Hi Lisa Lionheart,
Welcome to the forums and thanks for deciding to join us. I'm sorry to hear about what you're going through- my heart hurts thinking about what it must be like; hard enough being in lockdown, let alone having a mum who is unwell.
I can relate to questioning relationships; and I think for me when I'm having a tough time, I either feel like I don't matter too much, or I have a push/pull because I need them and don't want to be a burden. What's it like for you? Who do you have around you that you can talk to?
I hope you'll find some people here who can relate, but I also found some online forums at the Cancer Council too- they've got a section just for friends, family and carers so I'll link to that below. Maybe that could be a place to go to find people who are going through something similar
I hope this helps a little; be kind to yourself.