school said when she met anyone, she said hi my name is ( insert girls name) and I am. A High functioning autistic. Teachers and other adults would laugh.

    I felt sad as the reason she said this was because every adult said that about her within her hearing.

    I made a point of not talking about students in from of them.

    I know this is different but I find it awkward when parents say their child is shy, loud, talented, awkward etc , has ADHD , is depressed .
    I agree with you.

    1 person found this helpful
  11. asdff
    asdff avatar
    1054 posts
    12 December 2021 in reply to quirkywords
    I knew you would know something about my questioning Quirky. Having worked with children. After the first conversation I went to a grazing board and the lady was setting it up. She said I just need to put labels on it. My response I don’t like labels. I guess after feeling the need to not label the child earlier. Plus having my own label. For myself I am fine with a few hours of social activity. Appearing to be “normal”. However, obverse me over a period of a month. You will notice the dips into depression. Okay back to the autistic label and the parent needing to tell me. I have an extended family member with autism. Not diagnosed till late in life. He doesn’t do much if any socialising. When he was diagnosed he would tell people I’m autistic. I think maybe it’s so people can draw their own conclusions. Like I said I am okay with making my own observations and I’m not going to treat a person differently because they have a label. I know a percentage of society are not so accepting.
  12. quirkywords
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    quirkywords avatar
    14704 posts
    12 December 2021 in reply to asdff

    asdff

    if it comes up in conversation I will tell people I am bipolar or if they have told me about their mental health or a family member. Plus I did talk for a few years to groups and was interviewed by radio and newspapers. For me I am ok but if someone else said it about me in front of me I would find that ok depending on context.

    Maybe off topic but two close family members who have never spoken to me about my bipolar used me when going for jobs, ie my relative has bipolar so I know all about mental illness!! They never asked if it was ok and have never asked me about how I cope or read anyhting I have written. they did it as looked good on a cv.

  13. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    12 December 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Interesting. Labels. I see both sides. One is to create or help create awareness in society. Other I can see why. You see the person not their label. That comes from understanding due to your own personal experiences like BP.

    When it comes to diversity I can assure you neurodivergent conditions is not accepted or widely understood by the general population. You guys are definitely not the general population.

    Sexuality, race, religion, gender expression, disability, family responsibilities are on the fore and ask for acceptance and/or accommodations.

    Many diverse groups ask for accommodations, understanding or no bigotry. Perhaps that's the driving force?

    Hey or some people use their kids for attention. Munchausen syndrome by proxy is a thing.

    Over sharing is also a means to connect or try to connect.

    Autism isn't a label it's a medical condition just as bipolar disorder is.

    1 person found this helpful
  14. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    12 December 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    As for the instructor. Whoops. She's nothing to me so I won't let her way upset me anymore. I don't go there to form catty friendships. I have no time for it.

    1 person found this helpful
  15. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    12 December 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    Also, as this mode of communication is 2D..... no offence here.

    I often wonder why people engage in conversation by "oh are you married? How many kids? What do you do for a living?" To find familiarity and break ice? Maybe?

  16. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    12 December 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie
    Must've not hit button. No offence here. Thought I'd better stipulate due to 1 dimensional communication.
  17. quirkywords
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    quirkywords avatar
    14704 posts
    12 December 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    I find the posts on this thread fascinating and I dont feel judged. With my family I dont think there is one I can be honest and say wht I think because even when I am careful what i say i get into trouble!! Imagine that!!

    I think people ask questions, Velvet, as you say to break the ice, I avoid questions about marital status, children, paid work. I used to ask people what their passion was in like until they misinterpreted passion !!

    I think that is interesting about 1 0r 2 dimensional communication.

  18. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    12 December 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    That's a good way to break ice Quirky. It promotes actual thought.

    I always get into trouble by saying what I think, even in the most diplomatic way.

    When I'm asked about the obligations society has put upon me, marriage, kids, they're very disappointed in my response. I've been called selfish as well among various things.

    I didn't realise that making a conscious, thought out choice was selfish? Doesn't affect them!!!

    I am a bit tired. I did lots on the weekend.

  19. Airies
    Airies avatar
    1206 posts
    13 December 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    I’m so grateful to be here on this thread. Always informative and I’d like to think we help each other out through our highs and lows.
    I’m sure I get judged but not here. I’m sure my very small group of social acquaintances know I’m NQR, but by the same token I don’t go out and blurt I’m bipolar.

