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Topic: living alone

  1. randomx
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    3349 posts
    5 August 2021 in reply to CMF

    Hiya cm , and thks for the thoughts.

    l envy your situation, bc you've both been able to just take your time, you even live close. Those would be such a luxury to me these days.

    But yeah , lot of thinking last few mths. Nothing unexpected with us and this now we've known mths now it was getting too much for both of us really.

    Reflections though , yeah , true true. And you know , in both situations these beautiful women both tried so damn hard with me and for us . But in both situations l held back sooooo much and for soooo long and basically that costed us, both times.

    Either one of them were gifts really such gifts any man would just feel blessed especially at this stage divorce and all. But both times my holding back pretty lead to changing everything . Gf now for example , she just wanted to go for it 2yrs back, she made beautiful plans , and plans that also would've fixed her legals, she was braver than me yet she yet had much more to lose,,and if we did at that time it would've changed everything. None of this crap she's been going through up Nth would've even happened , long story. And we could've had an extra 2yrs of real life together waiting.

    Both times though so yep , talk about gun shy.

    rx

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  2. CMF
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    6 August 2021 in reply to randomx

    Hmmmm...yeah I hear you but there must be a reason for holding back. Maybe something not sitting right? I can understand If you didn't want to rush things & I guess it's not up to you do do things to fix other's problems. That's alot of pressure just there.

    Maybe they just weren't the ones? I understand the age things and being divorced. It's harder to just start all over. I get it.

    Cmf x

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  3. randomx
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    3349 posts
    6 August 2021 in reply to CMF

    Yeah that's true , there were reasons absolutely big things too but things l knew just time itself would work through and show the way . After being married 20 yrs l don't think needing a yr or two together and just seeing how we go before jumping in is unreasonable at all myself, especially when there are some big side issues.

    But yeah , it had been getting that way too with gf , even she'd been constantly feeling really bad and guilt about me having to deal with it all too.

    rx

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  4. randomx
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    3349 posts
    10 August 2021 in reply to randomx

    We talked yesterday.

    ln one breath she told of how much she loves me but in the next of how she's too sick to be in a relationship and she doesn't know if she'll ever be able to have one gain now. But how does that work if you truly love somebody ? l believe she does , that's one thing that's never wavered in almost 3yrs . But sometimes l've thought love is not such a big thing in her culture and maybe that's why she can think the way she has been and probably even walk away .

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  5. randomx
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    3349 posts
    10 August 2021 in reply to randomx

    lt doesn't make sense to me , and if not for love l'd think it's all just an excuse to dump us for other reasons, it's just bizarre . Though l do know more than anyone on this planet where she's at and the state that she's in , and on one hand l can understand that being in that , a relationship even with love , could just be that bit too much , almost maybe a burden, at a time like this for her.

    Would that make sense , or is there something else going on to this ?

    Me , if l was in her shoes , having her , her love and support , would be what was getting me through , it'd be the one thing that'd l would be holding on to and just living for the day we'd be together again. Although em described somewhere here that when she was going through her stuff , she wanted out to bc it was all just too much. Maybe it is legit for gf , her situation is certainly 300% legit l know that butttt !

    Tbh , l'm just not sure whether l should shut this down properly emotionally for myself and try to except moving on , or just lay low and wait it out thinking l'll hear from gf later on when things are all sorted , if they were.

    lt's like l need to answer that to myself , because as if l need to know in order to be real in life from here , and if l am real , life with then be real in return and take on it's new paths . But if l am in wait even subconsciously, or stuck on maybe, it just can't.

    rx

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  6. blondguy
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    10 August 2021 in reply to randomx

    Hey mate....I hope you have been travelling okay

    I grow weary of being in these sporadic lockdowns when only one part of the metropolitan area has the problem

    Paul 👍

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  7. CMF
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    10 August 2021 in reply to randomx

    Hi rx (wave to Paul),

    I think she may genuinely be too sick and doesn't want to hold you back.

