Hi Sophie, what do you & Not_Batman mean by "nesting replies" please? I'm confused

Hi Sophie,

Thanks very much for clarifying

Perhaps this idea of reporting a post and the reasons for doing so could be attached to the rules?
Some were saying they found the "report a post" a little bit confusing or didn't know about it.

I like the values that underpin the forum and like how we can work towards those values in 2021 and also that the spirit of the forums is to include and welcome.

G'day Sophie

Subject: "Mark this post as helpful"

I'm new to this very long thread; my apologies if I am rehashing something that has already been flagged, discussed and dispatched.

At the bottom of every post, we see a "Mark this post as helpful" button. In the context of the population that this forum serves, I often wonder if a count above "1", serves any real purpose. This type of button (and counter) has a place on social media, and ecommerce sites, but I wonder if its place here, is as clear-cut or as helpful.

On the positive side, the button gives the author of the post some feedback; on the negative side, the counter does not serve the original poster (OP) or others reading the thread looking for answers.

Without criticising, large post counts on some types of threads, probable have a negative impact on the OP. I'm not saying that this is deliberate, just an unintentional consequence of well meaning members agreeing with what has been said. Unfortunately, when the OP sees the a high count contrary to there feelings, s/he may feel isolated and bullied.

Similarly, posters that see a high count on a particular thread, may not be willing to share contrary views for fear of being out of step with the majority. In this case, the OP loses an alternative point of view.

So the question is; do we need a counter that counts above one. In the current setup, do the pros outweigh the cons.

Paul

Hey Mb20lover,  

A “Nesting reply” is the ability to reply directly to an individual comment in a thread and your response will be shown nested (or indented) under the comment. An example of “Nesting replies'' can be seen on Facebook posts. You can reply to the post or reply to another user’s comment.

Hey Mr Paul, 

Thank you for raising your concerns with the “Mark this post as helpful” button. You raise some valid points and questions regarding the usefulness of this function. Previously, a survey was held to determine whether the function should remain. You can read the results here: https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/welcome-and-orientation/member-survey-what-should-we-do-with-the-mark-this-post-as-helpful-button-#qrkIWXHzvGGEbv8AAOnT_A

Perhaps, it's time to reassess.

Hi mb20lover.

so the nesting is similar to the folder structure in a computer...not following?, dont worry we’ll get to that.

the threads in the forum start with a single post. Then someone responds to that post, and so on. But the posts in the thread can become a bit confusing as someone may be referring to a post that was back a few. this makes it tricky to keep on track of what the original intent of the thread was.

the big red reply button currently allows a user to replay to a particular post, but the reply is still put at the very end of the thread. If you wanted to reply to the second post on the thread, your reply goes right to the end, and nobody really knows what you were responding to.

with the nested format, the idea is that you can have the main thread continue..as an example 3 self care things (from our EM), where the users post thier self care bits. But suppose you add a reply that goes off topic a little. In that case a sub thread is created. Its still in the main thread, but off to the side.

so if you want to continue to post on the main thread you can, if you want to add a Reply to something else you can as well...it just helps to keep the conversation clearer and organised.

think of nesting dolls. You have the main doll, then inside you have another, then inside you have another, and so on... hence the name nesting. If you dont want see the noise of the side conversations, you can minimise it and focus on the main thread.

does that make sense?

Not_Batman

Hey Sophie & Not_Batman.

Yeah that makes sense, thanks

Hi Sophie, et al.

Subject: Thread Nesting

At first blush, thread nesting sounds like a good idea. However, the idea does have issues.

If nesting is implemented, we will most likely end up with threads, within thread, within threads; no, that is not a typo. As a result, members will be encouraged to go off topic, and the original thread may become orphaned or hijacked.

I don't think anyone can stop a thread going off topic, but the current linear system of posting does at least discourage the practice.

Notwithstanding the above, some threads, like this one, may benefit from thread nesting.

Just thinking out aloud!

Paul.

One thing that bugs me a little is that whenever i go into a thread or a post is made, the forum bar/tabs disappear (all posts-new posts-my threads).

i find that when i have made a post i have to go to the “get support” menu option to get back to the forum home.

it may be nice to have the tabs permanently visible or a red button to return the the forum home.

To add to that, i know there is the link text above, (Forums / Welcome and orientation / How can we improve the forums? Your suggestions and comments please) but the text is rather small and can be easily missed.

