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Topic: This bipolar life

  1. quirkywords
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    quirkywords avatar
    14677 posts
    20 May 2022 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Hello everyone . How are you?

    i let someone down through no fault of mine Or did she feel disappointed

    or did I I imagine all of this

    Does anyone e,se feel another is upset with the when it may be

    due to overthinking.

  2. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    20 May 2022 in reply to quirkywords

    My tee shirt today "hold on, I'm overthinking."

    I am always hypersensitive to things.

    I'm tired. Went to another work location today to reacquaint myself. I started there 15 years ago. Ended up staying all day and launching back into it as many people were not in.....

    It's like trying to bail out a sinking ship using a coffee mug.

    1 person found this helpful
  3. quirkywords
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    quirkywords avatar
    14677 posts
    20 May 2022 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Velvet

    I like the sinking ship analogy.

    my analogy for relationships was it was like in a boat with a big hole it in trying to bale it out with a colander that was my chaotic relationships,!!!

  4. Lisa611
    Lisa611 avatar
    229 posts
    21 May 2022 in reply to quirkywords
    Hi All...hope everyone is ok. My psych who I've been seeing for 22yrs is retiring in July. He is referring me to another psych who I already know from my time in hospital. He's very well regarded and he's not taking any new patients so I feel lucky that he's taking me. I feel a bit funny about my psych retiring and having to start from scratch with a new one. On another note today we have a wedding. The service was at 11.30 and the receptions at 6 which is a pain. We've come home to get changed before the reception. Work is going ok. My supervisor is starting to realise how two of the English teachers I manage can be difficult. When I think I have to work for the next 10 yrs until I'm 65 I feel sad. I've been a teacher for 32 yrs and I'm tired. I don't have the energy that I use to have. I don't have the passion that I use to have. I'm not trained to do anything else.
    1 person found this helpful
  5. Airies
    Airies avatar
    1204 posts
    21 May 2022 in reply to Lisa611

    Hi Lisa…I had a similar situation when my GP of 30 + years retired. He’d been through everything with us, IVF heartbreak and success, my breakdown and so many things in between.It’s ok to feel funny. You’re spilling your heart and soul to a complete stranger.If you’re not happy seek another to find the right fit whether that’s easy or hard during Covid I’m not sure.

    I Think teachers don’t get enough credit these days.You sound like an old fashioned teacher. One of the good ones. My children received a good education through the Catholic system. I hope the next 10 years flies for you for all the right reasons. Our condition doesn’t help either. Just started buying Tatts tickets on a monthly basis on the off chance of winning….something.

  6. quirkywords
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    quirkywords avatar
    14677 posts
    21 May 2022 in reply to Lisa611

    Lisa

    I can not imagine knowing. a Health professional for 22 years , the most I ever saw a pysch was for 3 times,.

    you have been very determined to teach for so long.
    i was never good at keeping a job till I had my own shop.

    1 person found this helpful
  7. Airies
    Airies avatar
    1204 posts
    22 May 2022 in reply to quirkywords

    V, that t shirt resonates no much. A simple trip from the station via Bunnings and him needing to go to the voting station resulted in a 15 minute confusing conversation on what to do in him , saying Dad you’re overthinking it. He was right. I took a few wrong turns as I was mentally distracted.
    I do things full on. I’ve brought enough things to see me through of a decade of hobbies if I survive.

    1 person found this helpful
  8. quirkywords
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    quirkywords avatar
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    22 May 2022 in reply to velvetfaerie

    hello everyone. I have had a busy week so just taking it easy today .

    Does anyone feel guilty or is made to feel guilty when doing self care even though it is needed..?

    Velvet

    I need that shirt. My family always say I over think and complicate my life.
    I am also told I am hypersensitive but I feel thst others lack sensitivity.

    Aries I wonder if I am only one here who has really seen a psychiatrist

    I had a bad experience with my first and only one.

    ,

  9. Airies
    Airies avatar
    1204 posts
    22 May 2022 in reply to quirkywords

    Quirky, I don’t feel guilty at all.often I do the self care when know ones around. Will have an early night, mid arvo if need be and often it revolves around me. As I’ve often stated my wife is understanding and really I’m lucky. I first saw a psych back in the early 90s and then annually, he prescribed a couple of meds and diagnosed a different diagnosis.

    My psych after my breakdown was a dud, had a few others and my last is a blessing.I’ve changed my profile to a mountain. .I liken my life to one big climb. I often dreamed on climbing Everest and likened running marathons to climbing a mountain.Now I’m grateful to move.

    Quirky do you still see a psychiatrist?

  10. quirkywords
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    quirkywords avatar
    14677 posts
    22 May 2022 in reply to Airies

    I have not seen a psychiatrist for many years. I saw a counsellor twice and a marriage counsellor several times. I try to find a gp with an interest in mental health.

    I also find volunteering here and giving talks to groups helps me.