    I feel like that at times but my M doesn't understand anxiety/depression you do. Still, you know it drains everything out of you, so much so that it feels there's nothing left to give. I too would love someone who understood and supported me in that situation.

    As far as you moving on, I think only you can really know if you're ready to.

    Hugs

    Cmf x

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  8. randomx
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    3349 posts
    10 August 2021 in reply to CMF

    Hiya cm .

    Weird you should put it like that, that's what she's said. She doesn't want to hold me back or wreck my life or for me to get hurt , and some other things.

    l mean l can only say from the outside l would want her in my life if l was in her situation, but true as you say, we all know depression and anxiety around here. And actually bc of that l couldn't really say though for sure that l could cope either. Admittedly there have been times for me too actually , where a relationship would've been too much.

    Gday Paul , and thanks mate.

    l certainly hear you although we have had it much easier up here and we're free again now to as of yesterday. But even up here yeah it is all getting very very tiring and you can see the weariness of it all in people. l'm sorry for you guys l know it's been so much worse and harder down there and it must all be just that damn exhausting and taxing at this stage .

    Hope your hanging in there.

    rx

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  9. randomx
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    3349 posts
    11 August 2021 in reply to randomx

    Of course l've been saying to myself mths now l'm flicking the off switch but of course in reality that's a lot easier said than done, no switch , l wish.

    rx

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  10. ecomama
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    11 August 2021 in reply to randomx

    Hey rx

    Yes I did want out when it was all too much. Plenty of times. Tbh from recollection, having BF in an LDR was "another huge responsibility" and too much to burden him with. I was so overwhelmed I could barely breathe.
    When he tried to speak to me, I couldn't concentrate on anything he said. I was way too distracted on what I needed to do next for this Lawyer, the paperwork I had to fill out like yesterday for another Hardship Application, feeding all my kids... too much for one person. Wash rinse repeat many cycles a day.

    Because BF actually couldn't understand, it felt demanding having him as a responsibility.
    He "knew" because I had to relay every minutae of detail and hated doing that too.
    I was LIVING it all then having to repeat it all too was omg... get me out of this!

    I just needed a moment to BREATHE without obligation to BF.

    Not sure if this makes sense?

    This feeling is similar all over again now.
    But this time I'm taking a more assertive stance and just not communicating with BF, barely at all!

    I know he loves me lol, he knows I love him.
    But never the twain shall meet atm as we're worlds apart in circumstances.

    It's all I can do to keep my family afloat atm. My work place is crumbling and bickering nastily. I'm taking on more Leadership roles because everyone's losing their shmit. blah blah blah lol.

    I'm alot more stoic this time. It is what it is.
    We plan to see each other again, marry, enjoy life together... whether we'll have that opportunity is anyone's guess.

    My Counsellor said lots today (her last appt with me for 6 months as she goes to America next week).... one thing she said is "Be kind to yourself, like really ACTIVELY kind". Remember that when you need to talk to me. BE KIND.

    I'm also beginning a Journal for when I need to talk to her, we joked as I'm calling it WWJD ie What Would Jane Do? (instead of Jesus lol) and her name isn't Jane btw.

    BF always said things like "It's gonna take a LOT more than that to get rid of me" and "Baby I'm in this for the long haul" and other such sweet and beautiful things. He's stood by every word for years now.
    I'm grateful he has.

    I hope you got some take away from all that, hang in there big fella, be kind to rx.

    Love EMxxxx

  11. randomx
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    3349 posts
    11 August 2021 in reply to ecomama

    Hita em .

    And thx for the the time but really , you have so much going on right now lady , speaking of looking after em.

    lt has been very handy and helpful hearing your feelings from back at the time hell yeah though,and so thanks again.

    But unfortunately as l've said yeah l've been all that and much mich more butttt, well , she isn;t em and it's just gotten to where it has at this stage now. We've have had a lot of breaks and gaps this yr too for her any space she's needed where l'm just not there unless she needs me so to speak and she's just called or messaged out of the blue all over the place when she has and it has helped her a lot earlier she's told me many times.