Hi Not_Batman

i find that when i have made a post i have to go to the “get support” menu option to get back to the forum home.

I find it easier to use the browser "back button". It's not ideal but it does work.

I agree, a button would be useful.

To add to that, i know there is the link text above

I use it only if I want to change forum; which is not often.

Once again, a button would be useful.

Cheers

Hi Sophie and All,

This relates back to discussions a couple of weeks ago where Sleepy and mb20lover were discussing being ignored by some ppl. I must say I agree with them. Whilst I have only come across it with one or two ppl - so the vast majority of ppl on BB forums are super welcoming and inclusive. But certainly there is a person that has done this to me. And it is rude and as Sleepy and mb20lover point out it is hurtful and triggering. These forums are meant to have empathy and connection for all. I try to offer advice and connect with all; whereas this person seems more interested it cliques and overly friendly daily banter with them. So it is not a case of unable to reply to a post. Which of course, is completely understandable. It is just ignoring and exclusion. Which is not what this support forum should be about. I guess there is nothing that can be done about this. But I just wanted to add my two cents on this matter. As it is poor form and negatively impacts on mental health. I worry that if a new member or a younger member was treated this way, how they would cope with it. I know it has meant I have avoided posting for this time due to this. Thanks.

Hey golden82, I completely agree with you, thanks for agreeing with me also. One of the people I was referring to ignores me even if I just say hello. That's discrimination if you ask me, and it's a form of bullying.  I try to make everyone here feel welcome, especially the new people. It's hard enough joining a forum and opening up enough as it is, no one deserves to be excluded regardless of if they're new or an old member here. It's unfair and extremely rude. I think if people continue to exclude people on purpose, they should be banned, because it is bullying. I understand people may feel comfortable with certain members but that doesn't give them the right to downright exclude people. Even if they just say something like hi back, it would still be including somebody.

Golden I'm sorry you have experienced this as well.You are a valued member of the BB community with great compassion and advice.
Take care,
Mark.

Hi all,

I think a lot of people have felt ignored, left out, or like their heartfelt words didn't mean anything.

The more you engage here the more it happens since a lot of posters don't post back or only to certain people.

Sometimes a post will be delayed and missed, someone will acknowledge it by pressing this post was helpful, or perhaps they weren't in the right headspace to write back, forgot, or just didn't know what to say.

I will of course agree that certain members are friendlier to specific members bcas of the time they've spent with each other and impact they've had on each other. Some ppl may only be comfortable in a small clique or group.

I'm not discounting anyone's feelings at all. It's healthy to express them. And I agree in being inclusive and supportive.

I remember posting a lot in the past and feeling rejected because ppl wouldn't write back and disappear.

In all honesty I don't think we can really make friends here. We can't see each other, we don't truely know who we are talking to, what they look like, everything about them and there isn't enough engagement in my opinion, even after many years.

We can share parts of ourselves and connect on levels and share knowledge but ppl come and go sporadically - in most cases. Most ppl leave...
We can't call each other...

It's really just chat...and I wouldn't take it too seriously if that makes sense.

I'd take things with a grain of salt...

Hi Guest and everyone 👋

After posting I tap forums that gets me back fairly quickly.

Hope this is of some help ☺

I tend to agree with you there monkey, and very well put. Its an anonymous forum that people come to for support, and maybe we can all look into things too much, and come to different conclusions.

i too am not discounting on invalidating anybody's feelings, its a matter of perspective. i havent felt left out by anyone.

Golden & MB20, im sorry you have both felt this way, and i hope that it can sort itself out. I wouldn't want you to leave the forums feeling unsupported.

Not_Batman

Hello Not Batman, monkey, golden, mblover, db, matchy and everyone ,

I think people can unintentionally not include people and everyone on here has struggles and problems. Also words can be misinterpreted .

I have mentioned before that I am sorry if people feel excluded. I hope by discussing these bad experiences we can work towards making the forum even better.

I feel the vast majority of people here are welcoming and supportive.

Spot on quirky! On all accounts.

Not sure if its been suggested yet, I wonder if it is possible to sort by the threads by the number of post that there are. Sometimes a thread may go unnoticed.

Dear Not_Batman

To be totally ignored after opening up for the first time would be horrible, and we do our best to see that does not happen. It concerns us greatly.

It is not possible for members to sort, let alone by number of posts.

