Hi there Bee
The break up of a relationship can be truly horrible to get through and everything can become so overwhelming at the time – and that’s the other thing: ‘time’. Time just seems to slow right up and it feels like you’ll never get over this person. But that isn’t the case – you probably don’t want to hear that right now – but Bee, it WILL get better.
Now you’re also not stupid, you’re not silly and you’re not pathetic – you also wrote that you’re little – but I can’t comment on that, for obvious reasons. :) Bee, you simply wouldn’t be human if you weren’t experiencing these emotions (you’d be a Terminator) and I strongly suspect that you are not one of those humanoid/machines. And so these feelings that you’ve got happening are all genuine, they’re real and YES, they hurt.
I think when you wrote this, it actually wasn’t all that long ago that this split had first happened – correct me if I’m wrong here – but if that is correct, then this break is still extremely raw for you – but I guess I really just want you to know that what you’re feeling/experiencing now is real and is normal – it just has to be ridden out and kind of like you’re breaking in a horse. It’ll buck and twist and turn and want you off its back – but the more you hang on and hang on, the less the horse bucks – and after a while, he realises – “oh kay – if I continue to buck, you’re just going to remain sitting there, so bugga it, I’ll just accept it and move on with things – and it’s kinda cool to have you on my back”. I don’t even know if that analogy fits this situation, but thought it was ok at the time.
Please be kind to yourself Bee and I would really like to hear back from you.