Hi, I'm new to this so I'm not sure how much to say
I have dealt with more life than I can begin to process in 28 years, ranging from childhood trauma, medical trauma, and just life trauma in general. I have dealt with some of these traumas depending on my current situation and what I have needed to get through life.
Lately, I've been going down a path of self-development and feeling like I am ready to embrace this journey and feeling like it's the right time.
I had forgotten about the trauma for quite a long time (many years) until only recently.
I can remember transferring to a new school at the end-of-year one, and in year 2 I was friends with everyone. I can remember a McDonald's birthday party and even the popular girls were there, but in year 3 I developed bites or something on my body all up my legs and arms. I don't know how they happened, I just remember hearing in the background that I would get them at my Father's place on visits because the house wasn't very clean, maybe bed bug bites or something? I can remember they use to be so itchy and as a child, I didn't have the self-control to not scratch. I would have calamine lotion on them and I guess this was not a good look with orange blotchy dots, and it made me a target. I went from being popular and well like to the 'queen of germs'. I didn't have a single friend until high school. I would avoid all the kids to avoid being bullied. I used to sit by myself every recess and lunchtime, and because of this, I don't think I actually know how to have proper conversations. I think it's a combination of not knowing what to say and the fear of being rejected. I'm seeing the uni counsellor on Tues (we have had a few sessions previously but nothing this full-on) and I want to work through this but I'm not sure how to bring it up
thanks so much for your help :)