  11. Airies
    Airies avatar
    1204 posts
    22 May 2022 in reply to quirkywords
    Do others feel affronted if a former work colleague doesn’t acknowledge them..? or am I being over sensitive. I usually acknowledge with a nod or more often hello or avoid all together. Maybe it’s me being a bit strange if the shoes on the other foot. I don’t know?
  12. quirkywords
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    quirkywords avatar
    14677 posts
    22 May 2022 in reply to Airies

    Aries

    I sometimes don’t recognise old school students from 40 years ago so it is my inability to know who they are.

    if they genuinely don’t acknowledge you, that is their loss.

  13. quirkywords
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    quirkywords avatar
    14677 posts
    24 May 2022 in reply to quirkywords

    How is everyone

    i had a few low days when I realised I have not grieved my loss of my bookshop and home. I am ok now but I wonder in 5 years time will I still be grieving.
    do others think that time does heal all wounds.

    take care

  14. Lisa611
    Lisa611 avatar
    229 posts
    25 May 2022 in reply to quirkywords
    Quirky I think time dulls the pain but doesn't necessarily heal all wounds. If you've experienced a traumatic event this can take years to come to terms with. You may have accepted it but it can still have an effect on you. I know when I think of the times that I have been in emotional pain it has usually coincided with high stress and resulted in an episode so my memory is a double whammy the event itself and being hospitalised. Quirky I think losing your shop is a very traumatic event. It changed your life. I'm sure you are still adjusting on some level to your loss.
    1 person found this helpful
  15. quirkywords
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    quirkywords avatar
    14677 posts
    25 May 2022 in reply to Lisa611

    Thanks Lisa, hello everyone

    I think in life we feel emotions have a use by date.
    we also compare ourselves,.

    Do you feel we overthink because we have mental health issues or do we have issues because we over think. ..?

    1 person found this helpful
  16. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    26 May 2022 in reply to quirkywords

    I think scars will always remain. Only the truly pathological like psychopaths have no care factor.

    Been very busy but ok even though I have had a couple of things trigger me the last week. Liars at work. My gas bill.

    My gas bill seems innocuous right? The massive massive difference between living alone and sharing my home with the ex has me concerned. He was only there half the time due to work. Why shower so much?? Why set the camera system not to alert me when he left and returned?

    Was he going out and meeting women then showering after at home and then a second time when I'm home to pretend all was normal?

    I may be grasping here but, yeh,....

    Anyway I have been thinking of you all. I've just been a bit detached and busy.

    Catch ya soon!!!

  17. quirkywords
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    quirkywords avatar
    14677 posts
    26 May 2022 in reply to velvetfaerie

    Velvet

    I am so old school I didn’t know there were camera systems to alert of peoples coming and goings.

    How is everyone…?

  18. Airies
    Airies avatar
    1204 posts
    26 May 2022 in reply to quirkywords

    I agree some scars will always remain and will never go away despite all the treatment in the world.

    Quirky we have one of those door bells, records everything and is motion or voice activated. I hope you and others are doing ok. I’m logging my food daily, limiting my calorie intake and I’ve had to curb my online spending.
    And Quirky it’s quite ok to be old school.

  19. quirkywords
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    quirkywords avatar
    14677 posts
    26 May 2022 in reply to Airies

    Aries

    I admire if you can curb your eating and chage your behaviour.

    Icam under pressure to control my op shop purchases,it is not the money, but I have filled up a garage an half a room. My brain days no more books, but I know I am filling a vacuum in my life.

    I am going to pay someone to get me started to organise the garage and then I should be able to do it myself. I feel some are natural organisers and others like me are natural clutterers and are messy.

    A big wave to everyone.

  20. asdff
    asdff avatar
    1051 posts
    26 May 2022 in reply to Lisa611

    Hi, I have been missing, trying to cope with having Coronavirus. I’ve recovered now. My husband got it first. Then me. Then the kids. I was the most unwell.

    Catching up on posts. How are things now V? Lisa your psychologist retiring is a big thing. Mine is of retirement age. When it happens, I won’t do well. I’ve seen others in my time. It just takes time for the relationship to build.


  21. asdff
    asdff avatar
    1051 posts
    26 May 2022 in reply to quirkywords
    Airies, yet again we are so similar. Reading your post about purchasing things for hobbies. Mine are a few narrow hobbies but I do buy things, I like browsing for the items. Then waiting for the parcel to arrive. Sometimes I think what do I need that for? I am more the type; use it on eve or twice then donate it. Like Quirky, I’m filling a hole in my life. I think would I better off working? Probably I am too unstable. I am still up and down like a yo yo. Airies, I’ve seen a psychiatrist. Three times now. By the time I saw him the second time, I had a diagnosis. I thought for a man of science, he spouted a lot of God talk.
  22. Airies
    Airies avatar
    1204 posts
    27 May 2022 in reply to asdff

    Asdff, thankgod you and your family have pulled through with Covid. Don’t be afraid to change psychs if not comfortable.
    You’re so right about filling a void in our life. My wife will say you buy so much crap, loose interest and then sell at a loss only to buy something else.Haven’t touched my ukulele in weeks and the nice music stand is just sitting there.

