"Laziness" vs having children.
My 1st wife was 19yo and me 29 when we married. The honeymoon should have told me everything. All packing etc done as she slept and slept. I always had hope she'd mature and "do something ".
Every morning for 4 years I struggled to get her out of bed to go to work after I'd do the housework. Falling pregnant we planned on the old fashioned lifestyle, mum at home with the kids. In the least I hoped she'd look after the children. Long story short I ended up working 3 jobs. One in security 42 hrs a week 12 hr shift work, lawn mowing round and building cubbies. One evening I got home asked her "what's for dinner" . "What do you want". Anything, I have to fix the car dear. I returned, no dinner, "I asked you what you wanted for dinner, didn't say I'd cook it" she said. By this time although she agreed to be the "homemaker" I resorted to doing the washing and changing nappies more often than her. It lasted 11 years..doctor home visit requested, bloods taken checked for depression. Etc. When he arrived at 2pm she greeted him in her pyjamas. His diagnosis? Severe laziness. .My suicide attempt led to divorce.
Her second husband greeted me at the gate when I dropped the kids off. He was after advice...he had the same issues. They divorced. Then 3rd partner, gone same.
I've since expressed to people that all humans should strive to accomplish as close to 50% of life's workload as possible. Failure to accomplish say 40% is forcing your partner to take up that extra 10%. The real problem as well as that is that the partner should "worry" over their partner taking up such extra chores and the unhappiness it brings. Such absence of consciousness is imo the real issue. Plenty of carers of physically disabled partners do less even far less than 40% without issue due to showing appreciation and "trying".
Summary- laziness is not compatible with a loving living together partnership. It won't change with adding workload like having children and can be the catalyst to separation, sad life
I'd go further- lazy people are not capable of being considerate enough for most relationships to survive. Consideration is a large chunk of what we seek in love but sadly it in an ingredient we assume is within the person we fall in love with that promises the world.
Yep, still angry 25 years after the divorce, the absurdity of it all.
Ps she had great parents when it comes to doing everything for her lol.
Sorry for the bad news dear Juliet.