    But sadly too l've also felt the decline and this last few mths apart from a few wks at her sons, things for her have gone so down hill and unfortunately come to this now.

    lronically in the very same breath last we talked , we also talked about still marrying and our life , if this is ever all over for her later on too. The time spans though are nothing to do with me however long they may be if ever, if ever l don't mind , l can do the time it's not that , it's "her" l can;t know whether to wait on or not.lt's impossible to explain the way she's been this last yr.

    rx

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  12. randomx
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    3349 posts
    14 August 2021 in reply to randomx

    Well , obviously things haven't tickled in all this and one of the biggest has been wondering if her love was even real, if she could decide on going this way , so not a happy time. Even though l was 99% sure it was real and she was still telling me so too . But words , yaknow. Yet this.

    Anyway she sent a long message last night out of the blue and phoned later too. Her head was a lot clearer and she felt she could explain things and translate better so she wanted to talk. Thankfully things are now making much more sense.

    Her main thing is not about us or feelings or her coming back down at all , apart from just feeling unable to cope with a relationship right now in the state she's been in on top of everything else.

    Anyway , so glad she did . The gist of things were more she's just so scared of losing these cases. She needs to stay there and focus and get through it, to be there for the lawyers and case workers and the mountains of garbage, or there'll be no us anyway. Not to mention, no money , no being near her kids, everything she's worked for 10yrs and been through.

    l feel so stupid for not grasping that side of things and just thinking of the us n me in all this , there couldn't even be an us if she doesn't do this.

    Soooo, well , there still can't be an us right now and who knows what the future will hold but l just feel so much better having proper understanding of it now. Even though l don't know how l couldn't just understand all that before now that she's put it that way.

    rx

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  13. CMF
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    14 August 2021 in reply to randomx

    Don't be too hard on yourself. You were being supportive and we can't help feelings of love.

    You were doing the best you could given the circumstances and you were doing what you would want. You weren't to know how she was feeling, you're not in her shoes.

    I'm glad she was able to open up and express herself.

    Hugs

    Cmf x

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  14. randomx
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    3349 posts
    14 August 2021 in reply to CMF

    Ahh thanks cm.

    Yeah she actually said more than 10 yrs closer to 15 she's worked to be where she was at , l mean your not gonna drop the ball now then are ya. And it's looking like they;ll be locked down a good while yet and on off even after this one too so yeah, she's doing the smartest thing for sure.

    Doesn't change much for where we're at but it does help though nonetheless . Just have to see where the future takes things hey.

    big hug, hope your coping.

    rx

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  15. ecomama
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    17 August 2021 in reply to randomx

    Hey rx

    I saw some stuff you wrote elsewhere too and read back a bit.
    Yep, I'm "in the eye of the tornado" atm so doing some SELF-CARE lol... will have a scrubby bath, heat up some dinner and BE on BB Forums for a stint.

    You sent a letter?

    I'm glad she called and talked thru stuff with you. She obviously cares still, a lot.

    I think when I said similar to BF that all I've ever worked hard for, for 40y, is going to go down the gurgler unless I'm 1500% focussed, he got it more. But it was VERY hard for him. Poor thing. I'm seeing through your words just how hard it was for him.

    Is it still in a limbo state?

    or

    NC for now?

    Is she OK with you reaching out or has said don't contact me?

    Re: the lock down here in NSW - yes I think we're in for a Victorian 2020 experience or similar.
    I truly believe you're right there.
    Schools already tossing around HOW to Award an HSC and those exams aren't until late Oct / Nov... so that gives me a very solid bump to the ground, in reality.

    Travel being clamped down tighter. Far bigger fines.
    Like there's no way to travel unless it's absolutely necessary / have a Permit from next Fri.

    So the writing's on the wall rx. Longer LD.

    I feel for those suffering with the horrid virus. Their families and friends.

    I feel for US suffering missing the one we love right next to us. Or being able to be next to them.