The Moderators, the Coordinator and other staff do manually try to find threads that have not been answered in a reasonable time - as do Champs and others. Sadly one occasionally does slip though the net.

At the moment it is a case of everyone, staff, champs and posters pulling together to make this place the best possible.

If you see such a thread by all means have a go at answering, even if it is outside your experience, after all one can at least greet a new user and acknowledge their problems. If you find you simply can't then report the post if it has been sitting very long time.

If you have any ideas other than the above please sing out.

As you know we will be having a new platform and this very problem is being addressed.

Croix

Hi everyone, this is just a friendly suggestion.

I don't know if there's already a thread, but can someone (I don't feel comfortable doing it myself, but no pressure to anybody) please make a thread to go on of a night, so for example like 1am or earlier when people like myself can't sleep/are bored/lonely? So like a night time/insomnia thread.

Just a suggestion.

Dear Mb20lover~

In response to your post there is now a thread called Night Owls, for AFTER MIDNIGHT use.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/night-owls-(for-those-awake-late-and-can't-sleep 

The purpose of this thread is as a meeting point for those that can’t sleep and it is late.

It can be a useful space for users to share their issues with insomnia as well as coping strategies. It can also be a general space for users to converse and support one another throughout a difficult night.

Please note – for those that are just bored or lonely we already have a place - the café, which I suggest you use.

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/bb-social-zone/the-bb-cafe

Croix

Hey Croix, thanks for that.

I do use the Cafe but no one seems to be on it when I am.

Dear mb20lover~

Yes that can happen, why not encourage others to the new thread, you might start off by saying in it how much of a problem insomnia is for you,maybe some of the reasons why (up to you) , then invite others to share their experiences

Croix

I'll do that shortly. Thank you for making it.

Hi mb20lover!

Its always great to read your posts and thankyou again for being a part of the Beyond Blue family... and your thoughts on forum development/improvement too!

The Beyond Blue Cafe may not have anyone there at the moment yet it has been a very supportive thread for new members that are 'finding their way' on the forums including myself in January 2016

I just read a post that mentioned "for those that are just bored or lonely we already have a place - the café"

Fortunately that post doesnt reflect the reality of the Beyond Blue Cafe

my kind thoughts .....Paul

thank you for your kind words Mark - same goes for you :)

Hi all,

I was reading the conversation about feeling rejected, ignored or left out and agree it is an ongoing issue. I think Quirky made a very important point... We all have issues, are human and can only do what we are able.

One thing that has helped me combat feeling isolated or out of place on the forums is bookmarking (in my favourites on my phone) this thread by Dr Kim...

https://www.beyondblue.org.au/get-support/online-forums/staying-well/taking-things-the-wrong-way-(on-the-forums-and-in-life)#qmTvZ3HzvGGEbv8AAOnT_A

Whenever I feel hurt I go to this thread to remind myself to give people the benefit of the doubt and to remember most slights are unintended and not personally directed at me.

As someone who is anxious and depressed it is so easy for my mind to immediately go down the path of thinking I'm being snubbed or rejected even if I'm not.

An example of unintentionally snubbing people is obvious in my own behaviour lately. I haven't been able to post. Have taken a break from being a CC and post only when I can in threads that feel safe to my mind. It is simply self care and managing risk. But I'm sure others feel hurt.

I agree when people disappear it is upsetting. But it helps to remember that people may want to stay anonymous. I do. Sometimes that is the only reason I feel safe to post. Whenever the idea of private messaging here is suggested it freaks me out.

Just throwing out a different point of view in the hope it might help when people feel hurt.

Nat

Hi everyone.

Croix - thanks for the kind words. Yeah the BB Cafe hasn't been very active lately, sigh. I'm happy to talk to anyone anywhere on the forums of course.

Quercus/Nat - I see your point, but for me, I have a Social Phobia believe it or not. It's extremely hard for me to make friends online and in person, especially in person. So if I get ignored by someone I know or don't know, then I feel like it's personal and then I beat myself up so to speak. It makes me feel horrible. I know and understand people feel comfortable with certain people but it's still a nice thing to acknowledge somebody, even if it's just a hello or thank you.

Hi Quercus thanks for that thread link .I hope it helps people out.The problem with some of us we have depression,anxiety and depression and have been rejected through out our lives.Their are many reasons why people don't respond to a post and it is not necessarily bad.It just happens some times.I find most people on here genuinely friendly and compassionate.
Take care,
Mark.