    I’ve been on an up for ages, EBay purchases, manic eating, exercise on the wain. My wife returns to work after months off.That will be challenging for me as I’m no cook. The lack of contact and extra demand, combined with Xmas and so on might upset my apple cart

  20. quirkywords
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    quirkywords avatar
    14704 posts
    13 December 2021 in reply to Airies

    Airies,

    Do you find after your up has lasted for ages your go back to stable or diwn or a bit of both depending on how much the applecart is upset?

    i am no cook but I find a few simple recipes and use the on repeat.

    Velvet, i think what ever one decides people will question. I have friends who have more than 5 children who have strangers say to them how selfish and irresponsible they are. So weird that strangers think it is their business to comment to others. I would not be polite.

  21. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    13 December 2021 in reply to quirkywords
    Thats true Quirky. No matter what you do or say in life there will always be someone there to cut you down.
  22. quirkywords
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    quirkywords avatar
    14704 posts
    13 December 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Yes Velvet that is sad but true. I sometimes wonder if some people need to put others down as they had it done to them. of course someone needs to break the cycle.

    Hello to everyone reading for the first time.

    Lisa Asdff Velvet Airies and everyone is before Christmas a stressful time?

  23. Airies
    Airies avatar
    1206 posts
    13 December 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    In one word yep, we used to do Xmas eve at my mums, Xmas at our house or relies when the kids were little and I’d be the one up early for the Boxing Day sales. I could cope back then. Almost a different version of me now.
    Now, it stresses me out, but we shall see. I might surprise myself.

    Do you find it stressful?

  24. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    13 December 2021 in reply to Airies

    Christmas for me is fake. Why choose 1 day a year to be a decent human being when it should be every day of the year?

    Plus the blatent commercialism doesn't sit well with me.

    That's me and I don't have kids so that most definitely would put a different slant on things.

  25. quirkywords
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    quirkywords avatar
    14704 posts
    14 December 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie
    I don’t celebrate Christmas but I know some people are really stressed to spend a day with some people that the spend 364 days avoiding.
  26. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    15 December 2021 in reply to quirkywords

    I can understand that Quirky.

    Hence Christmas party avoidance.

    Well the world isn't ready for neurodivergent understanding. Or attempting too.

    I just had a 2hr meeting with HR who made me feel like it doesn't matter. They don't accept it. This is why PEOPLE TALK ABOUT THESE THINGS.

    That was so bad and humiliating, if the email follow up doesn't clear things up, and isn't careful I'm taking them to court.

  27. quirkywords
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    quirkywords avatar
    14704 posts
    15 December 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Velvet

    Isn’t HR supposed to be understanding, inclusive and fair.
    I am sorry you were treated like this Velvet.

  28. Lisa611
    Lisa611 avatar
    229 posts
    15 December 2021 in reply to quirkywords
    Hi All...YAY! Today is my last day! I've survived! We have a staff lunch which is when we farewell people leaving the school. There is 1 lady retiring from the English faculty so I'll have to give a speech. The principal is also leaving. Am really hoping the spike in covid cases doesn't affect my daughter's wedding. If it has to be postponed again I don't know what they'll do. Am going Xmas shopping after work today. I hate crowds so I'm hoping it won't be that busy. How is everyone else going in the lead up to Xmas???
  29. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    15 December 2021 in reply to Lisa611

    Congratulations on another teacher year well done.

    Oh true! I haven't seen much news re covid. Had my head in the sand. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping for you all!!

    Toxic positivity. Been pondering it. Don't like it. It dismisses people's experiences and feelings which aren't always fantastic.

    I didn't go to work today. I'm recharging the positive batteries hahahaha. Na truly, finding my confidence again in a way.

    Good riddance to 2021.

  30. quirkywords
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    quirkywords avatar
    14704 posts
    16 December 2021 in reply to velvetfaerie

    velvet

    For years I have been saying positivity does have a place and time but toxic positivity as you say dismisses peoples experiences and feelings.

    when you have experienced the recent loss of a loved one to be told to move on and look on the bright side seems heartless.

    Lisa well done for finishing the year. I hope the wedding goes ahead .

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