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Forums / PTSD & Trauma / My Darling Dog Will Be Euthenized Soon

Topic: My Darling Dog Will Be Euthenized Soon

  1. Panicmerchant
    Panicmerchant avatar
    148 posts
    7 January 2022

    I have a dear dog whom I rescued from a horrible place in May 2020. She is now 9 years old. She is the light and love of my life. Two weeks ago she seemed to be unbalanced and a long story short I have taken her to the vet 4 times since then. She has had numerous tests and ultrasounds and the vet is not giving me any answers.

    In the last two days she has been lying in the bathroom which she never does. She has been having tremors and crying in her sleep. Although the vet doesn't know what is wrong they have put her on strong painkillers. When she has these she doesn't show pain but sleeps.

    She is not drinking water and is very out of sorts. I feel it is time to put her out of this misery. The vet wants to do an MRI at a cost of $5000.00. I have spent $1600 at the vet in the last 9 days.

    I am besides myself as I feel she has had a stroke or has a brain tumour yet the vet keeps stringing me along. At the end of the day I truly believe she is showing all the signs of a poor animal at the end of her life.

    I am so torn. I barely sleep, I put her on my bed at night and she is often panting, crying in her sleep or having tremors. I am so upset and anxious and I guess I just want someone to make that decision for me. Which I know is not going to happen.

    I rang my local vet and told them what has been going on (they were not aware as I had to take dear doggy to emergency vet throughout all of this). They were very kind and said to me that if I truly feel it is time to take here there anytime and they will look after her....

    I am so scared that if I do this it might be too early? Yet deep down I know something very wrong is going on with her....I am falling apart. I love her so much. She had a terrible life until I rescued her. I hate life. It is so terrible and unfair.

    I have been crying almost constantly daily. Please someone help. Thankyou.

  2. Matchy69
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    7 January 2022 in reply to Panicmerchant

    Hi Panicmerchant,I am so sorry about your beloved dog isn't really well and not getting an answer what is really wrong makes it so hard to know what to do.It can be very expensive taking it to the vet and trying to get answers.I feel your pain and the tough decision you have to make.I had my beloved rescue dog euthenized a few years ago.It had a diagnoses of terminal cancer and she was in a lot of pain.A long discussion with the vet who I went to school with and my mother I made that decision so she wouldn't be in pain anymore.I cried a lot and still do when I think of this decision I had to make.Afterwards I went and got another rescue dog and it was hard at first to except a new dog but I came to love her much as my other one.

    It is ok to cry for your beloved dog and make the best decision for your dog how hard it may be.

    Take care,

    Mark.

    2 people found this helpful
  3. Guest_7403
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    409 posts
    7 January 2022 in reply to Panicmerchant

    Don't rush your decision, give her time to bounce back.

    Theyre quite resilient fur babies. Aslong as she's not in any pain.

    Put some water in her food bowl to help keep the fluids up, give her fatty snacks to keep the calories up.

    Give her time aslong as she's not in pain give her every opportunity to come back.

    Take care

    1 person found this helpful
  4. Panicmerchant
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    148 posts
    7 January 2022 in reply to Matchy69

    Hi Mark

    Thankyou for your reply. I am so sorry you too know how awful it is. Dogs are my one passion in life. I am not good at anyone or anything else!

    I am feeling guilt over either decision . If I do 'it' is it too soon? If I don't; is she suffering more?? How I wish someone would tell me!!! To add to all of this my total disillusionment with pretty much everyone and everything has blown out of scale. I feel very unsafe. To go to the vet so many times and not get any answers....it is quite terrifying to me. It triggers my PTSD and anxiety. I really believe that we cannot put any faith in vets or doctors for that matter (I have suffered major health anxiety over the last few years..this brings all of that horror back into focus as well).

    Then when I truly think sweet doggy is at her end she rallies...like she is doing now. She has just had some sardines and a drink of water; wandering around wagging her tail... it is truly devastating and heartbreaking because I know within an hour or so she will fall to pieces again.

    Thanks so much for your support.

  5. Matchy69
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    7 January 2022 in reply to Panicmerchant

    I understand about doctor's not getting answers for my own health and both my parents who are no longer with me.Its good your dog has rallied a bit and have some enjoyment from that.Their moments you need to really enjoy and treasure.It does make it hard when you know she will be suffering again.It is such a heart breaking decision you have to make.You have to weigh up in your heart what will the kindest thing to do for your best friend.Its never an easy decision and I real feel the emotional pain you are going through.