    I had a late night resulting in taking my medication late and 12 hours later I’m still bombed out.

    1 person found this helpful
  23. quirkywords
    Community Champion
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    quirkywords avatar
    14677 posts
    27 May 2022 in reply to Airies

    Asdff

    glad your on the mend, someone close to me and their family had covid but are ok now,

    Aries I buy everything at op shop so it’s not about the money but it’s Zbout the clutter all the books make. I get that the mess is hard to live with.

    i would not mind having a paid job but at my age that won’t happen so I volunteer a lot.

  24. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    28 May 2022 in reply to asdff

    Covid is ripping through. I'm glad you're on the mend asdff. It's ripping through my gym, work... I really have no idea how I'm yet to have a proven case. I've had 2 bugs this year which mimicked the symptoms. Negative rat / pcr. I know that pcr is the gold standard but I'm wondering about individual variations with viral shedding. That's one whole point regarding vaccination.

    Anyway..... I love op shops!!! Especially now I'm single income, lower income and inflation!!! The dog loves op shops too.

    I had my first chiro appointment this week. Between home stuff, gym stuff and work stuff I did myself a mischief. All it was is that my glutes were SUPER tight pulling on surrounding anatomy. One vertebrae was out and my right hip was under a lot of pressure. I've had to "go easy" a bit. I was absolutely amazed at what the chiro and his colleague did. She did pressure point things OUCH!!! Then he did the spine thing.

    Will be returning for follow up. I'm in love with them ahahah.

    Filling a void. I'm focussing on home improvements. My first project is small just to get confidence and knowledge. I have to go buy some stuff!!!

    Gym time. First time in 10 days. Believe me the days away from the gym I've been working hard at work. Thursday I did 18k steps.

  25. Airies
    Airies avatar
    1204 posts
    28 May 2022 in reply to velvetfaerie

    V, like you have been very lucky dodging the Virus. My son had it overseas with no apparent Ill affect and my stepfather passed away from it. Chiropractors are the best. Haven’t been in years but I should. I had one who would treat me by lightly tapping a number of my back bones go into another room and then come back and that was that. Needless to say I changed chiropractors very quickly.

    18k steps wow .. I managed a ride and walk and trying to be so good with my food. Baked beans is my go to… on toast. I tried to make a muesli slice with no flour and it flopped ..I’m off to do a very short right to cap off a 3 digit week in distance.

    Hope everyone’s doing ok

  26. Lisa611
    Lisa611 avatar
    229 posts
    28 May 2022 in reply to Airies
    Hey All...am sitting in a coffee shop just enjoying my time off. Saw my parents this morning. My Dad thinks I shouldn't tell my psych everytime I feel flat because he thinks he just ups my meds. I'm of the belief that he's the doctor so he knows what he's doing. I'm also thinking about seeing a naturopath. Has anyone else done that?
  27. quirkywords
    Community Champion
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    quirkywords avatar
    14677 posts
    28 May 2022 in reply to Lisa611

    Hello everyone,

    Lisa,

    trust your instincts. I went to a naturopath when I was pregnant with my 3rd child. She told me to give up fruit but thst made me more moody. I also tried acupuncture .

    I have been told by friends , family, and strangers I have been on medication long enough.

    Your dad means well but you trust your doctor.

  28. Airies
    Airies avatar
    1204 posts
    29 May 2022

    Lisa, I’ve never considered a naturopath nor would I. I know your dad means well but the drs are the experts. I think by being completely honest with your treating psych will result in the best outcome whether that means medication,therapy, inpatient and outpatient courses and so on.

    i know I was a different person before my breakdown years ago. I know I’m a different person years down the track. If it wasn’t for my psychs intervention and her expertise it probably would have been a different outcome.
    I hope when the time is ready I can cutback or cease meds but if it doesn’t work out I won’t hesitate to be back on them and in all instances be guided by my psych after all she is the subject matter expert.

  29. Airies
    Airies avatar
    1204 posts
    30 May 2022 in reply to Airies
    Lisa, I hope I didn’t come across as harsh and if I did I didn’t mean to and apologise.As Quirky said go with your gut. Amongst all my prescribed medication I take melatonin to help me sleep. It’s natural, prescribed but I do buy it via EBay.
    1 person found this helpful
  30. velvetfaerie
    velvetfaerie avatar
    3945 posts
    30 May 2022 in reply to Airies

    Airies you're always polite. I think everyone here has impeccable manners.

    This am I accidentally hit a rail reversing my car and got lost in a local area. I've never done either of these things before. I slept ok. I wasn't under the influence. I had my meds.

    Kind of scared me. I'm down about it and yeh feeling very isolated with no support as usual.

    I'm really just sick and tired of people in and around my life. I don't exist to anyone. Always chasing them.

    There are 2 internet based events the next 2 weeks I've been invited to. I may have to do this. They're relaxed events where people just meet to make friends.

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