Thankyou for your post.I think I might relate to this a little.
My extended family lives in Tasmania, farmers. As a toddler for health reasons my father mother and brother came to the mainland to live in a totally different environment- the western suburbs of Melbourne.
When I reached high school I was the only student in my class of 26 that was more than one generation Australian, all the others were Mediterranean. In fact they spoke their own language most times- a little bit of the reverse of someone arriving here in most places. So I felt alienated.
I joined the RAAF at 17yo and travelled around Australia. But my roots were in Tasmania and always saw it as home. In 1987 my own young family sold up here in Melbourne to live in my homeland but a will dispute split our family temporarily.
Eventually I found a place in Central Victoria that reminds me of Tasmania. Rolling hills, friendly people and farms. But it isn't Tasmania. Recently my cousin (also 63yo) from Tassy visited and I questioned him about his small town that I always loved. He surprised me to inform me that it isn't like the olden days. Graffiti, crime, inconsiderate tourists and the farms are all divided up with houses much more dense. He showed my photos, I was startled. I certainly wouldn't live there now, sadly.
There's a song "where ever I leave my hat that's my home" but of course its more complex. I feel that the "grass is greener" thoughts have some way to exposing our feeling of what home is all about. In my small community where I now live it is peaceful and being small around 220 people in town plus farmers, the more you involve yourself the more home it becomes.
Thankfully most people fully accept LGBTIQ community members so I hope that isn't a factor in holding you back in that regard. I mean, my bipolar and the odd dispute had alienated me to a few people that don't understand and that has been hard to accept but overall most people locally in small communities are more tolerant.
Do you think your depression has a lot to do with your feelings of insecurity? Are you receiving treatment?
I hope that helps. Repost anytime, I'm never far away.