Evening, just dropping in to say hi, I'm still plugging away...
Hey Kazzle..hope your settled, and the temporary anger/down/craziness has passed. Every mood, feeling, thought, temporary, even happiness and joy... just have to work out how to get through the bad end of the spectrum, chew up time until it passes.
I've been reading up on ACT, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy... via a book called "The Reality Slap", how to find fulfillment when life hurts.
It's a decent read, and helps give you mechanisms to weather the storm as such. Now that my mind has slowed down and I can concentrate on something for more than a few minutes, I've found reading again :)
So the drugs are still working, got a visit with the psychologist next week, no idea what is next.. Christmas is near, 2 weeks leave, and hopefully more time to settle back into being me.. rediscovering me I guess. I have been a different person for quite a while, 6 months? 12 months? probably longer. I thought it was me getting better, but really I was going further away from who I am.
It's all quite strange really. But I keep taking my meds. Sometimes I think they are not enough, I get those little pangs of hypomania.. the excitement, the anxiety, the mind goes a little faster, everything speeds up a little... and the irritability kicks in. But I'm noticing it now, and oooo it's hard to not flip out :) Like tonight, long week, probably not enough sleep, and my kids were not doing anything abnormal, but they were annoying me, I was getting so angry. Every time I went to take a step it felt like they were under my feet. I kept snapping at them, my wick was so short, and I was buzzing a little. The buzz... I know it's not really that healthy now, but it's the starting end of the buzz. It's interesting to notice.
So tonight I sucked it all up, and tried to lock up the irritability, play normal. Hard work lol.
Ahh, but the weekend is here! my daughter's 12 b'day, at an alpaca farm. She loves the things. She's wonderfully quirky.
Have a great weekend all, get some sunshine, fresh air, and take your meds..