    Tske care,

    Mark.

    1 person found this helpful
  6. Panicmerchant
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    148 posts
    7 January 2022 in reply to Matchy69

    Dear Mark

    Tragedies aside...it is so heartwarming to 'talk' to someone who loves them as much as I. I guess I will just keep her safe, warm and loved....I just hope I will know when the right time is. As she is up and down...it is crucifying. Big hugs to you and your sweet rescue dog. xxxx

  7. Panicmerchant
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    148 posts
    7 January 2022 in reply to Matchy69

    xxx I am drowning in sorrow...indecision...grief. To be honest I wish I could go with her. But I can't as I have a son to look after. I am strong and will be alright. As alright as anyone can be I guess.

    xx

  8. Matchy69
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    7 January 2022 in reply to Panicmerchant

    I hope talking about it has helped you and know you are not alone in what you are going through with your beloved dog.Its nice that you found some comfort in talking about it.

    Take care,

    Mark.

    1 person found this helpful
  9. Panicmerchant
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    148 posts
    8 January 2022

    Many thanks to you all for your kind words and support.

    Darling girl has perked up again!!! It is very good to see however very draining! So at this point she is still here and happy! So glad...I love her so. I am praying for a miracle . Perhaps she can overcome whatever this is?

    xx

  10. Matchy69
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    8 January 2022 in reply to Panicmerchant

    I hoping and for your dog that she can overcome what she has.It makes it so hard for you when you can't get a diagnoses and know what is the best treatment for her and the future would hold for her.Just love her and look after her the best you can.

    1 person found this helpful
  11. Panicmerchant
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    148 posts
    8 January 2022 in reply to Matchy69

    xx Yes it is beyond the pale. She is quite comfy and has been moving around happily and smooching around like she used to do! I know I shouldn't get too optimistic but it is such a relief. I know the day will come..but when?? Today she had a 20 minute walk; ate lots of breakfast; drank lots of water. Went to the toilet (!) fine. No evidence of diarrhoea; blood in urine or other.

    Having people like you has helped so much. Whatever happens it is a great support knowing I have you . Thank so much xxx

  12. Matchy69
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    8 January 2022 in reply to Panicmerchant
    That's great you managed to take her for a walk and she is eating.I think you are a really caring pet owner and I know how much she means to you.I am here if you need to talk.
    1 person found this helpful
  13. blondguy
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    9 January 2022 in reply to Panicmerchant

    Hello PM....(and a wave to Mark/Matchy)

    Im a latecomer on your thread its good to see your 'woofer' is feeling better..I am a huge fan of dogs as you are

    If I have missed it...Im sorry...what breed of dog do you have?

    my kindest

    Paul

    1 person found this helpful
  14. geoff
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    9 January 2022 in reply to Panicmerchant

    Hello Panicmerchant, my heart breaks for you because when our puppy shows signs of not wanting to do anything it does really concern us because they too are my passion and couldn't live without having one.

    I've had several I had to make a decision on and there wasn't anyone, except my wife who understood because having a puppy who slept on our bed, came with us everywhere was part of our family.

    The last dog was one I had by myself for 18 years and this tore my heart out when her time had come, and know exactly how you are feeling.

    Let's hope she continues to improve for your enjoyment.

    My best wishes.

    Geoff.

    3 people found this helpful
  15. Panicmerchant
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    148 posts
    9 January 2022 in reply to blondguy

    Dear Paul

    She is a labrador cross staffy! Vet calls her a 'slabrador'! :)

    Dogs are wonderful aren't they. I simply adore them!

    xx

    1 person found this helpful
  16. Panicmerchant
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    148 posts
    9 January 2022 in reply to Matchy69

    Dear Matchy

    Thanx She had a good walk today! I am feeling she may be getting better! I hope and pray this is the case....I love her so

    xx

  17. Panicmerchant
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    148 posts
    9 January 2022 in reply to geoff

    Dear Geoff

    So sorry you too know what it is like :(

    They are such beloved souls.

