Hi Chel-sea, welcome
Your experience has similarities to my first marriage. My wife used emotional abuse for 11 years. We had two girls and when finally I planned my own demise I saved myself and left.
I lived in a caravan park for a while where a friend told me "never go backwards". I had felt an urge to return to her. Mainly it was grief for the loss of of my full time fatherhood but guilt had a role to play.
Time did heal the wounds and upon my good second marriage realise that love and care can be found.
Of the many threads I've wrtten there are some that are most apt for you to read. Please use google (you only need to read the first post of each)
Topic: the best praise you'll ever get- beyondblue
Topic: guilt the tormentor- beyondblue
Topic: narcissism- beyondblue
Topic: the definition of abuse- beyondblue
Topic: so what are their mental illnesses?- beyondblue
Your self esteem has taken a battering. This will take time to regain it. When you are ready, go on dates or light sport, a hobby, mix with others, feel the freedom. Remind yourself of how you were owned. Never forget it but make steps to normalize your life.
I hope you improve. In years to come like I am now, you'll reflect not on him so much, more on yourself in the courage to stand up against dominance. This will make you proud in that you prevailed.
Well done. Repost anytime in those threads or here.
Ps. You can also google this
Queen witch waif hermit
Its and example of the feeling of someone owning another person. (The queen)