    Hugs.

    Love EM

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  16. Guest_1643
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    17 August 2021 in reply to ecomama

    hey rx, sounds like ur going through a lot

    sending support through all this, how tough.

    sounds like ur both trying but there are some struggles along the way that are big, agree with CMF, your feelings are pure and make sense.

    it seems like walking away isnt an option.... that something keeps u together. i feel the pain though, of not knowing where it can and will go, and having the stress of legal stuff and separations.

    So sorry and sending care.

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  17. randomx
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    3349 posts
    17 August 2021 in reply to ecomama

    Hiya em , and thanks too as always , and with everything you have going on already, your too kind.

    But nah as l just replied over on Geoff's thread, the letter wasn't to gf , totally separate it's just to ex from back in the day. l haven't seen her in 3 or 4yrs. And no no ones sleeping around or seeing other people but thx for worrying, like you don't have enough already.

    Gf now yeah she calls and messages all the time but we'd suppose to be on a break last few mths and cooling the old jets. But this particular time last wk , was about the situation bc she finally found a way to put her side of things and we cleared a lot up.

    You see at times for us it's hard to explain but where your not both English native, she does speak English of course and we can talk about anything but say delicate things, she often just can't find the words in English. And neither can l in English to her either in ways l'll know she has the correct meaning of whatever it's about. Well she called bc she finally figured out how to explain properly, where she's at in English. And bc she was in a particularly English perception mood l could explain with no misunderstanding in translation exactly where l'm at too. Long and short of it , we're so glad we talked.

    As from here on yeah l just wanna do my thing tbh and get on with stuff atm . l don't wanna be talking too much but we'll most likely talk here and there . We both basically wanna put us on hold though now until her court cases are done but no one knows when that will be as yet but we think it's best.And she needs everything she has to even just get through it too tbh.

    Hiya Sleepy and thanks for finding the kind thoughts. Your going through enough yourself right now and that was very very nice of you.

    Yeah she's going through huge stuff in every direction it's been an incredibly bad bad yr for her. And she's been stuck up in Sydney and waiting on 2 very serious court cases and doing all the legal stuff.

    So we just haven;'t known where to for us in it all you see bc that's all been going on 12mths and we've hardly seen ea other. And sadly she's been in a really bad way with stress and depression in it all too.

    We have no idea when the courts will be you see either, could be 12mths or more yet. So yeah with what she's going through it's been very hard especially from 1000s k apart and lockdowns all over the place sooooo, we've decided to cool it for awhile basically.

    Thx again, hope ur getting through.

    rx

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  18. randomx
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    3349 posts
    18 August 2021 in reply to randomx

    l've been having very weird sensations last few wks. l feel exited , tingly which is very strange bc of what's been going on with gf - or more like not going now and probably won't be for at least a good while or possibly permanently. So obviously that's all been a sad upsetting and a very stressful time but at the same time quite relieving now just of the last few wks in just finally having some closure too. Bc we've just been so up in the air for so long now and just plain all over the damn place so all that;s been a very hard and confusing 12mths. So on the other hand our decision is also a huge relief in just finally having some direction and a knowing of where l'm at is at the same, a closure.

    Strangest thing is though and at a time like this , just WT ???? l've been having some exited thing coming through, sensations . l've had them my whole life they're a premonition thing of something about to happen and they're usually spot on. But in this case and at a time like this , it totally contradicts what l should actually be feeling bc of everything obviously that's just gone down with gf.

    But anyway , l'll take it with open arms bc it's certainly better than being down in the pits of where ever after just having basically broken up , at least for now anyway.

    Butttt, so what is cooking , something good is happening , and it's big. l only get this with a very special event or happening. Maybe it;'s about gf , that could be another reason l'm not down in the pits where you'd expect to be. Maybe her court cases come up and boom , it's all over and we can have a future , or maybe it's nothing to do with her and something else. l can't tell , but it's something.

    lt could be mths away , once l had this and it went on 7mths before it happened. Another time it was about 2mths. But it's something.

    l'll do the cards when l'm feeling it , it might show up there. l think l know what it is though but l'd rather not say it right now. At any rate though at least it's taking my mind of the gf situation.