    Thanx so much. She is slightly better again today..I am so hesitantly hopeful she may be getting over whatever it was??

    xx

  18. geoff
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    11 January 2022 in reply to Panicmerchant

    Hello Panicmerchant, we all hope so, just be careful of what may be thrown over the fence and take all the precautions necessary.

    Geoff.

  19. Panicmerchant
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    148 posts
    12 January 2022 in reply to geoff

    Hi Geoff

    She is not good today. Spent all night panting and whining....her strong painkillers did nothing to help :( I am taking her back to vet first thing tomorrow I think I have to be brave and face the fact that she is seriously ill and without spending thousands to find out what it is (have already spent $1600 with no answers) ; she is failing again.

    I am totally torn and heartbroken as she rallies; she eats and wags her tail etc. Yet she is also lying on the cold floor; does not want to lie in her nice bed. The panting and whining is awful; the painkillers seem to be not working. She also yelps in fright or pain if one accidentally brushes past her dear head :(.

    I now think tomorrow will be the day . I am kidding myself. She is not getting better.

    I hate life.

  20. Panicmerchant
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    148 posts
    12 January 2022 in reply to Matchy69

    Dear Matchy

    I am besides myself. She had a terrible night; panting and whining.....I kept stroking her and trying to get her to go to sleep. Her painkillers were not working...yet she got up today and ate breakfast and wanted to go for a walk? On walk she fell a few times and she actually turned back to come home :(

    She is now lying on cold floor; won't lie on her nice bed. I think the time has come. She has a vet appt at 8.30 am. At the end of the day; she can rally now and again but she is not right at all. I cannot afford another $5000 for an MRI that may not even diagnose anything. Her quality of life is rubbish and so is mine. I barely sleep and when she is so upset and unsettled like last night I freak.

    How I wish the darling soul would pass away in her sleep. But that won't happen. I know how stoic dogs are. I have to make this heartwrenching decision.

    I hope she knows I am doing it for her. :(

  21. mmMekitty
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    12 January 2022 in reply to Panicmerchant

    I'm so sorry you are facing this heart-breaking decision.

    When I lost my cat, it broke my heart, but I was spared having to decide about money I might not have, on tests or treatments which might not work, in the effort to keep her alive, whether in pain or not. I wonder if I could have made the decision myself. I think, in the end, if I had, I could not, in all consciousness let her continue to suffer. It seems to me, you've done all you can, caring & loving your beautiful dog.

    I'd love to give you a big hug, to be with you, but I can't. I hope you have someone who goes with you to the vet.

    We'll be here, as you need.

    mmMekitty

    1 person found this helpful
  22. Matchy69
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    12 January 2022 in reply to Panicmerchant

    Hi Panicmerchant I am so sorry your beautiful dog has relapsed and is in pain again.It does not sound good at all what I have read in your last update.I only prey she will rally for you or go in her sleep which takes that decision away from you.Maby it was one last rally so you could enjoy her for one last time taking her for a walk and enjoying her.Their is a lot of pain for you making that decision and emotional is really an impossible decision to make.You can only make the best decision you believe is right for your beloved dog.I am here and will check out for you and you are in my thoughts and prayers.

    Mark.

    1 person found this helpful
  23. Panicmerchant
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    148 posts
    13 January 2022

    Hi Friends

    I have an amazing update. I took her to my vet today. Within five minutes the vet had diagnosed a disc/verterbra issue...possibly arthritis or possibly caused by the fall darling girl had from car about two months ago???? She also has a slight ear infection.

    She is now on muscle relaxants, ear medication and another pain killer. No walks for five days and needs to lose weight.

    I am so relieved...so flabbergasted that the other vet never once mentioned it could be her back?! I only went to them as my vet was closed over the holiday break.

    The vet truly believes she will recover from this. I cannot state how grateful I am to all of you beautiful people who helped me. I simply couldn't believe she was at the end as she was still loving her food etc? I am so so glad I did not make that decision!!!!

    Luckily I have some money or it might have been a different decision. She is worth every cent. She is fast asleep on her bed now as is quite highly medicated. The vet says she needs to rest...which she of course resists! She is such a darling beautiful soul!

