Hi again nlr
Readign about you, might as well be reading about myself- giving your heart to others and getting hurt. Boy that's me.
Being taken down by a partner- no havent felt that but many fellow employees have done so. you automatically trust but most dont trust until they are proven trustworthy.
These inherit factors of our personality wont change, its us, its you, you shouldnt need to change and dont!. When you realise one day that it is a gift and not a restraint, only then will you embrace this ingredient to your makeup. You shouldnt change but you should develop some basic protective mechanisms. And they are-
Social media....if you are on FB reduce your friends. Mine went from 180 to 45 earlier this year. I was vulnerable to bullying. This big guy at 58yo.!!
When any friendship is developing seek out others views on that friendship. you'd be amazed at others perspective.
Stay away from clubs. If you like golf, play golf. At the 19th hole stay there only long enough for others to feel you arent being rude etc then leave.
Now, what about letting yourself be a man with less self expectations? We are always being a superman. About time you let go of your superman. People that have been successful in their field- high up the ladder, when they lose that they fall far. Yet in life's journey being that high up financially and career wise, are only two links in the chain of living.
A while ago I wrote a thread on "back to basics". It was to offload things that have attached to us that weigh us down. We live in the fast lane and lose sight of the basics. We forget how to find what give us excitement, adrenalin, laughter and comfort. We forget how to live lone happily or separate from a partner amicably. We need to retrain ourselves on priorities like need then all other things, our needs first then others. If we dont we run the risk of self destruction.
Many people go bankrupt, you just dont hear about it now. Many lose their homes through gambling. Many lose out emotionally and maritally. Just visit a caravan park and you'll see.
In 1996 when I separated from my wife I had a credit card, a 4 metre long 30 yo caravan, a job and one good friend. I'd lost my full time fatherhood, my dog, my neighbours, my faith in life. I was 40yo and I'd been working for 23 years.
I was a failure also in my eyes until I discovered a direction. That was to save a little then some money from my credit card to buy a block of land. I was flying again.
Think of finding a new direction?