    We see.

    rx

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  19. CMF
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    18 August 2021 in reply to randomx

    ooohhhh you must keep us posted.

    Sounds positive x

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  20. randomx
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    18 August 2021 in reply to CMF

    Oh it will be , feel it.

    Pretty sure l know what it is but dare not say.

    lt's a few mths off l think but no worries though when it eventuates you'll be the first to know haha,

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  21. randomx
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    19 August 2021 in reply to randomx

    Must admit though, right now l am starting to feel the pinch of our decision despite anything that might or not , be coming.

    Missing her today, and talking to her , and knowing how she's going too. Hard not to worry in the situation she's in.

    rx

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  22. CMF
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    19 August 2021 in reply to randomx

    Pretty normal to feel that way. Feelings don't just stop cos you make a decision....

    Doesn't mean you stop caring.

    Hugs

    Cmf x

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  23. randomx
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    19 August 2021 in reply to CMF

    Yeahhhh, l know, damn it , and thanks too cm. l was riding those feelings l've been getting believe me l knew they were carrying me right now but alas , of course it wasn't going to last.

    l think this is the longest we've never spoken , tbh l expected to hear from her by now.

    rx . o

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  24. ecomama
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    20 August 2021 in reply to randomx

    Dear rx

    Feeling for you buddy.

    With no intention to add to any anxiety over GF, but we're a way away from Sydney and the lock down being enforced here is eerie.
    I can barely find a moment to call BF between the sirens going past and helicopters flying overhead.

    If GF already struggles to express herself clearly in English, it's an added struggle for her to do so.

    Perhaps she sees the writing on the wall for her departure from Oz.
    She also probably wants and needs to spend as much quality time with her family and new grandchild now, in person while she can.

    Her battle for survival with little money and the Court cases stress will be culminating in a virtual living nightmare for her alone.
    No one close to her, not you, not her family, no one is actually going through it but her.

    It's gone on for SO long and the nightmare worsens with LD being apocalyptic and never being able to see you, for comfort and protection in some ways. That really hurts.

    It was embarrassing and humiliating for me to tell BF that I was hungry to feed the kids, so I barely did.
    Just asked him to stop sending me photos of gourmet meals he was eating.

    I couldn't have hope for the future whilst trying to survive for that day on all levels.

    On a lighter note I hope, I like that you had a fuzzy premonition type feeling happening.

    The one thing us oldies know for sure is that the only constant is CHANGE.

    That fuzzy feeling seemed to signal change for the better?

    I'm sure that's coming for you rx.

    EMxxxx

  25. randomx
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    20 August 2021 in reply to ecomama

    Hiya em. Your a thoughtful bugger, don't know where you get the time and energy for this place left after everything else your dealing with. Mind you l know it can actually be the relaxing part of our days can't it really too, in some weird way.

    And yeppa , l'm afraid it's all of the above and more for her , you've been there you know. And with this bloody lock down even her son and new gd are 2hrs by train , she can't even see them atm now. And what's with the choppers btw ?

    Normally she can talk about anything we crap on all day and night half the time but as l say with tricky things sometimes the translation can get hard for her. And as for you too yeah she's been so embarrassed with everything too though none of it's her fault but we feel how feel l know. We do think it will all come out though and she'll be ok and lawyers agree , but the poor buggers still scared to death because you never know if your right until after , yaknow. Can always get one wrong that's for sure.

    But haaa yep it will , these always have. l think l know what it is l've had this particular one only twice before it's becoming clearer now both times spot on but we see. Sorry for your lock downs though God l can't believe any of it at this stage in the game really. Thank the Gods for those chooks , funny turkeys and gardens eh. Melbourne's not looking good either atm , poor buggers down there have had enough for sure.

