I don’t know how to talk about this nor where to start.
I was diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder at the beginning of the year. It took 23 years. I feel hurt and angry that my happiness was stripped of my at such a young age before I had any idea.
2 years ago I dated a guy, and at first he was wonderful, I’d never felt so alive. But of course as it went on things got darker. Constant mental abuse alongside physical, I don’t know who to talk to about it nor how. It’s fed my BPD.
I have a lot of empathy, too much. He was severely schizophrenic, he was also on drugs at the end which I had helped him to get off. but he had been up for almost a week, on methamphetamines. he was 20 at the time, I was 21.
He is currently in jail for something else and is currently about to face about 4 years minimum. But being sober and medicated, I picked up a call from him, he sounded.. happy? So much healthier. I also received a letter off him saying he has not been able to love since me. I don’t know how to feel, as I I don’t know if I’ll ever lose what I had for him despite everything.