Poss incoming rant.
l really just don't know how to feel about the last 5 and a bit yrs of my life and what l may have just wasted in a way and at this age. And not only but it has all put me right here to where l am now. l've never really believed in the things happens for a reason, l wish they did- then there'd be light. But life's proven many times to me that they do also just happen, too !
Yaknow, l see people , always have, and very often when no one else does, even when l was a kid. Well, as beautiful as gf was back being together here in so many wonderful ways, why l hung in there. There were things to, pretty big things if l was right but even if you can see your often not sure if your right until after that's shown itself. Well, despite the huge stuff she's had going on nonetheless, 3 yrs and things l worried about day one, have come out , exactly. We can blame a lot of it on her stuff but honestly just as much on that person l was worried about too. So disappointing, disheartening , upsetting and now 3yrs.
So what do you take from it, the beautiful and so special times and the knowing the other gorgeous sides of her too, be grateful, or regret the 3yrs.
Same with the ex l was involved with after divorce but that l do not regret. It was a bit over 2yrs and so not too bad and earlier on too.But far more important was that we saved ea other and showed ea other so much light, so much fun , so much chemistry and soul.We were both at the lowest point of our lives, but then we met. It was a bumpy rd to though with her, we also kinda clashed, but man , the times we had and what it did for us both at a time in life like that.
That had purpose huge purpose , and it also may've even saved us both too. But l ldk about gf and this 3yrs. Was l a fool for not listening, but like l said, you often don't know if you were right until the proof is revealed later. l might've just been scared , looking for bads . And what would've happened if we did just throw it to the wind 2yrs ago and she moved in and all this time. We might've even been married by now. Would these things have still come out, at 3yrs, 5yrs, 2yrs. l don't know, but l needed to know if l was right or wrong first.
l loved so much of our time, and things we did and lived and that happened too. Is that enough to say well then, you haven't wasted another 3yrs then have you, or 5 and a bit yrs. l don't know. Once again l won't know until life reveals whatever is next.