    You take care and thanks for the thoughts .

    rx

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  26. randomx
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    21 August 2021 in reply to randomx

    Spoke to gf tonight , was my doing. Just wanted to check in on her and talk a bit. She's isolated at her accommodation which is only a room and tiny kitchenette . The bloody windows don't open , 3rd floor. God l'd go crazy could not live with sealed windows .

    Anyway , not much to report , we both sounded pretty sluggish l know l'm tired tonight she's been stressed and anxiety ridden . We talked a little and then said ni nights.

    With this lock down up there now and back logs , no way now her cases are gonna be coming up any time soon , they'll be well into next yr at the earliest is my guess now. The legals will probably shut down too for who knows how long. Didn't bring it up though she's already feeling bad enough.

    ln two minds.

    rx

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  27. randomx
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    23 August 2021 in reply to randomx

    l don't know about us still being in touch here and there under the circumstances.

    TBH , it feels like we've split up , although neither of us called it that but really there's been very very little talk of the future 5 or 6mts now since she's gotten to where she is.Or when there was it quickly disappeared again. We use to talk about all life and plans all the time , marriage , houses , us , everything. l know it's probably a lot like EM described back during the time she was going through her situation , and gf is in a place where she just hasn't even been able to even think of the future , but that side of things is still a worry.

    With all the new lock downs and everything going on , there'll be even more of a back log and her cases could well easily be for sure now 12mths away , even longer. lf she's lost all drive for our future over this last 6mths since she went back , imagine adding another 12 or 18mths to that.

    l've thought being in touch a little at least keeps the candle burning but maybe it's more like holding onto a false hope with the frame she's been in. lf the cases do take that long which is pretty likely now , it could well be 2yrs from when we were last together and with the way she's been , false hope would be pretty detrimental.

    Maybe it's better we aren't in touch .

    Any thoughts ?

    rx

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  28. ecomama
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    23 August 2021 in reply to randomx

    Dear sweet rx

    It pains me to see you twisting yourself in knots over this but alas it's what my dear BF went through also. Bless you both!!!!

    It's SO MUCH like what I went through and I cannot express how heavy and extremely hard every breath was.

    Her future?
    The next Lawyer's email.
    Reading it (omg for her and in English - Prayers!).
    Then RESPONDING.

    Then worrying; how much will THAT cost? What can I do? How will I afford to eat? How can I pay this bill or that one?

    My "future" was getting through the next TEN SECONDS at times.

    When BF "fluffed" about "our future" I couldn't cope.
    I had to shut him down.

    OF COURSE I WANTED THAT!
    But I was in what's worse than a LIMBO... I was in a hole being dug deeper for me and my kids by a narcissistic psychopath. No light.

    I had FAITH which kept me going, kept me HOPING. Kept me Praying.
    Miraculously gave me the energy to fight the GOOD fight.

    BF opposed so much of what I was doing. How could he even understand?

    I had ZERO control over any decision demon COULD have made but it's a demon so will always be opposite of good.

    Seemingly same as GF.

    Rx I'm your friend.
    I really hate saying this but as a friend I have to be brave and say it.

    This definitely could last years.
    I have around 2y left before I'm hoping to be free of the Family Law tendrils - restrictions Property AND Children.
    So that's what? 9 years? hell on wheels.

    I Pray someone rescinds.
    Doesn't sound like GF or her ex will.

    I would never have given in. Never.

    I used some techniques that HELPED.
    I made them up myself via inclinations I saw on Closed FB groups for women going through similar and my knowledge of Family Law.

    By the time it reached FL Courts, I'd been studying FL for around 3y I think. Reading up to 700 pages a night.
    I could comprehend things, it was written in a language I could understand (not my homeland language but I was proficient in English).
    I could see the fine line I had to tread applying FL to my own situation.

    I LED my Lawyers and Barristers.
    They didn't lead me.
    They disagreed about SO MUCH and I forced them to do it anyway.

    At closing, all my Lawyers and Barristers said they had a steep learning curve with my cases.
    They'd never worked on such a "complex case".
    I opened their eyes to possibilities.