    Love to you all. Pray that she recovers from this. I am totally worn out but happy. I do think she will be ok!!!!

    xxxx

  24. Panicmerchant
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    148 posts
    13 January 2022 in reply to Matchy69

    Dear Mark

    Thankyou so much...I have posted update on my miracle girl!

    xx

  25. Panicmerchant
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    148 posts
    13 January 2022 in reply to mmMekitty

    Dear mmMekitty

    I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved cat :(

    I posted update on my darling girl...finally have a diagnosis and she will most likely make a full recovery! I am in shock...of a good kind!

    thanx for caring

    hugs

    xx

  26. Matchy69
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    13 January 2022 in reply to Panicmerchant

    Hi Panicmerchant that is great you finally got a diagnoses that means you don't have to make that hard decision.I was hoping and praying that the vet could make a diagnoses for you that was curable.It was so hard for you the vets are so expensive and trying to get a diagnoses can be very expensive.I am so glad their is happy ending in this story for you.

    Take care,

    Mark.

  27. mmMekitty
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    13 January 2022 in reply to Panicmerchant

    What wonderful news! & what a wondrful relief for you, to have a way to help your darling dog. I'm so pleased for you & her. 😹

    How do you think you'll manage the doggie diet? I found it so hard to not give in to Mekitty (that was her name(). I am similar with myself, even knowing what's good for me, I still find being stern about such things as maintaining a healthy diet.

    I feel bouncy with happieness for you & your dog!

    mmMekitty

  28. missep123
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    14 January 2022 in reply to Panicmerchant

    Hi Panicmerchant,

    I can see the hope and relief from your most recent post- I feel that with you! I can completely understand - our pets are our family, we love them so much and when something happens it's honestly so devastating.

    I once heard something (which might be completely out of the box and might not be something a lot of people believe in) but I wanted to post it here just in case, there was an animal psychic medium and she said that our pets are more worried about us and what we are feeling, they are not worried about themselves but just want us to be happy.I hope that gives you some comfort, I have so much anxiety about my pet's health that it made me feel better just truly enjoying my time with them and making sure that I am there for them but also that I am taking care of myself or else they will worry.

    We are here for you, please keep us updated

  29. Panicmerchant
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    148 posts
    14 January 2022

    :) :)

    Things have deteriorated significantly since my last post! Three hours after I bought darling home from vet she was very sedated due to the medications they put her on. She became very distressed; was trying to get up to go outside to the toilet but couldn't. Had an accident which I cleaned up. I rang the vet and they said the side effects of the meds are quite severe to begin with (did not tell me that at the morning appointment) and to continue with the protocol.

    By 4pm she was again extremely distressed; again because she couldn't get up to go outside...another accident that I cleaned up. Rang vet again who said to go get a pain medication patch for her as 'her pain must be high'...how the heck could it be after so much medication? So went and got the patch.

    Dragged mattress into loungeroom so she could sleep on it with me; put towels everwhere...she kind of went to sleep but woke at 12.50 am extremely distressed; it was absolutely awful; she was howling; thrashing around but almost in a trance? Soiled herself...I rang emergency vet who was very kind and again retiterated how strong the drugs are and she told me it can take day or two for darling's system to become accustomed to them. She advised to give her two of the dog pain medication which I did; darling went to sleep ten minutes later.

    All was well until 5.50 am when exactly the same thing happened! Again rang emergency vet; again; two of the pain medication etc....groundhog day!

    When office opened I rang clinic I took her to yesterday and told them what had happened . I was so distressed and frustrated. I got the usual 'medication can take time blah blah' and I said 'well she wasn't great yesterday morning but she is absolutely almost comatose now!". I said is this her new normal??? I am getting palmed off by everybody!

    Meanwhile my mattress is absolutely ruined and I have had to purchase a new one at great expense online, I do not care about that; what I care about is that my beloved hound is now in a terrible state and nobody wants to take accountability!! The only person in this whole disaster who has helped was the emergency vet overnight; she was so calming and so kind; not once did she say 'bring her down' at great expense and stress for my darling girl.

    I am besides myself. I have had next to no sleep for over three weeks. I have no clue what the outcome will be for my darling . Seeing her in that awful state was totally traumatising. I have spent over 2,500 with this terrible outcome.

     

  30. Matchy69
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    14 January 2022 in reply to Panicmerchant
    Hi I am sorry your poor dog is suffering when she should be improving.This is so stressful for you and I just want your dog to be pain free.It must be so upsetting for you.Lack of sleep is going to effect you.I hope things can improve for your beloved dog.

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