    So same with you guys.

    Rx please write, draw, express here your hopes and dreams for you and your dream partner.
    It may not be GF but you have a beautiful future ahead.

    Love EMxxxx

    3 people found this helpful
  29. jtjt_4862
    Valued Contributor
    • A special award for members who go above and beyond to support others here on the forums
    jtjt_4862 avatar
    353 posts
    23 August 2021 in reply to randomx

    Heya RX,

    I thought I'd chime into your thread. I feel perhaps she just needs the time and space by herself to sort through her problems. As much as it hurts her to want to be with you, but can't, it is something that she needs to deal with first. She feels the need to take care of her own problems first before being able to reconsider a future with you. Not being able to talk about the future, could be due to the overwhelming amount of stress and anxiety that stems from her court case, as well as the newly emerged feelings of being away from you because of circumstances. Throwing in the lockdown too, it makes things even worse for a lot of people too...

    I resonate with ya on the "being in touch a little at least keeps the candle burning". It was something I did in the past too until my ex decided to pull out the "No Contact" card 2 months ago. I thought checking in on her MH, and trying to spark small convo may help her through. But in reality, it's just hurting both of us more (or at least, for myself. I can't confirm what she's thinking, but I'd assume it's similar to myself). It's a really tricky situation to be in.

    No-contact feels right for the two of you, as you both need time and space apart from each other to deal with the heart break. But if you feel strong enough, you can let her know that she can contact you if she feels the need to reach out to you for help. During the no-contact period, give yourself some self-care that will help occupy your mind. We have no idea how the future will turn out, but it's better to keep moving forward than to stay at the same spot. We want things to improve/change, and that only happens if we move forward. Once things are better, perhaps both your paths will come across each other once more.

    Jt

    1 person found this helpful
  30. randomx
    randomx avatar
    3349 posts
    23 August 2021

    Ahhhh, em , thank you kindly for the words and support.

    l worry about you round here bc you have more than your hands full and now the lock downs , well bc of the bloody lock downs triple so l know.

    But yeppa , basically things to a T. And there's two separate court cases , one for the money she's owed , 250 t0 1/2 million actually, but she'd settle for 200 and peace right now, she just can't tell the ex that or he'd offer her 20. But which is why ex and his mum are doing this , and so the other situation too , brought on by dear mum actually .You were probably juggling at least two yourself.

    So yeah, imagine handling it all through translators on top and legal jargon, and the money , even food is a huge deal right now. And the poor thing's stuck on the 3rd floor with windows that don't even open , in lock down, that's like prison to her, she needs sky and air like l do, jezuz.

    And yep , she fired 2 lawyers, but so tired now she can't go through it again with more from scratch so she's stuck with the 2 she has , both useless.

    Haaa, dream partner you reckon , funny that . We have such an incredible peace when she's here , she would be it. The peace is just a magical thing. We just get each,our lives and that we're both in the exact same spot. lt's different to what ex and l had , but something l began to value above all else, so that although probably impossible with her touch , in anyone else , would def' be at the top of the list now that l've lived it.

    Hi jt and thanks very much dropping in and the thoughts. Sadly yeah , in many ways l feel l'm better living as if we don't have a future and l tone it down bc honestly, we're looking at 2 more yrs of this now with on going lock downs. Takes nothing, nothing , to confuse and stop lawyers and courts dead , but with all this , my God they may as well have a 3 ft thick brick wall in front of them.But of course l don't mention that to gf. But l think the poor things in for a long long haul yet. She's thinking by Christmas it;ll be all done , that's her main reason for staying and dealing with it but l don't have the heart to say what l think.

    Maybe it's best as per my original thoughts mths ago , l don't really have a choice but to just go on with life and whatever it brings.

    lt is bringing something too as l said earlier l feel it coming, l just hope l'm not backed into a corner where by l'll have to choose. Couldn't handle that.

    rx

    2 people found this helpful

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